Fantasy Sports: A.J. Burnett Could Regain Studliness in Baltimore

READ MORE: A.J. Burnett, Baseball, Tristan Cockroft

So says ESPN’s pheromone-friendly huckster Tristan Cockroft in today’s Out of the Box column. He insists that Florida Marlins’ pitcher A.J. Burnett’s problems before last night’s encouraging performance at Arizona are probably due to all this messy trade talk. Cockroft says fantasy owners of Burnett should swell massively in their shorts over the prospects of him heading to Baltimore. New location,pennant(ahem) race, and Lee Mazilli’s pasta dishes every day should straighten him out. But we do feel bad that Burnett will have to shower with the sagging skin and soft bones of Sammy Sosa on a regular basis as well. That could damage a man’s psyche, we’re sure.

Open Auditions [ESPN]