Friendly Reminders This Fourth of July
Do you wanna keep those hands after these Fourth of July festivities?
If you do, and I know you lesbians sure want to keep them fingers, here are just some friendly reminders to keep in mind.
After all, a FINGER-LESS lesbian is like baseball without a bat, or tennis without balls, or a man without a…
Well, you get my drift…
- Never allow young children to play with fireworks, including sparklers.
- Teach children that fireworks are not toys, and be sure to explain to them the danger of explosives.
Read the warnings and follow the instructions. - Never try to re-light fireworks that have not fully functioned.
- Keep a bucket of water handy in case of a malfunction or fire.
- Only light fireworks on a smooth, flat surface away from the house, dry leaves and flammable materials.
- Never experiment or attempt to make your own fireworks.
- Light one firework at a time.
- Store fireworks in a cool, dry place.
- Properly dispose of fireworks.
In case someone is burned by fireworks
- Elevate wounded areas to reduce swelling and to stimulate the healing process.
- Never burst blisters, which may cause infection because they act as natural dressings that help heal wounds. Rather, allow blisters to open naturally, and then apply antibiotic creams.
- Avoid sun exposure, which enhances scarring, while burns are healing or blisters are present.
- After the wounds have healed, always wear maximum sun-block protection over scars during sun exposure to minimize skin damage.
- Once blisters disappear, use over-the-counter creams high in aloe, which are very soothing. The creams can also be used for first-degree burns such as sunburns.
- Major burns require a specialist’s care, because often they result in acute burns that penetrate various skin layers, damaging tendons and muscles.
There you go, things you must remember this Fourth of July. Partying, having fun and all that is cool and all but ending up like one goddamn freak show is definitely not cool. For those of you who’ll just stay home this Fourth of July, there’s Bodog for some online betting action at home.
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