You know those compulsions that you can’t control no matter how much you realize it’s the wrong thing to do? Like picking scabs, itching poison ivy, or sniffing magic markers. Or, if you’re like 40-year-old Bryan Wayne Lietz, scratching off 1,400 insta-lottery tickets from your gas station employer without paying for them. Then, in a moment of heartfelt remorse or delusional torment, writing your boss a letter admitting the whole thing, begging not to get fired and asking the boss for a little “time to sleep” when he calls to discuss the situation. You know, that kind of thing.

Sorry boss, but now I must sleep [Fergus Falls Daily Journal]