And by simply reading that alone, you just know these Trojans will be trying to salvage their disappointing season by winning the Rose Bowl.

On January 1 in Pasadena, Californians will be rocking as they try to will the USC Trojans to end what has been a rather disappointing campaign in the 2007 NCAA college football season on a high note by winning the 2008 Rose Bowl game over the Illinois Fighting Illini.

You see, before the season began, the USC Trojans were the heavy favorites to win it all, with quarterback John David Booty winning the Heisman. After 14 weeks of college football, John David Booty is nowhere near the top four Heisman candidates and the Trojans, nowhere near the BCS national championship game.

STILL, they managed to get to the Rose Bowl to go up against Illinois. However, if these Trojans think that the Illinois Fighting Illini will just give ‘em the red carpet for USC to end their season with the Rose Bowl championship, they have another thing coming.

The Illinois Fighting Illini finished the season 9-3 overall, and second in the Big Ten at 7-2. Illinois had key wins over then No.5 Wisconsin and in Columbus against No.1 Ohio State Buckeyes, yes the same team that will be playing for the…

It’s 23 months in jail for the former Atlanta Falcons quarterback. And officially, his road back to a football field begins.

Well, that is if he still has plans to make a comeback anyway. His Atlanta Falcons desperately need him back too considering the way those guys just keep on fucking up this 2007-08 NFL football season and if Vick still plans to put a Falcons football uniform on when this episode is over, that still doesn’t guarantee Atlanta of finally putting up one winning record.

Pathetic huh? Well, first thing’s first, Michael Vick was finally sentenced. He was sentenced to 23 months in jail for running a ‘’cruel and inhumane'’ dogfighting ring and lying about it. Ironically, Vick should be thankful for those 23 months in prison since he could’ve been sentenced for up to five years. Ouch.

The 27-year-old NFL player acknowledged using ‘’poor judgment'’ and added, ‘’I'm willing to deal with the consequences and accept responsibility for my actions.'’

Although there is no parole in the federal system, rules governing time off for good behavior could reduce Vick’s prison stay by about three months, resulting in a summer 2009 release.

So, if Vick gets his ass out of jail by then, can he still return to the…

Yep, there was a time in Detroit when you know the Pistons will win the moment Darko Milicic enters the game.

And mind you, that doesn’t tell anything whatsoever about Darko’s ‘’basketball skills,'’ if he has any. Because every single time Darko is summoned from the bench, the Detroit Pistons already have the game won, making the once overall No.2 draft pick, nothing more but a stupid human victory cigar. He he…

In this 2007-08 NBA basketball season, Darko Milicic is now playing for his third team since being evicted from Detroit. On Tuesday, Darko will try to help his Memphis Grizzlies against the very team that virtually made a fool out of him at the start of his career, the Pistons.

He he… Good God almighty, Darko Milicic is off to a beating. He he… Yeah, sure, the guy has successfully put up impressive numbers since leaving Detroit. I guess you can almost say that Darko has become one of the ‘’better'’ big man in the NBA. But against a Pistons frontcourt of Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess on Tuesday, jeez… this fool wouldn’t even stand a chance.

Speaking of the Pistons frontcourt, Rasheed Wallace was asked what he thinks about the idea of…

We saw this one coming a mile away.

After claiming that his new McLaren team favors his rookie teammate more than himself, and after missing a third straight title to rival Kimi Raikkonen and Ferrari, Fernando Alonso returns to Renault where he became the youngest driver in F1 history to become world champion.

Hey, I can’t blame the guy, after all that shit that has happened within the McLaren-Mercedes camp, not to mention the scandals slapped on the team after they were accused of stealing some sensitive Ferrari designs, I’d leave too. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t like this fag one bit but leaving McLaren to make a comeback with Renault is definitely a good career move.

‘’I am delighted to be returning to Renault,'’ Fernando Alonso said in a statement. ‘’This is the team where I grew up as a driver in Formula One. Now it is time for us to begin a new chapter together.'’

And as expected, Renault big boss Flavio Briatore is happy that his boy toy is back to be with him again. Although I’m not sure how many times these sick fucks spoon in one F1 season.

‘’Fernando and Nelsinho will form one of the most exciting driver lineups of 2008,'’ Flavio Briatore said. ‘’We are delighted to be welcoming Fernando back home to the team where he enjoyed his greatest success. His abilities as a driver and a team leader are well known, and we look forward to forging another…'’

As if THAT would make a difference…

After 13 weeks into the 2007-08 NFL football season, the New Orleans Saints are nowhere close to where they were during that ‘’Cinderella run'’ that got them all the way to the NFC Conference finals last season.

With a dismal 5-7 stand in this year’s campaign, you can almost sense that people from New Orleans, (as sick as this may sound…) are probably just hoping for the next hurricane that might bring that fire back to their beloved New Orleans Saints and maybe, just maybe, they could start winning some games.

The last time these struggling Saints were on the field, they virtually threw their hopes for a playoff berth away in one moronic play. Against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Saints head coach Sean Payton attempted something he likes to call, ‘’the Superdome Special,'’ afterwards, even Payton SHOULD agree that there was nothing special about that.

In the dying minutes of the game, with the New Orleans Saints up 23-20 over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Saints attempted a reverse that blew up in their faces as Reggie Bush pitched wildly to Devery Henderson. The loose ball was recovered by Tampa Bay.

