No, R. Kelly’s anything but gay. (Hello? Remember his child pornography case?) He did make noise with an R&B opera number called Trapped in the Closet. It was up for Best Male Single at the 20th Soul Train Music Awards held on Saturday, March 4th.

Like Brokeback Mountain, R. Kelly came into the awards show on the same weekend with the most number of nominations, and came away brokenhearted. He led with three noms, and lost all.

But R. Kelly enjoyed sweet consolation. He was the recipient of the Stevie Wonder Lifetime Achievement Award, presented to him by Stevie himself.

The night’s big winners were Mariah Carey and John Legend, hardly an upset after a similar buzz at the 2006 Grammys eclipsed only by U2. Fortunately for them, U2’s music does not qualify as soul.

Mariah won Best Female R&B/Soul Album for The Emancipation of Mimi and Best Female Single for We Belong Together. (Somewhere in that second award is a pun.)

Legend won Best Male R&B/Soul Album for Get Lifted and Best Male Single for Ordinary People. Also, he garnered the Sammy Davis Jr. Award for Entertainer of the Year.

Jamie Foxx, with chart-topping album Unpredictable, earned the Quincy Jones Lifetime Achievement Award – presented by, guess who, Quincy himself. There has got to be something eerie about achievement awards named after those who are still living.

Quincy also bestowed the Quincy Jones Outstanding Career Achievement Award to Destiny’s Child, which further won Best R&B/Soul Single for a Group, Band or Duo for Cater 2 U.

The Black Eyed Peas bagged Best R&B Soul Album Group, Band or Duo for Monkey Business. Kanye West picked up the Michael Jackson Award for Best R&B/Soul/Rap Music Video for Gold Digger.

The folks at Soul Train have got to rethink that last award. Who’d want to be a Michael Jackson awardee these days?

Vivica Fox and Tyrese Gibson hosted. Which would’ve probably been more worthwhile than watching a cowardly Jon Stewart be as funny as grandmas.