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Is anywhere more fitting than Las Vegas to see something hard to believe?

Las Vegas entertainment may have yet to build New Yorker David Blaine his eponymous theater but The Mirage isn’t still home to Siegfried & Roy for nothing. From Penn & Teller to David Copperfield, Las Vegas magic shows offer comedy, illusions, and tricks you can take your kids to see. Forget strip poker girls, these are affordable Las Vegas deals and much of your moolah won’t make a disappearing act.

Las Vegas Magic Shows

Steve Wyrick Real Magic at Aladdin; Nathan Burton Comedy Magic at Aladdin; World’s Greatest Magic Show at Greek Isles; The Mac King Comedy Magic Show at Harrah’s; David Copperfield at MGM Grand.

Monte Carlo, Lance Burton: Master Magician, Lance Burton Theatre. Two-time Magician of the Year by the Academy of Magical Arts, Lance Burton has performed for Queen Elizabeth and President Ronald Reagan. He performed a record nine years with the longest-running Folies Bergere before Monte Carlo inked with him the longest contract ever given to any Las Vegas entertainer. Named Entertainment Today’s #1 family magic act, his show celebrates its tenth year with a new illusion, Solid Gold Lady, which makes use of $10 million in gold.

Orleans, Magic of Rick Thomas, Orleans Showroom. A long-time Las Vegas regular at both Tropicana and Stardust, Rick Thomas has been named Magician of the Year by the Academy of Magical Arts, and Stage Magician of the Year by the World Magic Awards. Royal white and orange Bengal tigers, staples of his successful afternoon show, are sheltered on a two-acre habitat adjacent to his…

Las Vegas abounds with teacher-student scenarios, many with spanking involved.

However, if your kind of playtime involves betting, at least learn the games before throwing yourself at the tables. Off-Strip or on, numerous Las Vegas hotel casinos offer free blackjack, craps, roulette, and poker lessons, among others. Pole dancing and strip poker lessons, too, but we’ve reserved those for another time.

Las Vegas casinos with gambling & poker lessons

Barbary Coast lessons: craps. Master the betting strategies and then show off at the four craps tables of the quaint, 30,000 sqft casino. With the money you’ve won, feast like royalty at the swanky Drai’s restaurant, by celebrity restaurateur Victor Drai.

Circus Circus lessons: poker, blackjack, craps, roulette. Expect no child’s play at some 75 gaming tables in three separate casinos, at a cumulative 107,500 sqft. Hone bluffing at 9 smoke-free poker tables, mostly low-limit, with a free mini-buffet nightly.

Excalibur lessons: poker, blackjack, craps, roulette. The well-attended card room has 20 smoke-free poker tables. Offering daily lessons, it sports a friendly vibe suited to poker beginners. The 100,000 sqft casino has 83 gaming tables where to check your talents.

Gold Coast lessons: craps. Most frequented for its bingo room, the 120,000 sqft casino has gaming tables perfect for testing the waters. Spend winnings at the…

In a time of extreme makeovers as in The Swan or surgery-free makeovers as in Oprah, even casino hotels tend to overuse the term.

A bit of facade renovation here, casino relocation there, and they are screaming bloody makeover. This isn’t the case with Golden Nugget Hotel and Casino. The next time you visit, you will hardly recognize the insides of this historic landmark on Fremont Street in downtown Las Vegas.

New owner Landry’s Restaurants, Inc. spent close to $300 million for the purchase of Golden Nugget Las Vegas as well as Laughlin, and has invested another $100 million in upgrades and additions so far. Where did all the money go? Changes to the properties’ every facility or amenity you can name. Were they worth it?

“The renovation of the property is the largest and most dramatic for the Golden Nugget in more than 20 years,” says Tilman Fertitta, Landry’s chairman, president, and CEO, of the vintage Las Vegas casino hotel that celebrated its 60th Diamond Jubilee Anniversary in August 2006.

At Golden Nugget in Las Vegas, it all begins at the expanded new swimming pool. The year-round outdoor pool boasts a live shark aquarium, where you can ride through a three-story tube slide and plunge into the 200,000-gallon shark tank. Christened as The Tank, the remodeled pool has new cabanas and new…

Caesars Palace Las Vegas is a name attached to a long list of celebrities, including Roman statues.

It is such a household name that even I have heard while growing up, before I knew about Las Vegas. The reason is arguably that Caesars Palace Hotel and Casino is an A-list celebrity magnet. Nowadays, that would be a sure reference to Céline Dion.

