Literally, she swallowed her cell phone while she and her boyfriend were having a fight. He says she did it to hide something. She says he made her do it out of jealousy.

True, women have swallowed larger things. But this one is like a long pass with no NFL betting strategy. If she was hiding anything, couldn’t she simply have stepped on the friggin’ phone? Suddenly, Naomi Campbell’s cell phone flailing isn’t so far-fetched.

It was in December last year, as the Christmas spirit inspired enemies to kiss and make up, when the two-year couple got into a drunken fight one night. Before the night ended, they had taken Deep Throat to a cellular level.

The girlfriend, Melinda Abell, 25, provided the police with a statement before rushing to the ER, whereupon the cell phone was unearthed from her throat. The boyfriend, Marlon Brando Gill, 24, was then charged with first-degree assault for shoving the cell phone down his girlfriend’s throat.

Gill’s defense insists that Abell swallowed the phone on purpose, so her boyfriend would not see whom she’d been calling. In a twist that would’ve rivalled NFL betting strategy, Abell testified this week, on the first day of trial, to practically retract her earlier statement.

She testified on Tuesday that she had no recollection of how the cell phone ended up in her throat, or even making a statement to the police. She said she had too much to drink that night.

We sure hope she did, considering what she had to wash down with her liquor.

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