That mishap let Buccaneers backup quarterback Luke McCown to drive Tampa Bay for the go ahead touchdown, taking a 27-23 lead with 17 seconds left. Shit. What the fuck…

And probably to make us remember about the heavyweights too.

Wladimir Klitschko, the International Boxing Federation (IBF) heavyweight champion and Sultan Ibragimov, the World Boxing Organization (WBO) heavyweight champion are set to unify, somewhat, the titles both Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield fought for way back in 1999.

Yep, it’s on next year, February 23, at Madison Square Garden as Wladimir Klitschko and Sultan Ibragimov faces off in what would be one of the rare heavyweight fights probably worth watching for.

Wladimir Klitschko, 49-3 44 KOs and Sultan Ibragimov, 22-0-1 with 17 KOs will clash in a 12-round heavyweight title unification bout in what will probably be a historic night of boxing that is presented by K2 Promotions and Seminole Warriors Boxing, televised live on HBO World Championship Boxing.

Wladimir Klitschko said, ‘’I'm very happy that after intensive negotiations we have finally reached a deal, I’m really looking forward to this unification bout. This is what boxing fans around the world want to see.'’

Now I don’t know about that bit about boxing fans around the world wanting to see two overweight boxers slug it out but at least we can still expect this fight to quench our thirst of heavyweight boxing since…

Yes, and to fuck them up HARD too…

Perhaps this Monday morning was the best feeling these retards from Miami felt the past few weeks since we started virtually dogging them around this 2007-08 NBA basketball season.

Why? Well, for one, the Miami Heat, yes, that team composed of old farts, a head coach who thinks he runs the Mafia and one silly little bastard who just can’t seem to spell his first name right, finally won one.

100-94 was the final tally as the struggling Miami Heat won their fifth game of the season after beating the Los Angeles Clippers. Dwyane Wade, aside from the fact that he still has no fucking clue where should he jam that Y on his stupid name, scored a game-high 35 points after going to the foul line in every single minute of the contest.

The win, (and it doesn’t come by often for Miami these days… IN ANY SPORT…) ended Miami’s five-game losing streak, finally giving them their first road win in nearly a fucking month.

And get this, Wade is actually comparing this win over the Los Angeles Clippers to his very first experience fucking a woman. How sick is that?

Wade, who has scored 30-plus points in four of the past nine games, said he told head…

Yep, Anthony Smith opened his mouth and the Patriots shut it up for him in emphatic fashion.

After 14 weeks into the 2007-08 NFL football season, the New England Patriots remain perfect after beating the Pittsburgh Steelers, 34-13. This could’ve been a much better game than this one-sided affair and that’s all thanks to Steelers safety Anthony Smith, who opened his mouth and guaranteed a win over the Patriots like a dumb jackass.

If there’s one cardinal rule we learned this NFL season, it’s to NOT, by any means, irritate the New England Patriots. Anthony Smith made that mistake and look what happened, Tom Brady dropped TWO touchdowns on him, letting the unfortunate Steelers safety look like some moron trying to play football.

‘’He basically called us out,'’ New England Patriots wide receiver Jabar Gaffney said. Gaffney caught one of two touchdowns on which Tom Brady and the rest of the Pats simply went after Smith like sharks converging on chum. ‘’He’s young. He’ll learn.'’

Hell, the Patriots were solely focused on torching Smith in this game that they forgot all about their running backs. ‘’It was obvious that they didn’t care about running the ball. They were in attack mode all the way,'’ Pittsburgh Steelers corner Ike Taylor said.

And perhaps saying that ‘’they were on attack mode'’ won’t…

Yep, as ya’ll know by now, the Pats are still perfect.

After THIRTEEN WEEKS into the 2007-08 NFL football season, New England is still in pursuit of the perfection set by the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

Last week, they were able to deny the Baltimore Ravens of becoming the first ever team to deal them their first loss and boy, did those Ravens came THAT close from accomplishing just that.

Hell, the Ravens were holding a 24-20 lead over the New England Patriots with just two more minutes to go. Unfortunately for them, Tom Brady just refuses to lose this year, as he came up with the game-winning 8-yard touchdown pass to Jabar Gaffney with only 44 seconds left to play to give the Pats the 27-24 lead and ultimately, their 12th straight win of the season.

This Sunday, the very team many people are proclaiming to be the one to stop New England of its pursuit of perfection visits Foxboro as the Pittsburgh Steelers collide with the Pats in a game between the No.1 defense and the No.1 offense of the NFL.

As good as the Pats are this season offensively, (heck… these guys are scoring over…)

You have to admit, that’s catchy, even for somebody who is unfortunate enough to live in Miami.

The Fish are 0-12 this 2007-08 NFL football season. Yes, the same franchise that recorded the only undefeated season in the NFL back in 1972, is yet to taste a win this year. And while the New England Patriots continue their bid to match that undefeated mark in 1972, Miami is in danger of finishing the season looking like retards.

Don Shula, the coach who engineered that undefeated run in ‘72, is dumbfounded on whether the Miami Dolphins should keep current head coach Cam Cameron or not. But for what it’s worth, he does have some advice for the guy.

‘’Cam has to entrust what he wants to do offensively with someone else,”’ Don Shula told emcee Jim Mandich and an audience at the Miami Dolphins Touchdown Club luncheon last Tuesday.

‘’He’s a great offensive coach and great play-caller.'’

But, Don Shula said, ‘’In your preparation, if you’re a play-caller, you have to be thinking all offense to get ready for what’s going to happen. If you’re the…'’