Television Poker: New Show To Hit Game Show Network January 6th
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Game Show Network, High Stakes Poker, Online Poker, Poker
Our former free pick guinea A.J. Benza has left our cheap-ass confines and moved on to better-paying pastures in the form of co-hosting the Game Show Network’s upcoming poker juggernaut “High Stakes Poker”, which premieres on the network January 6th. Benza will serve as the show’s guido version of Norman Chad, adding witty commentary and pasta recipes between hands, or something. Benza has provided us with the list of players playing in the $100,000 buy-in cash game featuring professionals and rich amateurs that may(or may not) get your poker boners erected:
Doyle Brunson Barry Greenstein Freddy Deeb Daniel Negraneu Antonio Esfandiari Eli Elezra Todd Brunson Bob Stupak Sam Farha Fred Chalimar Daniel Aleisi Ted Forest Mimi Tran Jenniefer Harmon Sean Sheikahn Some guy named Amir who is a gynecologist Phil Hellmuth Jerry Buss
We never knew gynecology was so lucrative. We even watched Robert Altman’s “Dr. T and the Women” like 12 times.
GSN Ups Ante as Poker Fades [TV Week]
Welcome to Wopjack [Oddjack]
NFL Gambling Tidbits…
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Gambling, NFL Betting
· Sorry to say, but a trend is a trend, and the nation’s betting public know enough to see that the Katrina Connection is longer a valid angle when handicapping the lines on Saints games. Get ready to heap more pity on the Saints as they mope into a has-to-win-any-minute Minnesota.
· Philadelphia Eagles goes for the Bay Area sweep after rolling up a franchise record 583 yards last week. But more important, Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens are both playing after sitting out practices this week. McNabb with a hurt chest, Owens with hurt groin. Hmmm, an injured heart and a pulled groin. Sounds like love to me. Also, seasoned gamblers will tell Oakland getting 8 is a trap for sucker bettors whose eyes light up at the Kerry Collins/Randy Moss connection getting those kind of points. Look for Philly to finally put a team named after a bird above the .500 mark.
· Linesmen are going to be chintzy with the lines on Patriots games until the defending Super Bowl champs can show they have a way to thrive against opposing teams’ blitzing defenses. Last week Carolina blitzed 41 times, and according to Stats Inc., Tom Brady is just 20-of-41 for 179 yards. Also Corey Dillon hasn’t sliced his way through blitzes too well either, rushing for 99 yards on 37 carries. Give you guess what the Steelers will do? Take Pittsburgh, a team that no longer misses a bus named Jerome Bettis running through it, giving the 3.
Chopping Lines: Banking on Glavine’s Brittle Old Bones
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Chopping Lines, MLB Betting, New York Mets, Washington Nationals
7:10 p.m.
Washington Nationals (73-71, H. Carrasco)
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New York Mets (71-72, T. Glavine)
Best Line: METS -162, NATS +165
The New York Cockteasers (formerly known as the Mets) have been thisclose to stealing the New York thunder usually reserved for the Yankees all season long. They could still do it, provided they turn a deaf ear to their demons and bust their asses these final 19 games. And they catch two big breaks tonight against the Nationals, who are 1 1/2 games ahead of the Mets in the Wild Card race. First, the Nats had to scratch John Patterson as their starter because - listen to this - his sinus infection and bronchitis turned into a case of asthma. Instead Hector Carrasco takes the hill. Patterson lost his only decision against the Mets, but he posted an ERA of 2.84 thru 19 innings. Second, the old and improved Tom Glavine has rolled up his sleeves and silently posted some real decent work for the Cockteasers. In his last two performances against the Braves, Glavine went a cumulative 15 innings and gave up just two runs. In his 11 starts since the All-Star break, Glavine’s ERA is 2.48, the 7th lowest in the National League in that span. Take the Mets tonight and watch Carlos Beltran finally step out and begin to carry his team.
