Brandon Lang/Lane/Link: Movie Flop Affecting NFL Picks

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link, Two For the Money

We figured we’d check in with handicapping schizo Brandon Lang/Lane/Link to see how he’s been doing since Two For The Money tanked at the box office, completely shattering any hopes for him elevating his career past that of an internet free pick hustler. Well, from the looks of it, the movie bombing may have rattled the golden boy’s cage a bit as he stated in his open letter to his “clients” this month about his recent 1-12(That’s ONE WIN AND TWELVE! Losses) slide in NFL picks this October:

“You see the records above. I can’t be any more honest, any more truthful. I’ve never been a guy who hid his losers, because like I say, if I can brag about the winners, I’ve got to own up to the losers. I’ve owned college football in October. I absolutely sucked in the NFL. Can’t be more direct than that. As you know, and as you’ve heard me say on hundreds of radio interviews and on national TV, I don’t win everyday. Can’t and won’t. Simple as that.

Some days you have to give back to your man some of the money you won off of him. It happens. Always has, always will.

The past two weeks I’ve been dreadful in the NFL. Not the first time, not the last.

It’s a long season. There will be ups and downs. And that’s why you’ve got always stay within your limits and follow my money management advice.

Now, of course, for those of you that came aboard the past two Sundays or Mondays for the first time, what can I say other than I lost? I mean, I’m not going into your homes, ordering you to buy. And I have no control over when you buy for the first time. But, I certainly understand you’re disappointed. And that’s the nature of the business, and you know it as well as me.

We win together, we lose together. And whether winning or losing, you expect the truth, and that’s what I’m giving you. The past two weeks in the NFL were awful, but as I always say, if you’re with me for the long haul, you should make money.

This is a marathon, not a sprint, to make money.”

Yes, those of you unfortunate enough to spend money on Brandon’s services—up to $679 for his season package—must be thrilled with that apology. Brandon Lang is the paid handicapping equivalent of Enron at this point. But those of us who are Brandon Lang fans can at least take solace in the fact that Two For The Money will most likely be seen on East Coast flights to Vegas in the next couple weeks.

Brandon Lang [Homepage]
The Uncontested Lunacy of Brandon Lang/Link/Lane Continues [Oddjack]
The Schizophrenic Tendencies of Brandon Lane [Oddjack]
Two For The No Box Office Money [Oddjack]