Good news to all you cross-dressers who have always wanted to be Cher!

No you can’t have her plastic surgeon’s number. But here’s the next best thing. The gay-worshipped diva is holding a huge global garage sale of over 800 items, from stage costumes to gem encrusted jewelry, works of art, furniture and even a Hummer that is expected to fetch around $1 million.

Guess this is a sign that she has retired for real.

According to one report, Cher is getting rid of her gothic past and redecorating her Malibu home to adapt a Moroccan-Tibethan theme. Now her garbage will be a transvestite’s treasure find.

Some of her famous outfits went under the hammer at Sotheby’s this week.

Belongings auctioned included paintings, jewellery, even her £16,000 English-made bed, dating back to 1865, the red velvet gown she wore on the Cher Show in 1975 as well as a Bob Mackie floral beaded gown worn in 1972.

Now the rest of her garbage, erm, stuff will be dispatched for the garage sale to take place at the Beverly Hilton next…

Barry Bonds hit his 730th career homer Monday, a tying two-run shot in the eighth inning against the Cincinnati Reds.

Yep, apparently, the guy’s STILL hanging on despite all the ‘’steroid issues’’ surrounding the San Francisco Giants slugger. Of course, the new, mellower Barry Bonds was needling Shea Hillenbrand in Chicago about swinging at bad pitches and not attacking strikes, telling the first baseman, ‘’Don’t you know you’ve got the best hitter in the game batting behind you?’’

Hmm… Look Barry, maybe the guy just doesn’t take steroids… THAT much. Ya’ think?

Well, at least now, Barry Bonds has the swing to support his swagger. Over the last two weeks, he has been the No.25 of old, and the San Francisco Giants could not be happier. As Hillenbrand said after he and Bonds commandeered Monday night’s 5-4, 10-inning victory over the Cincinnati Reds, ‘’Barry is so lethal right now.’’

Wow. After getting dissed by Bonds, that’s so fucking pathetic for Hillenbrand to…

After the New England Patriots management gave Deion Branch a Friday deadline, it seems he will stay as a Patriot.

I told ya’ll he’ll come back with his tail tucked in between his legs. He he… Holdout wide receiver Deion Branch was still a member of the New England Patriots when the team-imposed deadline for him to seek a trade passed.

Last Aug. 25, the New England Patriots gave their best wide receiver, yep we’re talking about Deion Branch here, permission to negotiate a contract with other teams and seek a trade until 4 pm on Sept. 1. New England would have had to work out a trade to its satisfaction.

At 4:02 pm, Friday, the Patriots issued a statement saying, ‘No trade has been consummated. Deion Branch remains under contract to the New England Patriots.’

Ouch.

And yes, you can bet your ass that one Deion Branch was ”unhappy.” He was so PISSED that the guy filed two grievances, seeking to arbitrate claims that the New England Patriots failed to negotiate a contract extension in good faith and broke a verbal contract to Branch for ”fair and reasonable” compensation after…

Well, at least one of them is really a ”Titan” as far as pure talent is concerned.

Coming to the brand new NFL Football season, the Tennessee Titans see themselves in a dilemma of sorts. As the rest of NFL Football prepares for the brand new season, already having listed who will start where, when and how, the Titans really don’t have the same privilege.

”Our quarterback situation,” said Tennessee Titans head coach Jeff Fisher, ”is pretty much up in the air.”

Yep, apparently, DAYS AWAY from the brand new NFL Football season, these morons don’t know who’ll they start at QB. For all ya’ll wondering, Steve McNair left to join Ray Lewis and the Baltimore Ravens, leaving the Titans in shambles.

Well, you can’t really call the Titans in disarray… After all, they do have a Vince Young to choose, as well as a veteran like Kerry Collins. But I’m sure, not many has heard about this Billy Volek.

Well, Volek, whose resume includes 10 starts and who was scheduled to supplant the departed Steve McNair atop the depth chart, hasn’t said much publicly about his pending demotion. But he may turn up the heat in an effort to force his departure. And there are reasons, beyond his unhappiness, for the…

Yep, it was not a crocodile, or a wild snake, or a lion.

It was a fish. Yep, the famous ”Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin, who became famous for his insane antics with wild animals, was killed by a goddamn stingray on the Great Barrier Reef.

”It isn’t a lion or tiger or big monster predator. It was a fish, but it’s no less tragic,” said Corwin, speaking from Nome, Alaska, where he’s filming a segment on polar bears, one of the deadliest predators on Earth.

I guess they would have to put stingrays in that category now eh?

Irwin was filming a new series, ”Ocean’s Deadliest,” his 8-year-old daughter’s upcoming TV program, when he disrupted the stingray and it went on the defensive, goring his heart with the poisonous barb on its tail. The attack was caught on tape which has been turned over to police.

How’s that for ”World’s Most Amazing Videos” huh?

”The footage shows him swimming in the water, the ray stopped and turned and that was it,” boat owner Peter West told The Australian newspaper.

”There was no blood in the water, it was not that obvious, something happened with this animal that made it rear and he was at the wrong position at the…”

There are poker freerolls and there are poker freerolls.

I’ve never been one to pass up on online freerolls. And I’m not alone. Another proof of how huge online poker has become is the popularity of tournaments held in many Internet poker rooms.

People are willing to sign-up and deposit money into their online poker accounts so they could play real games, with real payouts. Plus if you’re that good (or lucky) you may even find yourself seated in a major poker tournament.

Let’s go back to freerolls. I learn about many freeroll happenings through this poker forum that I’m subscribed to. Nice folks just keep sending me tips on where to play poker for free and try my hand at winning some, so I’m always more than happy to oblige.

PokerLessons, an online poker tutorial site for players relatively new to the game, has its own…

NCAA College Football hysteria is finally here and with that said, I’ll let you in where to watch.

Because as much as you’d like to catch all them NCAA College Football games, you just can’t catch them all. Besides, you’re starting to become one big blob of milk already with you sitting your ass in front of the TV 24/7.

Jeez man… Live a little.

Here are just some of the best teams and the best conferences one would want to watch in this NCAA College Football season.

Like what I told ya’ll before, the Big 12 Conference STILL is the premiere conference in NCAA College Football. Well, until some team from, say, the ACC, goes on and win a BCS Championship. But until then, the Big 12 Conference is where it’s at and here, it’s still all about the defending BCS Champions, Texas Longhorns.

However, coach Bill Callahan has the Nebraska Huskers believing that they have what it takes to dethrone the Longhorns, not only in the Big 12, but for the…

Perhaps nobody expected that a 112th-ranked tennis player named Benjamin Becker will be the hatchet man to Andre Agassi’s career.

Nobody in the arena saw it coming, nobody from the elite pool of tennis legends saw it coming, nobody from the top tennis athletes of today saw it coming, heck, not even Andre Agassi’s wife, Steffi Graf, saw it coming.

Perhaps, only Andre Agassi knew it. Yep, him, his tired legs, and his aching back.

Crouched alone in the silence of the locker room, a pro tennis player no more, a red-eyed Andre Agassi twisted his torso in an attempt to conquer the seemingly mundane task of pulling a white shirt over his head.

Never more than at that moment did Agassi seem so vulnerable, looking far older than his 36 years, wrestling not simply with his bad back but also with two overwhelming and conflicting emotions.

There was the concrete sense of departure, of knowing his career came to an end with a 7-5, 6-7 (4), 6-4, 7-5 loss to 112th-ranked Benjamin Becker in the third round at the 2006 United States Open.

Oh yes, there’s also the sense of fulfillment and excitement, now that…