BENZAPICK!: METS -162
Chopping Lines: Oaktown 357
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Chopping Lines, Cleveland Indians, MLB Betting, Oakland Athletics
Oakland Athletics (80-63,K. Saarloos)
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Cleveland Indians (82-62,K. Millwood)
With the Angels, Yankees, Indians and A’s so close together these days, the Wild Card race reminds me of a Friday night at The Vault, more than a baseball league. But, with 19 games left before the big money shot, Oakland looks sexiest to me. And tonight’s match-up with Cleveland seems pretty easy to handicap. A team in a Divisional/Wild Card race comes to rely on their No. 5 pitcher as much as their ace. But when that No. 5 guy hits a hot streak, they can practically book their post-season hotel rooms ahead of time. The A’s Kirk Saarloos, who lost for the first time in six starts his last time out, will be pitching on nine days of rest. The long layoff ain’t shit for Saarloos, though. As Oakland’s fifth starter, he’s gone as long as 11 days between starts and worked out of the bullpen on occasion. And that unselfish attitude around is like the flu in a clubhouse: When one guy has it, everyone else gets it. And after snapping the Indians’ 7-game win streak last night, the A’s look they’re about to make another solid run.
BENZAPICK!: OAK +152
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Chopping Lines: Oh, To Be at Chickie’s and Pete’s Tonight
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Atlanta Falcons, Chopping Lines, NFL Betting, Philadelphia Eagles
9 p.m.
Philadelphia Eagles
at
Best Line: ATL +1.5, PHL -0, O/U 42
Delicate as this procedure might be, removing the betting public from Michael Vick’s dick is relatively painless and simple. And the only known side effects that might occur are extreme cockiness, occasional bursts of euphoria and swelling of the pockets.The procedure begins with the science of indisputable facts that can only help you towards long-term health and happiness. And some of those numbers go like this:Philadelphia wouldn’t get an argument from me if it changed its name to the Road Warriors. They have posted an NFL-best 31-9 record over the last 5 seasons. They also boast a 37-22 record in games broadcast on primetime TV, and a gaudy 16-2 primetime mark under coach Andy Reid. And since Monday Night Football is as primetime as it gets, you shouldn’t need more of an assurance than that. But there’s more here, so come and get some. Philly was also 11-1 last season against the NFC. And they have also amassed a 4-0 record against the Atlanta Falcons across the last 5 seasons in which their average margin of victory was 16 points and change. And here’s a sweet stat for you: The Eagles are an impressive 30-13 against the number in the last 5 years. Now I’m not usually such a numbers whore, but these figures have me laying down and lifting up the gold sheet with one hand. Capeesh? When you crunch the numbers for Atlanta, it’s nothing but dismal. The Dirty Birds offer a 3-4 mark as dogs against the spread last season. And an even scarier 15-25 over the last 5 seasons. They are 8-1 at the Georgia Dome, but that one fact isn’t enough for me to toss aside all of the beautiful science that the Eagles have laid down. Philly’s most effective way of defeating the nimble Vick and his Falcons is to stay away from blitzing and employ a containment style of defense, which should shut down any form of daylight too tempting for Vick to scramble through. Other than that, Donovan McNabb is going to have to look for Brian Westbrook a helluva lot more that he finds the heavily-blanketed Terrell Owens. The McNabb to Westbrook hook-up should be enough for the Eagles to chew up consistent yardage before they rely on the quick-strike abilities of T.O. Philly’s mighty arsenal and their ability to perform with cool heads, make tonight’s play easy.
BENZAPICK!: PHI -0
(YTD 1-1)
Chopping Lines: It’s Devil Ray/Yankee Run Redux
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Chopping Lines, MLB Betting, New York Yankees, Tampa Bay Devil Rays
7:05 p.m.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays (58-81, D. Waechter)
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New York Yankees (77-60, J. Wright)
The win-lose line for the Yankees/Devil Rays game is big enough to hang Star Jones. So we ain’t touching it. But what did tempt me is a possible Yankees nightmare unfolding that has me eye-banging the total like crazy. Here’s the deal: The Bombers are waiting to see how Jaret Wright’s neck responds after the righthander was drilled by a batted ball in his last start. If Wright can go, he will make the start as scheduled. But if not, Joe Torre will wheel out 63-year-old Al Leiter would take the start on regular rest. Tampa Bay’s pitching situation is just as shitty with Doug Waechter winning only 2 of the 8 games he’s pitched in since returning from the DL with tendinitis in his right index finger. Hmmm…that’s what picking last night’s bad coke out of your nose will do to you. Yankees are due to break out against a team that has had their number all year. And any of the possible three pitchers are shakey at best.
