Yep, just shut the fuck up.

As another war heats up right there on the poker table, Phil Gordon still looks like he’s ready to hump a new gay lover. No seriously… Phil Gordon is gay and he’ll still be gay no matter how many WSOP bracelets this fag wins.

Now, in a rather serious note, the 2007 World Series of Poker is finally here. Yep, it’s that time of the year when the top poker players of the world get up from their asses, put on a shirt, and pretend to be a ‘’professional'’ athlete.

Of course, what these guys do when they’re not gambling with a deck of cards is still in question. (Although we all know Phil Gordon likes to hump little boys…)

So, how do you win big poker tournaments like this? What do you have to do to win that WSOP bracelet and slap it on your wrists pretending it’s as valuable as, say… a Super Bowl championship ring?

Well, you can keep your mouth shut. That always works.

Keeping your mouth shut in a poker table always works. Of course, you DO NOT WANT to berate the dealer and call him names like ‘’retard'’ or ‘’when God had to poo, He came up with you.'’ If you get a bad hand, it’s not the dealer’s fault. (Hopefully anyway…) Leave the dealer alone or the dealer just might start doing it on purpose just to piss you off.

DO NOT DISCUSS an ongoing hand. Players on a poker table are experts in watching other players’ reactions upon receiving their hands. By keeping your mouth shut, you won’t be giving these psychos any hints whatsoever. This normally happens when they receive their hands and again on the flop.

Of course, this one is obvious, do not tell ANYBODY what your hand is. When you tell people your hand and begin showing it around while there are still players who are about to act, you just know somebody is about to slap you in the head one way or another.

Why don’t you just give them your wallet while you’re at it?

Who will win the 2007 World Series of Poker? Bodog has the odds.

Joe Hachem 4/1

Chris Moneymaker 8/1

Doyle Brunson 5/1

Phil Helmuth 7/2

Chris Ferguson 5/1

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2007 World Series of Poker WSOP Tournament