Brandon Lang/Lane/Link: Movie Flop Affecting NFL Picks

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link, Two For the Money

We figured we’d check in with handicapping schizo Brandon Lang/Lane/Link to see how he’s been doing since Two For The Money tanked at the box office, completely shattering any hopes for him elevating his career past that of an internet free pick hustler. Well, from the looks of it, the movie bombing may have rattled the golden boy’s cage a bit as he stated in his open letter to his “clients” this month about his recent 1-12(That’s ONE WIN AND TWELVE! Losses) slide in NFL picks this October:

“You see the records above. I can’t be any more honest, any more truthful. I’ve never been a guy who hid his losers, because like I say, if I can brag about the winners, I’ve got to own up to the losers. I’ve owned college football in October. I absolutely sucked in the NFL. Can’t be more direct than that. As you know, and as you’ve heard me say on hundreds of radio interviews and on national TV, I don’t win everyday. Can’t and won’t. Simple as that.

Some days you have to give back to your man some of the money you won off of him. It happens. Always has, always will.

The past two weeks I’ve been dreadful in the NFL. Not the first time, not the last.

It’s a long season. There will be ups and downs. And that’s why you’ve got always stay within your limits and follow my money management advice.

Now, of course, for those of you that came aboard the past two Sundays or Mondays for the first time, what can I say other than I lost? I mean, I’m not going into your homes, ordering you to buy. And I have no control over when you buy for the first time. But, I certainly understand you’re disappointed. And that’s the nature of the business, and you know it as well as me.

We win together, we lose together. And whether winning or losing, you expect the truth, and that’s what I’m giving you. The past two weeks in the NFL were awful, but as I always say, if you’re with me for the long haul, you should make money.

This is a marathon, not a sprint, to make money.”

Yes, those of you unfortunate enough to spend money on Brandon’s services—up to $679 for his season package—must be thrilled with that apology. Brandon Lang is the paid handicapping equivalent of Enron at this point. But those of us who are Brandon Lang fans can at least take solace in the fact that Two For The Money will most likely be seen on East Coast flights to Vegas in the next couple weeks.

Brandon Lang [Homepage]
The Uncontested Lunacy of Brandon Lang/Link/Lane Continues [Oddjack]
The Schizophrenic Tendencies of Brandon Lane [Oddjack]
Two For The No Box Office Money [Oddjack]

Coda: The Brandon Lane/Lang/ Link Saga

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link, Two For the Money

Finally, we’ve happened upon some information about our friend Brandon Lang/Lane/Link and his curious background that we think should finally allow us to rest our weary heads about this. A classmate of Brandon’s from high school e-mailed us to give us the whole rundown on what’s real, what’s not, and what’s ridonculous about the mysterious Mr. Lane/Lang/Link:

Brandon Link: I went to high school with him; that’s his real name. The Lane and Lang came later. He was a reserve player on his HS team, came off the bench, usually tried to do too much, fancy passes, etc. Could hit the outside shot, and was effective when he played under control, but he was no star. The claim in the article in his hometown paper that he was planning to walk on at UNLV after his stint in the Navy (before an injury sidelined him) led to a lot of chuckling. He couldn’t start for a mediocre white-boy HS team yet he was going to walk on at UNLV during the glory years? His pre-Internet gambling show was on PASS, a Detroit sports cable station. That’s when he came up with the nickname “The King”. At his 10-year reunion he showed up in a car with the license “1-900-KING”. At the reunion he drove up in that car, and one guy we know went up to him, pointed at the license, and said “1-900-KING? What is that, some fag phone line?” Brandon was too shocked to respond. When I saw the movie trailer last week and saw a shot of that license, I cracked up. He wasn’t a bad guy, just a blowhard who overestimated his abilities. It’s clear from his current PR blitz that that tendency is still there.

Fin.

The Sociopathic Tendencies of Brandon Lane [Oddjack]

More of Brandon Lang’s Genius

READ MORE: Bodog Nation, Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link

From an interview with Bodog Nation:

“I understand sports. I understand teams. I understand matchups. I understand why Team A should beat Team B 10 times in a row. Factor in the point spread and I know what’s going on. I understand a cover, too. I understand that Philadelphia has an advantage over a team like San Francisco because they can’t guard Terrell Owens man to man, they’re going to have to double their coverage, which leaves a guy like [L.J.] Smith open all day. I understand San Diego is going to be able to run the football against the Giants if they give [LaDainian] Tomlinson 40 touches.”