BENZAPICK!: OVER 10.5
Chopping Lines: Prepare for a Diamondback Drubbing
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Arizona Diamondbacks, Chopping Lines, MLB Betting, Pittsburgh Pirates
7:05 p.m.
Arizona Diamondbacks (62-77, B. Webb)
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Pittsburgh Pirates (58-82, M. Redman)
Best Line: ARZ -111, PITT +110
With the NCAA Executive Committee not considering Pittsburgh Pirates’ pitcher Mark Redman a name hostile and abusive to Native-American tribes, the pale-faced lefthander will take the hill tonight in a who-cares? tilt against Arizona. And look for Arizona’s line-up to run up the score. With Pirates Oliver Perez and Zach Duke close to returning from injuries, Redman is fighting to keep his spot in the Pirates’ crowded starting rotation, even though he’s gone a horrifying 1-10 in his last 15 starts. Excuse me, with performances like that, he shouldn’t be able to keep the resin bag, let alone a starting spot. An Arizona annihilation. Incidentally, when will the NCAA look into the term “Diamondbacks” as being hostile and abusive to Canal Street Jews?
BENZAPICK!: ARZ -111
Chopping Lines: It’s a Jon Lieber Party and Everyone’s Invited
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Chopping Lines, Houston Astros, MLB Betting, Philadelphia Phillies
7:05 p.m.
Houston Astros (73-64, R. Oswalt)
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Philadelphia Phillies (73-65, J. Lieber)
Here we are with, what?, 25 games left to the season and Houston righty Roy Oswalt is trying on a new, shorter delivery that he hopes will help to better deceive hitters. Yeah, O.K. He’d be better off wearing an Andy Pettitte mask and borrowing Roger Clemens’ jersey. He ain’t fooling anyone, especially this late in the year. The secret on Oswalt became public in his last outing against the Reds when he pooped out and couldn’t start the 6th frame after tossing 100 pithches. And the secret everyone in Houston doesnt want you to know is this: Oswalt’s arm is, for the most part, dead. His “new” delivery is supposed to get him stronger and keep the other team guessing. With Philadelphia running out a very dependable-of-late Jon Lieber tonight - who’s won 4 of his last 6 - it’s time for the Phillies to snap their 3-game skid.
BENZAPICK!: PHL EVEN
Chopping Lines: Calling All Angels
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Boston Red Sox, Chopping Lines, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, MLB Betting
7:05 p.m.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (77-59, J. Lackey)
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Boston Red Sox (80-56, T. Wakefield)
Best Line: LAA +116, BOS -126
This could be a dream week for Yankees fans (and I’m talking mainly about me here) with the Bombers set to pelt the last place Tampa Bay Devil Rays and the Boston Red Sox taking on the solid Los Halos of Anaheim - who, like themselves, are stuck in the middle of a nasty Divisional/Wild Card race. Sorry for the BoSox but the O.C. features John Lackey tonight, who allowed just 3 runs over six innings in his lone start against the Red Sox this season for a no-decision. But against that line-up, it’s more like a perfect game. You want better than that? Lackey is kinda hot lately tossing in at least 6 K’s in each of his last 16 starts. On the flipside, the L.A. papers are burying Halos’ Garrett Anderson, who needs a fluffer for his soft wood. I say the remedy lies in Tim Wakefield’s gay knuckler. Tonite we’re California dreamin’.
BENZAPICK!: LAA +116
Chopping Lines: Eagle-Eyed Cherry Picking
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Chopping Lines, NFL Pre-Season Betting, New York Jets, Philadelphia Eagles
8 p.m.
