One goal was good enough for Italy and Ukraine.

For both Italy and Ukraine, one goal was good enough for a round 3 match at the World Cup.

Yup, you read it, Italy and Ukraine will be facing off at the quarter-finals, joining six other teams in what will be the FIFA World Cup ‘’Elite Eight’’ in Germany.

Italy 1-0 Australia.

For Italy, Francesco Totti’s injury-time penalty couldn’t have been any better. Italy came into their round 2 match with Australia with a ten-man roster and when it was all said and done, one man named Totti was the difference.

Everybody in the arena thought that the Italy - Australia match will be headed for extra-time. Totti had other plans though. Blackburn Rovers defender Lucas Neill brought down Italy’s Fabio Grosso inside the area and Spanish referee Luis Medina Cantalejo pointed to the spot.

Totti was excluded from Italy’s starting 11, well, back when they had a full-man roster. When he was given the opportunity to shine, boy, did he shine the brightest as he struck the ball past Australia’s goalkeeper, Mark Schwarzer.

One goal. Francesco Totti scored. Italy…

A dumb American perpetuating the stereotype of the dumb American.

In the heat of the 2006 FIFA World Cup, a guy from this proud nation just won’t let America take a backseat. After the US soccer team made the news as being forgettable, a US soccer fan landed in the news for being forgetful.

He was a man with a plan: to be in Hanover to watch the World Cup match between Poland and Costa Rica. There’s just one problem: he could not even remember where he was checked in.

It was the day of a bittersweet victory for Poland over Costa Rica. The Poles’ soccer team did not only get one goal but two. Too bad they weren’t advancing. It was a FIFA World Cup Group A match, both teams were already…

Who cares about these new kids coming to the NBA?

The Miami Heat are the 2005-2006 NBA Champions. Oh yeah, they SCREWED the Dallas Mavericks to do it. Goddamn…

So before I go on with my anti-Miami tirade (again), let’s take a look at the future of the NBA and see some of the big names coming out of college who could one day lead their team to THEIR own NBA Championship.

1. Tyrus Thomas

Tyrus Thomas is the epitome of a gifted young talent. He’s got the length, athleticism and potential that any scouts can only dream about. He’s the least ready of the top prospects to contribute right away, but he’s got the most upside of anyone in the draft.

2. LaMarcus Aldridge

Aldridge is one of the few players in this draft who could be a star. His overall skill set at his size still makes him a contender to be the No. 1 pick.

3. Andrea Bargnani

GMs starting to support international scouts’ view that Bargnani might be the best player in the draft. But who has the guts to pull the trigger with the No. 1 pick? Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo, that’s who. They’re THAT…

Blitz the defense. That is probably what Thierry Henry of France will do to Spain.

Well, that is the verdict anyway given by Barcelona star, Xavi, who admits his Spanish teammates are worried about ‘’Hitman’’ Henry’s ability to blitz defenses. And you thought the term, ‘’blitz,’’ can only be attributed to American football.

Hell, I ‘’blitz’’ women every goddamn night.

Xavi said, ‘’We do fear Henry. He is a bomb that can explode at any moment and you must handle him with two or three players to stop him escaping.’’ He also said that teammate, Carlos Puyol, has been handed the key role of being the first in line to snuff out Henry’s raids on the Spanish goal.

Xavi adds, ‘’Puyol is the best defender in the world for me. He’ll be everywhere at once. On Henry, on the ball, everywhere. He is going to make France suffer. With Barca this season, he has stifled every striker he has played against.’’

Hmm… Wishful thinking perhaps?

‘’He is adept at stopping great players like Shevchenko, Inzaghi, Crespo, everyone. And I just know that he will stifle…'’

Just in case you don’t know this Maria Sharapova, she is the tennis sex-pot who earns $18 M a year.

Yup and a significant portion of that doesn’t even come from tennis for crying out loud. How can she get paid THAT much? Well, having that sexy ass appear on numerous endorsements and magazines will MOST CERTAINLY will.

Sharapova was listed by People Magazine as among the 50 most beautiful celebrities in the world.

In June of last year, Ms. Sharapova was listed by Forbes magazine (what’s Forbes have to do with our precious sex fantasy?!?) as the highest-paid female athlete in the world.

And man… Ain’t she a beaut’ to look at? Apparently, this year’s Wimbledon begs to differ.

Wimbledon officials are not going to take it anymore and a new ‘no cleavage’ rule has been put into effect. According to a report in the London Times, numerous competitors have been warned that they need to comply with the tournament’s strict and conservative dress code, or risk being disqualified.