The hotel’s 4,000-seat Colosseum, a replica of the one from Ancient Rome, was built specifically for her Las Vegas show, Céline Dion: A New Day, and is the venue of another big-named show, The Red Piano with Elton John.

Before Dion, the likes of Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland, George Burns, Cher, David Copperfield, Julio Iglesias, and Liberace have performed at Caesars Palace. In the 1980s, it was a boxing hotspot that hosted the fights of Sugar Ray Leonard, Thomas Hearns, Marvin Hagler, and of course, Mike Tyson. Heavyweight champ Joe Louis worked here as a greeter until his death in 1981.

Dion’s show is one of the most expensive in Sin City (tickets as high as $200) yet a constant sellout. But Caesars Palace hosts the free Las Vegas shows Fall of Atlantis and Festival Fountain, and certainly you get what you pay for. Caesars’ infamous water fountain was the one Evel Knievel tried to jump over on his…

Paris Las Vegas is better off that Paris Hilton lent it her name but took her sex to Bellagio.

People come to Paris Las Vegas Hotel & Casino expecting to see a mini City of Paris, but the word I am thinking is diorama. It isn’t like a Chinatown or Little Korea that has the cultural feel of the place. It is like someone peered down into Paris, picked out stuff — some mimes here, a boulangerie there — and put them altogether in a box; or like they put their favorite Paris pictures together in a collage.

All the requisite Parisian landmarks are here, and as many French words and characters as imaginable, that anyone who’s seen the French capital will repeatedly point and nod. Real-life Parisians, not so, but that’s like thinking native New Yorkers actually love New York-New York casino hotel. Ironically, my photos in front of its mock Eiffel Tower turned out better than those taken at the real Eiffel Tower.

The half-scale, 540 ft tall replica Eiffel Tower anchors Paris Las Vegas in many ways. It leads a host of obsessively itemized replicas, good news for Francophiles, that also includes: the neon-lit Montgolfier balloon, with which it takes a share of Las Vegas sky, 2/3-scale Arc de Triomphe, Paris Opera House, La Fontaine des Mers, Hotel de Ville, and the Louvre, all Las Vegas free attractions perfect for posting on Flickr.

Just as themed is Le Boulevard shopping, designed like a…

Half these places have a fake sky, and that isn’t the only crazy thing about shopping in Las Vegas.

If it’s any mammoth Las Vegas casino hotel shopping complex complete with themed performers and props for your amusement, then it’s likely they also took the trouble of putting a fake sky for heaven knows what. Aladdin’s Desert Passage, The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace, Le Boulevard in Paris Las Vegas, The Grand Canal Shoppes of The Venetian — oh, yeah, look up and see.

Hey, I’ll take it, painted clouds and all. Whether going for the ultimate poker babe or fashionista look, hotels have some of the hottest Las Vegas shopping deals. Plus it’s doubly fun to shop in the company of Venetian human statues, Parisian mimes, animatronic Roman deities, and Arabian belly dancers.

Best of Las Vegas Hotel Shopping

Aladdin, Bally’s, Bellagio, Caesars Palace, Circus Circus, Harrahs, Hilton.

Hooters. There is no big deal about a pair of gift shops within hotel premises, but any girl with a big pair of best friends will find something to love here, not excluding the invisibly necklined tank tops and visibly short shorts famously worn by Hooters Girls.

Luxor, Giza Galleria. Music videos reassure me black-eyelined punks wearing blinding metallic and aping Queen are never out of…

Bellagio Las Vegas is all breath of spring you’d never think the Paris Hilton sex tape was shot here.

Your very first thought upon entering Bellagio Hotel & Casino is happiness in the air. By happiness, you mean conspicuous amounts of natural light, water, and flowers — unlike the other Las Vegas Strip casino hotels with their phony skylight. Except maybe Wynn, but that’s no coincidence as Steve Wynn conceptualized both hotels.

The first thing that strikes you is really the flowers. Hand-blown glass flowers hang from 2,000 sqft of the ceiling; Fiori di Como by Dale Chihuly can sure brighten up a lobby like the Pope. Adjacent to it is the Bellagio Conservatory and Botanical Gardens, which you can tell from the name has tons more florals, and is real beautiful it makes you smile even as you use up your lip balm on chafed lips.

From the lobby, one turn takes you to the pathway to Caesars Palace. It has Via Fiore’s fancy shops, more flowered ceilings, and things like artful vases that are a preview of the Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art. The other side leads to the classy, reasonably sized Via Bellagio shopping area, with more fancy shops like Prada and Tiffany & Co. Nothing as overwhelming as Aladdin or The Venetian shopping.

