I’m sure glad this F*CKIN’ waste of TV time is over.

And apparently, this couple from Columbus, Ohio shares the same sentiments. This couple ain’t upset that America’s most popular TV show has finished its fifth season.

Jeez… It’s been five seasons already? Ohmigod, how much more crap can America take?!?

The couple, named Dorothy and Jerry, are tired of getting phone calls from American Idol fans who believe that they are phoning in a vote for their favorite contestant.

‘’It’s aggravating when it happens,'’ said Dorothy Few.

Dorothy, at 74, didn’t watch the Fox show that crowned Taylor Hicks its latest winner Wednesday night.

‘’I hate when somebody calls and hangs up,'’ she added.

So why are those morons calling up this couple from Ohio?

The Fews’ phone number closely resembles the toll-free number Fox uses to let viewers vote for their favorite…

Miami Heat head coach, Pat Riley, reads OddJack.

He he…

Yup, every goddamn word in it. After Miami’s cheap win over Detroit in Game 1, Pat Riley NEVER used his cheap strategy of Hack-A-Ben in Game 2. Nice one coach. Thanks for reading that story.

The Pistons just barely got through Miami’s comeback bid late in Game 2 to tie this best-of-seven Eastern Conference Finals series, 1-1, with a 92-88 victory.

Pat Riley abandoned the Hack-A-Ben, they didn’t want anything to do with Ben Wallace in Game 2. The Pistons, on the other hand, had everything Ben Wallace does.

Ben Wallace was the x-factor for Detroit in Game 2. The intangibles are important in a playoff game and those are the things that make the Detroit Pistons great. Ben made all of ‘em in Game 2 to tie this series up.

He drew the charge, he went for the rebounds, heck, he even managed to stop Shaq with single coverage.

‘’I've got a busted lip and a black eye,'’ Detroit center Ben Wallace said after stopping O’Neal for much of the…

LeBron James is becoming one of my favorite targets.

Yup, him, along with Oprah Winfrey, oh-so-boring soccer (…or football, or whatever it is you soccer geeks call it) System of a Down Syndrome, and the rest of those boy bands calling themselves ‘’rock.'’

LeBron James is OLD. Yup, you read it. LeBron is not 21. Well, he’s listed at 21 but when you look at this guy’s size, his goddamn stupid face, and his beard for chrissakes, you’ll see a 30-something guy listed as a 21-year-old joke.

Yup, and the NBA likes to do these things to their superstars. Look at Kevin Garnett for example. He’s waaay taller than some seven-footers in the league and yet, he’s listed as 6-fucking-11.

Sheesh…

And perhaps the mother of everything false, LeBron calls his game the combination of Magic Johnson’s and Michael Jordan’s. Jeez… LeBron, that was a good one.

LeBron James has the size, strength, skill and instincts to be an all-time great player — more Magic than Michael. But he isn’t yet.

Let’s be honest: He isn’t even…

One sure way to take out all the fun in your town is to invite the Pope for a visit. The folks over at Warsaw are finding that out, understandably they’re not so cool about it.

First a liquor ban was imposed. Then sexy advertisements were told to out some clothes on because Pope Benedict the sixteenth is coming to town.

As CNN reported:

"An eye-catching outdoor poster for an anti-cellulite cream was covered up after a conservative group in this overwhelmingly Roman Catholic country complained that the sight of a woman’s bare backside and thigh was offensive.

Tabloid newspapers refrained from publishing their customary topless models on their back pages on Thursday, while Warsaw bars were either closed or served only low content beer."

And that’s not all. Television ads were also censored during the period of his visit. Ads for alcohol was banned along with those for contraceptive, lingerie, and tampons.

Sure for a widely Catholic nation, the Pope coming is a big deal. Why, that’s a "cute point" in heaven. You can tell St. Peter…

Your doctor has told you time and again to quit smoking. You’re at high risk of dying from lung cancer if you don’t.

Easier said than done.

If you’re a true-blooded smoker, you’ll be moving heaven and earth just to try and prevent yourself from puffing nicotene into your bloodstream. There could be the next best thing, however, this solution puts you at high risk of spending time in jail.

Doctors now agree that smoking pot won’t give you lung cancer.

