Brazil. Five FIFA World Cup titles. Two Golden Ball winners.

That is the kind of team France will be facing this Saturday at the 2006 FIFA World Cup quarter-finals this Saturday in Frankfurt, Germany.

French striker, Thierry Henry, is saying he will ignore all these mumbo jumbo Brazil brings along every single time it graces the football field. Well, for the sake of France, let’s hope Henry can.

‘’If you go on the pitch with that on your mind, then there is no reason to go on the pitch,’’ Thierry Henry said.

He adds, ‘’We are going to go there with the right spirit.’’

Yeah, RIIIGHT…

France will be a decided underdog in Frankfurt when it goes up against former three-time FIFA Player of the Year Ronaldo, a former Golden Ball winner, and the reigning two-time FIFA winner Ronaldinho, the current Golden Ball holder.

However, France has won two of the three meetings against Brazil at the World Cup including a 3-0 victory in the 1998 final, and in a penalty shootout in the 1986 quarter-finals when Luis Fernandez converted…

This Fourth of July, Americans will see a lot of American flags scattered all over their streets.

After all, it’s the Fourth of July for crying out loud and it is the Independence Day of the United States of America.

Yup, Americans will see a lot of them American flags alright but how can they tell if these flags are displayed properly? Apparently, there are proper ways to display a goddamn flag and here are some ways how an American can display his USA flag properly.

Yup, even if his USA soccer / football team got unceremoniously screwed at the 2006 FIFA World Cup in Germany. (Ouch, that still hurts…)

When the flag is displayed over the middle of the street, it should be suspended vertically with the union to the north in an east and west street or to the east in a north and south street. Wha?!?

The flag of the United States of America, when it is displayed with another flag against a wall from crossed staffs, should be on the right, the flag’s own right, that means the viewer’s left, and its staff should be in front of the staff of the other flag.

Hey, America doesn’t like it when something’s in front of it anyway. Yeah, things in front of the proud US of A gets NUKED to smithereens…

When the flag is used to cover a casket, it should be so placed that the union is…

Do you wanna keep those hands after these Fourth of July festivities?

If you do, and I know you lesbians sure want to keep them fingers, here are just some friendly reminders to keep in mind.

After all, a FINGER-LESS lesbian is like baseball without a bat, or tennis without balls, or a man without a…

Well, you get my drift…

In case someone is burned by fireworks…

USA! USA!

Yeah, Americans sure love America. He he…

In a survey released by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, Americans are tops when it comes to national pride. Yup, even though the US soccer / football team got their asses kicked by… what’s that country?.. Oh yeah, Ghana.

A survey of 34 countries was conducted to find out which of these countries have the most patriotic citizens and apparently, AMERICANS conducting the AMERICAN survey found out that AMERICANS are no.1.

Hmm…

‘’The two things we rank high on are what we think of as the political or power dimension,’’ said Tom W. Smith, a researcher at the university.

He adds, ‘’Given that we’re the one world superpower, it’s not that surprising.’’

Yeah, RIIIGHT…

Venezuela came in a close second in the survey, released by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago.

People rated how proud they were of their countries in 10 areas…

Argentina’s Horacio Elizondo will be the referee for the England - Portugal quarter-final match.

Just in case you don’t know this Horacio Elizondo, he is the same man who red-carded Beckham six years ago. And after six long years, he will be on the same field with the England superstar again this Saturday at the 2006 FIFA World Cup in Germany.

For Beck’s sake, let’s hope Elizondo won’t screw England out of the 2006 FIFA World Cup tournament. After all, I like England. He he…

Both Horacio Elizondo and David Beckham are two guys you can’t call as friends. No siree. Elizondo sent-off Beckham for a studs-up tackle during Manchester United’s match against Mexican side Necaxa in the first game of the 2000 World Club Championship in Brazil.

The midfielder’s lunge at Jose Milian revived doubts about his temperament following his sending-off at the 1998 World Cup, but he was defended by Sir Alex Ferguson after the match.

Since then, Elizondo, 42, has officiated at the Olympic football tournament in Athens in 2004, and the opening match of this World Cup between Germany and Costa Rica. - ESPN

Apparently, this Horacio Elizondo guy has been surrounded with controversy…

In-form Germany striker Miroslav Klose pities Argentina for their "bad luck" in having to play the hosts in the World Cup quarterfinals.

