It’s not enough that the hours and hours of poker on TV could send Teddy Dupay on an Atlantic City bender, now you’ve got poker professionals trying to parlay their fame into dollars away from the tables too. We’re not talking about allegiances to online poker rooms here. We expected that. We’re talking about the type of shilling that would make Ron Popeil blush. First up, poker nice guy Daniel Negreanu. Daniel’s latest effort doesn’t involve banging some nanny from Grand Rapids or getting his mom to steam him a vegan meal. Instead, he’s partnered with a software company to create a new poker video game for your home console called "Stacked." While this review glosses happily over the "Poki" A.I. developed by some university geeks in Canada, the author can’t seem to pull himself away from a cheap shot at playing poker with the unwashed masses before he jumps in:

Poker players are, by and large, classless winos that morosely fill seats at scientifically weak-assed tables for countless hours. They never bother keeping tidy books and they always dump Benjamins onto pointless 1-2 $100 max-buy no-limit games and 3-6 rounds of limit river watching. They’re the types of degenerates no sane person would want to take home to a mother, father or dog (less there’s some type of incinerator waiting at the front door).

This, of course, from a guy who’s paid to hook a PlayStation to his TV and probably hasn’t ever seen a naked girl without using a cheat code for Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball. Winos my ass. Poker players are vagrants and degenerates to be sure, but Sideways has effectively ruined the "wino" angle for all hobos, transients, and drifters hopping trains across this great country of ours. Daniel’s not alone though. Poker crybaby Phil Hellmuth is pimping something he’s calling "Camp Hellmuth." Our nephew actually went to Camp Hellmuth last year, here’s a postcard we kept around:

Dear Uncle Oddjack, Camp Hellmuth is fun! I’m learning all sorts of good stuff like how pocket Queens are only a good hand until some donkey draws out, and how if I play nothing but good cards I’ll always end up getting busted by a jackass! Counselor Hellmuth even played in our after-dark game in our cabin last night and yelled at me when I took all his nickels with my pocket threes! He sure is a sore loser!

He also sent us a leather wallet from camp with JOPKE burned into the side. Such a little ragamuffin. Stacked Video Game [Official Site] Camp Hellmuth [Official Site]