Marijuana smoking does not increase a person’s risk of developing lung cancer, according to the findings of a new study at the University of California Los Angeles that surprised even the researchers.

They had expected to find that a history of heavy marijuana use, like cigarette smoking, would increase the risk of cancer.

And guess what, they didn’t.

The argument was there are as many cancer-producing carcinogens in marijuana as there are in tobacco, ergo you get the same disease. But researchers were surprised to find out that one and one don’t always make two.

Marijuana is just a heavily misunderstood drug. With more research, I bet my arse we can find more medical benefits from cannabis and use it in…

Yah, Miami Heat head coach, Pat Riley, is nothing more but a miserable bastard.

Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Miami Heat and the Detroit Pistons was shaping up to be an exciting game, to be decided with a close finish. However, Pat Riley decided to go to the cheapest strategy in the basketball court whenever you play the Pistons.

Hack-A-Ben.

Pat Riley’s team was already winning in the dying minutes of Game 1. Instead of playing on and let fate control the outcome of the game, he let Ben Wallace’s free throw dictate it.

It was 2:28 remaining in Game 1 when the Heat, up by nine points, called a timeout. Then when the game resumed, we saw Shaquille O’Neal foul Ben Wallace, leaving the Pistons with virtually no chance of scoring, not even a single point.

And they didn’t even have to play defense to do it. Ben Wallace’s shooting at the foul line is the best defense from Pat Riley’s cheap tactic.

Jeezus…

Wallace promptly bricked two free throws, although one could…

Internet gamblers are rich.

Yup, and that’s according to a recent study conducted by the American Gaming Association (AGA) in hopes that it could help advocates of a federal law change to legalize these kinds of wagering.

According to the survey conducted by Peter D. Hart Research Associates, the online gambler is more highly educated and more affluent than both the general public and the patrons of traditional bricks-and-mortar casinos.

The online gambler, whose median age is only 31 years old, was found to be very active on the Internet. They use cyberspace to conduct many day-to-day activities like watching videos, dating, or just simply talking to another… well… geek.

The survey also suggests that 70 percent of online gamblers started playing only in the last two years, showing that online gambling truly is an emerging phenomenon. Well, if these guys want ‘’emerging phenomenon,'’ they should see me in bed with a hot chick like… say… a Stacy Keibler and watch my long hard di…

Release of the American Gaming Association survey on Monday follows…

Finally, the Dallas Mavericks ended their own curse.

Well, Mark Cuban is STILL around so I guess they just erased their OTHER curse in the NBA. And that is coming oh-so-strong in the regular season and then have their asses handed to them in the playoffs.

This year, Dirk Nowitzki just couldn’t let all that happen again.

Nobody in the NBA thought that the Mavericks will claim the throne in the wild NBA ‘’Texas Triangle.'’

Before the season started, many thought that the San Antonio Spurs, fresh from their 2005 conquest of the Detroit Pistons, will be able to make a return to the finals and then face either the Pistons for the second time or that Miami Heat team on steroids.

Before the season started, many thought that the Houston Rockets will come out strong in the West. With hopefully a healthy Tracy McGrady and a rising powerhouse in Yao Ming, the Rockets seemed destined to bring back the glory days of the Houston Rockets of old, a team once led by the incomparable Hakeem Olajuwon.

Who would’ve thought that the…

Admit it, it bears a striking resemblance to Oprah Winfrey…

Religion claimed that humans were created by God in His own image and likeness. Science, on the other hand, claims that humans EVOLVED from monkeys. Who’s accurate?

The results of a study of human and chimp genomes can finally answer that question.

A new genetic analysis suggested that the earliest known ancestors of modern humans might have reproduced with early chimpanzees, creating a hybrid specie in the process.

Yeech…

Based on the study of human and chimp genomes, the scientists believe the split between the human and chimpanzee lines occurred much more recently than previously thought - no more than 6.3 million years ago and perhaps as recently as 5.4 million years ago. - MSNBC

Scientists claim that the human and chimpanzee ancestors began branching apart on the primate evolutionary tree about 9 million years ago. (Primate evolutiona… What the fuck is these guys talking about?!?)

However, according to…