The 1990 World Cup finalists clash again in what could be one of the most thrilling and hard-fought matches of the whole World Cup tournament.

World Cup Golden Boot leader Klose, who has four goals to his name, insists there is no reason for his country to be nervous about Friday’s match in Berlin. "I know the Argentina defenders but I am in great shape at the moment and do not need to be too concerned with them," Klose declared.

"I am not nervous about facing Argentina. I did not play either of the matches against them last year so I am really looking forward to it," said the 28-year-old. "If we put Argentina under pressure for 90 minutes they will make mistakes."

But while Klose is confident of Germany’s chances of eliminating Argentina he admits their strikers are from the top drawer particularly Hernan Crespo. Crespo scored both of Argentina’s goals in the 2-2 friendly draw in Dusseldorf in February last year.

More than one million people will throng the German capital on Friday to watch or just be part of the experience when the host nation face Argentina in the biggest match of the World Cup so far.

Only 72,000 lucky spectators can be in the Olympic Stadium for the eagerly awaited Germany-Argentina…

The 2006 World Series of Poker has officially begun at the Rio All-Suite in Las Vegas.

Everyone’s cashing in on this huge poker event, especially the online poker rooms who spent the last year, millions of money trying to attract players who want to score a free WSOP seat.

It’s the "in" thing now, playing online poker in hopes of turning yourself into an overnight celebrity. And many are claiming the "professional poker player" status because they spend their waking hours in front of the computer profitting from playing in the $1/$2 rooms.

So when these sites offer you the chance of a lifetime to play in the WSOP, you grab it!

You won’t really care what site it is as long as they will pay for your Vegas trip, get you into that Rio poker room, give you a seat at the tables, and maybe kick the old-timers’ arses in the process.

Experience has nothing to do with winning a free seat either.

A person who’s been playing online poker for a week has as much chance as that guy who’s been doing it for 2 years. The chance, as one fellow describes, of winning a WSOP bracelet: "50-50". Either he wins or he doesn’t!

One prominent poker room alone had a Bodog 700 WSOP seats giveaway. Another, InterPoker distributed 100 WSOP seats to its customers. Then…

A World Cup win feels oh soooooo good! Yeah, even better than SEX…

The thrill that comes from winning a  World Cup bet causes the heart to beat at an average rate of 120 beats per minute.

According to the American Heart Association, during orgasm your heart rate ranges from 90 to 145 beats per minute, with an average of 115 beats per minute.

We knew that football fans were passionate about their team, but these results really prove that for some football is better than sex.

When you combine supporting your team with backing them financially, the level of excitement gets even greater.

Look at how Victoria jumped up and down after David Beckham scored on a free kick against Ecuador. She’s screamed soooo loud as if she has reached her climax…   

So yes — winning a World Cup bet is, in fact, better than an orgasm achieved during sex. Those screams you hear after a goal is scored? Mmm… more good times.

Just ask Henrik Gerdin. Gerdin bet 100 pounds at 20-1 on Sweden drawing 2-2 with England in their Group B match.

Henrik Larsson scored a 90th minute equalizer in the June 20 encounter for a full-time score of 2-2, triggering wild celebrations by Swedish fans in the Cologne stadium - and of course, Gerdin.

He won 2,000 pounds ($3,650). Gerdin was literally going crazy. Who wouldn’t? I would have been too. His team scored a late equalizer, he won a huge World Cup bet and his heart rate officially rose…

Roger Clemens is STILL playing professional MLB baseball. How about that.

Yup, you read it, and MLB fans saw Clemens stagger through an inning this early in the brand new MLB season that seemed to last almost as long as Francisco Liriano’s entire career.

STILL he was Roger Clemens. And Roger Clemens is just enough to SELL TICKETS. Roger Clemens STILL is just enough to fill every goddamn seat at the Minute Maid Park. Which was the least a guy making almost $750,000 per trip to the mound could do.

So is Roger Clemens STILL that good? Good enough to still be playing professional MLB baseball? His catcher, Brad Ausmus, has some of the answers to that argument.

‘’He might be as good of a lefty as I’ve ever faced,’’ said Ausmus.

‘’Well, I’ve faced Randy [Johnson], I don’t want to say yet that he’s better than Randy Johnson because Randy has done so much. But his stuff is as good as any lefty I’ve ever seen,’’ he adds.

Clemens may not be the dominating factor he was once was. But to…