NFL Betting: Our Tuesday Morning Misery

READ MORE: American Gambling News, Atlanta Falcons, NFL Betting, New York Jets

One e-mail from a reader sums up last night’s loss quite aptly:

Subject: How do these fucks contrive to not cover the 8 1/2?

Great question. We don’t know what it means, exactly, but great question nonetheless. Especially when Michael Vick manages to throw three picks and go 11-of-26 for 116 yards with only three completions to wideouts. His passer rating was an atrocious 16.3. 16.3.

Yet, the Jets lost the cover thanks to Testaverde’s ineptitude and all those turnovers. Testaverde’s three fumbles in the first 17 minutes pretty much spotted the Falcons 17 points. So, that’s what we get for buying into our misguided theory not to bet against the Jets on Monday Night Football. Never again. Not this season, at least. And yes, we’ll be good sports about this. Our cantankerous friend over at American Gambling News has a nice little scoreboard displaying our dorktastic head-to-head NFL pick ‘em drinking challenge this year:

There’s still time. We’re not shopping for a case of Iron City just yet.

Instead of Turning It Around, Jets Turn it Over [NY Times]

Oddjack Betting: Cleaning Out Our Pujols

READ MORE: American Gambling News, Houston Astros, Indianapolis Colts, Oddjack Betting, St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Rams

· We won’t make the mistake of not owning up to our little competition with the king shark over at American Gambling News. We will reluctantly acknowledge the fact that he’s beating us so far in head-to-head competition—for now. Yes, last night’s pick of the Rams at +14 seemed to be working out just fine, until the Indianapolis Colts defense(which is getting as much press as, oh, the ‘85 Bears D right now) started taking over the game. What. The. Fuck. Get Mike Martz off the sidelines and put him in a hermetically-sealed bubble or something. We know that idiot is still tinkering.

· And, ooooh, that must have hurt for all those people who picked the Astros last night. Yow. Worked out for us, actually. Good thing Albert Pujols has a soft spot for dogs.

· The betting public has moved onto the Astros for tomorrow night’s game, however. STL sporting -150 right now. That’s a little too high a number for us against Roy Oswalt—but we could change our minds by the afternoon. Hangover still telling us to pick the Astros.

The Joys of Internerd Free Pick Trash Talking

READ MORE: American Gambling News, Dave Wannstedt, Free Picks, NFL Betting, Pittsburgh Sucks, You Will Feel Like You've Been Beaten With Oars By Angry Sea Lions

We will probably regret this much more than the time we lost that “drink a shot of Kiwi Mad Dog out of a half-full Hellman’s jar” prop bet a few years back, but we figure it’s newsworthy in the sense that an ornery fella from the land of Julius Erving’s fictional basketball team has issued a challenge to us on his website starting in Week 6 over Monday Night Football picks. Yes, the sword-rattling scribe at American Gambling News has apparently taken a playful comment of ours in the wrong way and offered up this solution to our differences:

For those who haven’t seen it, our good—not good at picking WINNERS, mind you—buddies at OddJack left a flaming bag of crap in the AGN comments, going so far as to cuss. But I’m cool with it so long as he keeps picking MNF games along with the Monday Night Countdown crew–that is, wrong pretty much every week. And I’m SO cool with it that I’m willing to issue a challenge…and a fun little wager:

For the rest of the NFL season, let’s pick ‘em every week. Stick ‘em up head to head, keep a cumulative record, starting with week 6. And we’ll do it like we’re mayors: At the end of the season, the loser’s gotta pony up something from his hometown. I’ll throw down a case of Iron City. And since OddJack’s probably from New Jersey (just a hunch), I’ll be expecting a big old bag of toxic sludge. Or at least a gift certificate to Texas Arizona, Hoboken’s Steeler Bar.

And here we are, ready to beaten like a mule(cuz we like it), and feverishly searching the messy library at Gawker headquarters for an atlas to find out where this land called “Hoboken” he speaks of is. So, we’ll play along and keep track of our records and AGN’s MNF picks for the rest of the year just because we like to keep an open dialogue with unhinged lunatics from Wannstedt country. And, sure, we’ll pay up if we lose. We’re good like that.

Nothin’ Quite Like A Tuesday [AGN]