NY Jets (2-1)
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Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)
Best Line: PHL -2.5, NYJ +3
Once there was a day when NY Jets fans looked upon QB Chad Pennington as the Great White Hope. Now he looks like another cracker in my soup. “Sad” Pennington’s performance against his crossdown rival NY Giants last week was haarible. One of these days, during one of these games, somebody on the team has to own to the fact that the best pieces to “Sad’s” throwing arm might have left on that operating table so many months ago. But it ain’t all his fault. His offensive line has given up 11 sacks this pre-season, and if that keeps up “Sad” could eat the dirt in access of 30 times this regular season. In addition, the almighty Curtis Martin is a year older and more banged up. So the Jets’ offense is going to have to get very creative when it’s time to step up and beat the NFL’s elite teams.But asking them to beat the powerful Philadelphia Eagles A.) On their home turf; and B.) With Terrell Owens doing his thing as only he can do it; might be asking them to do the impossible.If the Eagles have already cut through the controversey of two weeks ago and re-mixed their tainted chemistry in so short a time, expect them to cut through the Jets defense and remind us of their NFL elite status in the span of tonight’s four quarters.
BENZAPICK!: PHL -2 1/2
YTD 7-3
Chopping Lines: Jag the Dog
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Chopping Lines, Dallas Cowboys, Jacksonville Jaguars, NFL Pre-Season Betting
8 p.m.
Jacksonville Jaguars (2-1)
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Dallas Cowboys (2-1)
Best Line: JAC +5, DALLAS -3.5.
The encouraging news is that the Jacksonville Jaguars have defeated the Indianapolis Colts in two of their last three meetings, including a 2004 victory at the RCA Dome. The real shitty news is that the Jaguars also dropped two games to the hapless Texans in that same span. So the question looms: Are these guys Jaguars or Jag-offs? I say they’re Jaguars, dammit. And the Dallas Cowboys are about to learn that the hard way.
Coach Jack Del Rio cited inconsistency as the young team’s biggest headache, and his team has good things to help eliminate that as we enter the regular season and they know they have to play hard every week - even when the opposition doesn’t have a horse-shoe on its helmets. The most important change has been seeing Byron Leftwich emerge as a star as the Jags have been emphasizing more vertical passing. After four games the Jags sit atop the AFC South standings and have allowed the fewest points with 54. There is simply no way the Dallas Cowboys’ feeble offense - led by the frightened feet of Drew Bledsoe - will be able to muster enough points to beat the Jags. As far as I’m concerned, all the Jags’ offensive line need do is keep the Cowboys’ lone star in DE DeMarcus Wade off Leftwich’s ass. If they can do that, Lord Byron oughta be able to pick apart the secondary for more than enough points. TAKE the 5 points and watch that mean bastard Bill Parcells blow a gasket.
BENZAPICK!: JAGS + 5
(YTD 7-3)
Chopping Lines: Attack of the Devil Dogs
READ MORE: A.J. Benza, Boston Red Sox, Chopping Lines, MLB Betting, Tampa Bay Devil Rays
7:05 p.m.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays (55-78, C. Fossum)
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Boston Red Sox (76-54, T. Wakefield)
I always have a hard time distinguishing between Tim Wakefield who leads the Red Sox in wins with 13, and Tim Busfield who led the cast of Thirtysomething in whines. So bear with me here. Anyhow, yes, Wakefield and his silly knuckleball lead the BoSox with 13 wins, but he also leads the BoSox in losses with 10. What that says to me is the seams don’t always stay as still as he’d like.
The other quirky pitcher on the hill tonight is Casey Fossum, who continues to use his curveball as a changeup, dropping it down to the moth-fart speed of 45 mph. That sounds like shit, but it makes many batters brown their pants when he follows that up with his 94 mph heater.I know Wakefield posts a 12-1 career record against the Devil Rays, but no one - I mean NO ONE! - goes 13-1 against the Devil Rays. Especially not with Lou Piniella’s boys being so pissy lately. Big reward here for those with balls big enough to take Tampa Bay inside Fenway tonight. Tampa is my Dog of the Month pick for August.
BENZAPICK!: TB +195
(YTD 7-4)
One day, everything will be a wager, from a hand of poker to the likelihood you'll be struck down by a bioterror attack before the next brain backup. One day. For now, there's Oddjack. It's a sneak peek at the future of gambling.
