If you were stuck on the world’s greatest beach with the world’s greatest bitch, is that good or bad?

Tricky. You’ll need help from Dr. Beach. Doctor who? No, not Dr. Who. There’s him, and Dr. Seuss, and Dr. Dre. Now meet Dr. Beach.

International beach expert Stephen Leatherman isn’t nicknamed Dr. Beach for nothing. Director of Florida International University’s Laboratory for Coastal Research, he has compiled an annual top ten list of America’s Best Beaches for 16 years now. In the coolness meter, he’s the doc with the best excuse to ‘examine’ tanned babes in skimpy Roxy Girls bikinis.

More amusing is that only either Hawaii or Florida has topped this Best Beach list since 1991. Hawaii, which the good doctor dubs “our tropical paradise for America”, has won 11 times while Florida is a distant second at 5 times. Note, Californians, that your beloved state is never tops on Dr. Beach’s list of great beaches.

2006 is no different: a Maui beach named Fleming Beach Park is No. 1 on the list. You get to have calendaresque views of the Pacific Ocean and Molokai Island whilst you propose to your b!tch on this mile-long, crescent-shaped, white sand beach. Not surprisingly, seven other Hawaii beaches made it to the 2006 top ten, and two Florida beaches.

Leatherman named Fort De Soto Park’s north beach in Florida as Best Beach in 2005. Mauna Kea Beach won in 2000, and Kapalua Bay Beach in 1991.

So, Stephen, what are America’s top ten worst beaches? The dudes at Organicgardening.com say that Los Angeles in 2005 had 55 beaches close down a total of 2,450 times due to bacterial contamination in beach water. Ugh… ugly.

America’s Top Ten Best Beaches in 2006 (from Dr. Beach)

1- Fleming Beach Park in Maui
2- Caladesi Island State Park in Dunedin, Florida
3- Ocracoke Island in North Carolina
4- Coopers Beach in Southampton, New York (on Long Island)
5- Hanalei Beach in Kauai
6- Main Beach in New York (also in the Hamptons)
7- Coast Guard Beach on Cape Cod, Massachussets
8- Coronado Beach in California
9- Hamoa Beach in Maui
10- Barefoot Beach Park in Bonita Springs, Florida

[When it comes to sports betting odds, NINE.com is like the online betting counterpart of America’s best beaches. You bet on the best figures around but keep your eyes open for the perfect 10 …waiting to score.]