“The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

Thus was quoted televangelist Pat Robertson as saying, in regard to a recent conversation he had with God, in which the Absolute Supreme Being sounded off about an upcoming massacre albeit not categorically. Pat went public with it Tuesday, declaring God informed him of a mass killing by way of a terrorist attack on the United States in 2007.

Verily, in the 1400s, it was Joan of Arc who was a messenger of God in sparing the French people of mass murder.

Come the 2000s, it is Pat of The 700 Club: televangelist, Republican, founder of the Christian Coalition and Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN), among others, and a messenger of God for the American people.

How tight are Pat and God, really, that they should be in speaking terms? Is this the first time God communicated with man in care of Pat to deliver an admonitory memo? Has Pat ever misread his pal God before, or has he always been spot-on that we should all pack our bags and move to Sweden? Will Pat be excellent in sports handicapping, and ought he be a bettor or the bet in Bodog betting propositions?

Marion Gordon ‘Pat’ Robertson is a Southern Baptist. He opposes abortion and gay rights. He was not always a televangelist: he held an authentic position in church when, in 1961, he was ordained as a minister of the Southern Baptist Convention. Pat resigned as minister and gave up his official church post upon seeking in 1987 the Republican Party nomination for president of the United States. He lost his bid to then-incumbent vice president, George H. W. Bush.

During his campaign, Pat displayed his flair for the celebrity-madeover aspect of Christianity when he opposed being tagged a ‘televangelist‘, a label he would have shared at the time with Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker, whose names were tainted by religious scandal. As he had insited then, Pat prefers to be called a ‘religious broadcaster‘.

The 700 Club, the CBN flagship news-talk show of which Pat is the host, is often in hot water for advertising that it has healed its viewers not only spiritually but of everything from migraine to malaria. It faced another controversy when Pat endorsed an energy drink on the show, which he claimed gave him the strength to leg-press 2,000 lbs. No exercise machine existed then that could support 2,000 lbs. and back another of Pat’s outrageous claims.

Pat has whipped out numerous fearless forecasts cum messages from the Holy Father as a televangelist. In this, his latest one, he revealed God told him at a recent prayer retreat that an attack on the US will transpire sometime after September, devastating major cities and possibly millions of people.

The US, Pat said God added, is merely feigning friendship with Israel while US policies egg this nation towards “national suicide”. Relatedly, in January 2006, he suggested then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had a stroke as punishment from the Omnipotent for ceding Israeli land to the Palestinians.

In 2005, Pat prognosticated Bush would be collecting victories in his second term as president, such as the approval of Bush’s Social Security initiatives as well as the nomination of conservative judges to federal courts. In reality, Bush’s Social Security reforms were delayed although he did nominate John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court.

In 2004, Pat foretold Bush would enjoy an easy victory towards re-election. Back on Earth, Democratic Senator John Kerry lost to Bush by a hair, a mere 51% of votes.

“I have a relatively good track record,” Pat said this week of his verbal missives from The Man Upstairs. “Sometimes I miss.”

[Bodog Online Sportsbooks serves the daily bread on online sports betting lines and odds, including Internet betting propositions.]