Ogling stuff you can’t afford is when you are reminded this casino hotel was a setting for Ocean’s Eleven. Speaking of film, the Paris Hilton sex tape did also…

It pains me to mention that the very undressed Britney Spears and Paris Hilton shop in Las Vegas.

Thankfully, shopping needs no defending. But I would note that the whole point of Las Vegas casino hotel shopping is to get properly outfitted before venturing out into the world.

If you know where to look, hotels have some of the hottest Las Vegas shopping deals: a Hooters tank top, Cirque du Soleil strappy blouse, or Binion’s Poker baby tee, depending on who you want to pick up or get picked up by. And go get some pleasant lingerie, too, in case those strip poker pictures find their way on some Internet sex tape or other.

Best of Las Vegas Hotel Shopping

Aladdin, Desert Passage. One of the best shopping complexes on the Las Vegas Strip, it is 475,000 sqft worth of over 170 specialty shops, from Betsey Johnson to Urban Outfitters, and 15 restaurants, like Godiva Chocolatier. You can take a pedicab tour of what is designed like ancient trade routes to the Arabian desert from the coast of Spain or northern Africa, complete with indoor rainstorm, acrobats, jugglers, and belly dancers. Open 10 am to 11 pm, or midnight on Fridays and Saturdays.

Bally’s, Avenue Shoppes. Its over 20 shops and boutiques offer browsing options that aren’t the usual fashionista fare, including Las Vegas Harley Davidson, Le Grand Jewels, and Marshall Rousso. Open 9 am to 11 pm.

Bellagio, Via Bellagio. There are over 10 specialty shops…

Tourist traps for freeloaders? Why not? It’s eyecandy, it’s free, it’s Vegas.

Sure, on our way to Las Vegas, we think we’ll hit the casinos and clubs first thing. But once we get there – past the airport slots anyway, we almost always take a detour. Bets and booze get side-stepped when we’ve fallen trap to the most glaringly hypnotic thing to glue our eyes on: the biggest damn fuss ever made over skylines and replicas, caged fauna and controlled flora, light slash sound slash water shows.

For Las Vegas first-time visitors with time to burn, the itinerary of the first few days is to walk around, stare, gape, and pose for a photo. You can’t possibly not stop and stare at Parisian mimes, Buckingham guards, or Venetian gondoliers right smack in the middle of an American desert. At least, unless hot girls playing strip poker have already caught your eye.

Here, we’ve traced your Strip walkaround from Mandalay Bay to Wynn, and Las Vegas free attractions to grab your attention along the way.

Mandalay Bay, Luxor, Excalibur, Tropicana, New York-New York, Aladdin, Bellagio, Paris Las Vegas.

Caesars Palace. Fall of Atlantis. It is a free show at The Forum Shops featuring sfx and animatronics of King Atlas, and his two kids in a fire vs. water feud as to who gets the throne. You’ll never pose by so many Classic Roman columns as the ones you’ll find on the vast outside, with faux-marble Classic Roman statues and Italian cypresses thrown in. There are replicas of Michelangelo’s David, and the Brahma Shrine, one of Thailand’s best-known Buddhist shrines…

Read more: Las Vegas Free Attractions on the Strip

November first. Day of the Dead in Mexico, death day at Stardust Las Vegas Resort & Casino.

This is the day some observe All Souls’ Day, others, Día de los Muertos. In Las Vegas, it is the day Stardust sees its dreariest, gloomiest Halloween: the calendar date when the casino hotel, after operating for close to 60 years, is scheduled to stop taking all reservations, carrying on with prior commitments until imploded early next year. Stardust is ghost-like from here; it’s the beginning of the end.

Was that name doomed from the start? What games of chance will be lost to us, now that owner Boyd Gaming is gambling away this Las Vegas institution in favor of a new $4 billion megaresort befitting the Strip?

Bustling and spread out across the ground floor, Stardust Casino is no doubt the highest-traffic area at the hotel. Other than convention spaces bringing equally steady business, the gaming spaces teem with the most customers. People saunter nonstop on the red carpet, and you wonder how, within 85,000 sqft; the new Echelon Place replacing Stardust will offer a 140,000 sqft casino.

A thing of note about Stardust Casino is, many say, its gamblers look more Downtown than Strip. As far back as I can remember, the most I see here are over-45 geezers…