Fantasy boneheads are dancing in the streets–or their parent’s basement–because ESPN and Fox are blowing out the fantasy sports phenomenon even further and unveiling two new television shows this season for fantasy sputniks everywhere. FOX’s show begins August 28 and ESPN will launch its full-frontal fantasy attack on the universe August 25. The collective TIVOing of these shows by the fantasy dorks everywhere could shut down power on the east coast for months.

Read More » Rejoice! It’s Fantasy Football Television

A columnist for the Daily Press in Hampton, Va. named Dave Johnson goes apeshit on fantasy sports participants, going as far as to call them “geeks” and back-handedly bashes the whole concept throughout. And then he pulls out the big guns:
Fantasy Geeks will watch every second of a Royals-Devil Rays game just because Zack […]

Read More » Newspaper Columnist Gives Verbal Beatdown to Fantasy Geeks

The Indianapolis Star does a lengthy article about the popularity of Fantasy Sports–its vicarious thrills, its number crunching, its total soul-swallowing addictive nature, the wanness of its participants–and not only tosses out the lofty number of 30 million(!) people involved in fantasy sports(93% male, natch), but also compares the statistical obsession and futures betting aspect […]

Read More » The Overarching Reach of Fantasy Sports

· ESPN’s Fantasy sports assface Tristan Cockroft laments the struggling Braves and takes time to wonder where all the flowers have gone. [ESPN] · Yahoo Fantasy Sports’ titfarmer Matt Homing puts together a list of the top 50 fantasy hockey players. There is no fucking hockey, you titfarmer! [Yahoo Sports] · USA Today fantasy fart hammer gets overly excited about the White Sox starting to swing the bat. [USA Today]

Read More » Fantasy Nerds: The Death of Chief Knock-A-Homa

Pity the poor Fantasy Sports enthusiast who can’t find himself a team name. But after they’ve finished number-crunching OPS to find the perfect back-up second baseman for their fourteenth team, sometimes names become a little tough to come by. Enter this worldly columnist from the Daily Press in Hampton Roads, Va. who joyfully breaks it down for the aspiring fantasy momer so they don’t look silly in front of their two friends:

So you’ve found a Web site and you’ve joined a league, now you need to pick your team’s name. Make it a reflection of you. Don’t use puns or movie characters; they’ve been done to death. My team’s name is - 4815162342 - that weirdo group of numbers from the TV show "Lost," which is a whole other obsession.

Read More » Fantasy Sports Dweeb Confesses, Outs Himself

· Yahoo Fantasy Sports’ little twig Matt Romig opines about Milwaukee and Pittsburgh. Snore. [Yahoo Fantasy Sports]
· ESPN’s pointy-faced scribe Eric Karabell bangs a gong for LA Dodgers first baseman Hee Sop Choi [ESPN]
· MLB’s roto turds Matt Berry and Pete Becker sing a song and also hop on the Hee Sop Choi Express [MLB]

Read More » Fantasy Nerds: Bow For Hee Sop Choi

· Yahoo Fantasy Sports’ triple-chinned hero Mike Harmon gets fired up for football season and runs down all of the offseason activity that could impact this year’s teams. [Yahoo Fantasy Sports] · ESPN Fantasy Sports’ Tristan Cockroft gives Livan Hernandez a verbal blow job in today’s column. [ESPN] · MLB blogging twin dickheads at The Talented Mr. Roto spend hundreds and hundreds of words telling funny Clint Barmes anecdotes.

Read More » Fantasy Nerds: Still Bitter About the Prom

Brandon Funston, devoid of any kind of social activity that requires leaving his Cheetos-stained couch, has already participated in a Fantasy Football Experts draft. He’s happy to report that the big mover was Buffalo Bills’ running back(and super-agent asshole Drew Rosenhaus lapdog), Willis McGahee, who was taken sixth behind Indianapolis Colt’s quarterback Peyton Manning. Funston is also happy to report that he has recovered from his recent bout with scabies and has finally purchased new tube socks. Fantasy Football Experts Draft

Read More » Fantasy Football: Funston Checks In

· Crapfaced demon and Fantasy Info Center columnist Chris Wang gets all cute in his column about basebal "sidlers". We have no idea either. [Fantasy Info Center] · ESPN’s resident chick wrangler Kevin Rounce tells fantasy geeks whom to add, drop, and eviscerate. [ESPN Fantasy Sports] · And, of course, ESPN’s resident cock-of-the-walk Eric Karabell peels himself away from his Atari 2600 to breakdown the American League teams. [ESPN Fantasy Sports]

Read More » Fantasy Nerds: Never Been Kissed

· Yahoo Fantasy Sports’ creampuff-looking Mike Harmon previews the week ahead, gets bedeviled by Clint Barmes, and shows a masculine side. [Yahoo Sports] · ESPN.com’s carb-chinned Tristan Cockroft devotes his Out of the Box column to Ben Sheets. He says we should marry him. Weirdo. [ESPN] · Fantasy Info Central’s Harley David Rubin babbles on and on and on about nothing then blows himself because he traded Jon Garland/Lance Nix/Merkin Valdez for Garrett Anderson. Christ. [Fantasy Info Central]

Read More » Fantasy Nerds: Still Crying Over Clint Barmes, Still Not Laid