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WSOP 2005: Norman Chad Needs An Intervention

normanchad.jpgHey Normie, what’s with the self-loathing? Just because you’re the voice of poker on ESPN doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty for taking a dump on the world of online poker. Keep reading after the jump… WITH ALL THE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS OF A LAMPSHADE Quoting Norman’s latest at Inside Bay Area:

Still, I’m struck by a notion ? online poker is great for the game and lousy for the greater good of America.

(Alas, I must address a question: Am I a hypocrite? Admittedly, if I did not live near a card room or I was incapacitated for any length of time, I likely would play poker online. Plus, I am a lifelong pro-gambling advocate who now promotes poker on TV. So, on this hypocrite thing, I am somewhat guilty as charged.)

Online poker has a pretty simple dynamic:

You withdraw into your home.

You play whenever you want.

You interact only with your mouse, your mouse pad and your keyboard.

You eventually emerge from your isolation ? sometimes richer, sometimes poorer ? with the interpersonal skills of a lampshade.

Between those television teeth of his you’ll find – yes, that’s right – the hand that feeds him. Oh, and maybe someone should tell him that the tinfoil hat isn’t distracting anyone from the truth about his hairline. He’s starting to make Kareem Abdul-Jabbar look like Lew Alcindor. We are, however, prone to agree with his "Internet associates:"

(By the way ? and my Internet associates tell me I’m an idiot every time I say this ? I don’t trust online poker, either. I believe it is easier to cheat online. I don’t care what the programmers say about the software being impenetrable, if there’s that much money at stake, somebody sometime somewhere somehow is going to try to be smart enough to crack the system. Eventually, we will have an online poker scandal that will make the 2002 Breeder’s Cup pick-six betting scam look like a Soapbox Derby fix.)

Maybe next week he’ll tell us that the avatars on Full Tilt Poker are peeking at his hole cards. We await his next dispatch with baited breath. Online Poker Players Need a Life [Inside Bay Area]

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