(That means, players like Maria Sharapova will no longer be allowed to wear those low-cut, cute pink tennis dresses.) - Bodog Beat

Aw… Talk about a load of…

Just when you thought you have seen enough screw jobs in sports.

On July 2 at the Araneta Coliseum in the Philippines, Manny Pacquiao, will put his WBC Super Featherweight title on the line against Mexico’s own, Oscar Larios, in front of a Pacquiao worshiping Philippine population that digs everything and anything Pacquiao’s - from a movie and a music CD - to whatever the Pacman endorses - beer, underwear, socks, McDonalds…

Oscar Larios might be a tough fighter indeed but c’mon, this guy was merely handpicked by Pacquiao’s trainer, Freddie Roach, to be nothing more but fodder for the Pacquiao craze. A mere ‘’pellet’’ for the ‘’Pacman,’’ if you will.

Pacman? Gimme’ a break. That’s the most stupid name I heard since those dumbass band names I bastardized right here on OddJack a few months ago.

The Pacquiao Team can say that Larios is a fierce fighter OR maybe even the toughest test Pacquiao is about to take yet but the fact of the matter is, Oscar Larios is merely a handpicked screw-up summoned by Freddie Roach to prepare his Filipino fagot ready to a possible third bout with Erik Morales OR maybe a title match with Juan Manuel Marquez.

Manny Pacquiao is the odds on favorite - fresh from his victory over Mexico’s…

For some reason, Newsweek decided to look the other way and focus the spotlight at the backdrop and named Brad Pitt one of the 15 People Who Make America Great.

Matt Zash is back on the field after being accused of rape back in Duke.

In front of a crowd of 4,700 gathered to watch the Philadelphia Barrage play the Long Island Lizards in a Major League Lacrosse game, Matt Zash made his SILENT return.

To those who are used to seeing him as No.10 in Duke University’s blue and white, he looks odd jogging onto the field in the Long Island Lizards’ bright orange uniform, No.44 on his back, in black socks and black cleats.

It’s a lacrosse uniform, and Zash is back on the field. He’s ready to play and ready to talk. Just a few weeks ago, that didn’t seem possible.

‘’To me, rape is the most hated crime there is, and to be accused of that is completely horrifying,’’ Matt Zash said of the rape accusations.

‘’But nobody wanted to hear the truth. They wanted us to admit something that did not happen, and they wanted to see us pay for it,’’ he adds.

‘’The way the media portrayed this pretty much determined whether we could go to class,’’ he…

Just when Ronaldo got his groove back, probably his best sidekick, Robinho, gets injured.

Yup, and Brazil can’t afford to lose a young gun like Robinho with the unparalleled talent he brings to the 2006 FIFA World Cup in Germany.

On Tuesday, Brazil will be facing what is turning out to be the 2006 FIFA World Cup’s Cinderella team, Ghana, and Robinho, as of press time, is still doubtful for the second round face-off.

‘’We’ll wait for the results of this before making any decision,'’ said Brazil team doctor, Jose Luis Runco.

Brazil striker Robinho is doubtful for Tuesday’s World Cup second round match with Ghana, team doctor Jose Luis Runco said on Sunday. Robinho ended training early on Saturday after suffering a twinge in his right thigh.

The player, whose speed and trickery gave Brazil a new dimension in a 4-1 win over Japan in their final group game on Thursday, was seen to clutch his thigh during shooting practice. Robinho missed practice on Sunday. Instead he…

Yup, you read it, and the Portugal team is certainly motivated because of it.

When Portugal went toe-to-toe against Mexico, Ricardo La Volpe saw his 10-man Mexico side stutter and stumble their way into the last 16 after suffering a 2-1 defeat to Portugal in Gelsenkirchen.

Maybe all Mexico brought to that game were a group of skanky bitches that looked like a goddamn burrito or something.

Egad. Two goals down to Maniche and Simao Sabrosa (pen), they fought back through Jose Fonseca - but Omar Bravo missed a penalty and then Luis Perez was sent off. The normally - vociferous Mexican supporters were remarkably quiet given that rivals Angola were running Iran close.

Against Holland, it wasn’t a pretty victory, but a win is STILL a win.

Portugal scored the game’s only goal, and things got brutal from there: Cleats bashed into thighs and shoulders, heads butted and elbows flew. Never had more yellow cards been pulled in a World Cup match.

Portugal may have survived with a 1-0 victory Sunday over the…