So, why wouldn’t you give this guy your money? His comprehension of basic football logic is astounding. Double-coverage on Terrell Owens leaves L.J. Smith open? Tomlinson getting the ball 40 times gives the Chargers an advantage? Excuse us why we pick up the chunky remnants of our mind.
Brandon Lang Walks the Line [Bodog Nation]
Previously: Brandon Lang/Lane/Link Links [Oddjack]

Brandon Lang/Lane/Link Fluffs McConaughey

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link, Matthew McConaughey, Two For the Money

Crazy-ass toutster Brandon Lang/Lane/Link, the sports handicapper whose life is retold in the box office clunker Two For The Money, took some time out from his busy schedule of promoting himself and making crappy picks to talk about Matthew McConaughey’s portrayal of him in the movie for, well, we guess his own website:

“Matthew is a big sports fan and has been known to try his luck in the Vegas sportsbooks. In speaking to Matthew prior to shooting the movie, the dialogue in the script told him all he needed to know.

The emotions that he had to draw to in order to play me were right there because he’s a sports bettor himself. I was thrilled to death with how Matthew played me in the movie and the roller coaster ride he takes viewers on properly portrays what I went through.

One of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received in my life came from Matthew, he said “Thank you for bringing me a character where I had to dig down and draw on the emotions that every actor dreams about. This was by far my most enjoyable role.”

Aw…who has warm fuzzies? We hope “Matthew” enjoyed the crap out of this role because we’re pretty sure his leading man stock dropped around 30 points in the eyes of Hollywood after another stinker.

Brandon Lang on Matt McConaughey [Brandon Lang]
The Real Story Behind the Sports Tout in Two For the Money [Slate]
Previously: The Uncontested Lunacy of Brandon Lane/Lang/Link Continues [Oddjack]

Two For the No Box Office Money

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link, Two For the Money

Well, apparently the movie-going public has absolutely no interest in sports gambling dramas based on the life of psychopaths, as the Al Pacino/Matthew McConaughey movie Two For The Money got cracked its opening box office weekend by cartoon animals and a fat girl chick movie. TFTHM grossed a wimpy $8.4 million over the weekend giving it fourth place and subsequently ending Brandon Lane/Lang/Link’s 15 minutes of fame. We wish Brandon the best of luck in all of his endeavors and thank him for being fodder for us the last few days. Now, we can effectively go back to not giving a shit about him and his crappy picks.

Weekend Box Office (Oct. 7-9th) [Box Office Guru]
Brandon Lang [Homepage]

The Uncontested Lunacy of Brandon Lane/Link/Lang Continues

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link, Two For the Money

Tout-service guru and three-named evil genius Brandon Lane/Link/Lang, whose story is being “retold” in Two For The Money has hooked up with omnipresent sportsbook(and not-so-proud sponsor of Oddjack) Bodog for a special partnership and changed his name again in the span of 48 hours. In a press release this morning Bodog proudly gushes about their new partnership with Brandon LANG:

“Brandon Lang, the man who rocketed to fame as a sports handicapper, and Bodog.com, the company that revolutionized online entertainment, have teamed up.

In an agreement signed earlier this week, Lang and Bodog will work in conjunction to build a dynamic Bodog presence on his website www.brandonlang.com . Lang is the subject of the Hollywood film Two for the Money, whose premiere was sponsored by Bodog.

“Teaming with Brandon Lang seemed like a natural for us,” says Bodog Founder and CEO Calvin Ayre. “We’re very excited to be working with one of the most successful handicappers in the world.” “

Whose head hasn’t exploded yet? For those of you not following along at home:

· First there was the unreserved excitement of Brandon “Lane” and his web page at Big Green Machine, which openly complains about the fact that the name was changed to “Lang” in the movie: “Funny thing - they changed by name to Brandon “Lang” for “artistic” purposes. Damn if I know what that means, but it’s still me no matter how they spell my last name!”

· Then in the Lansing State Journal there is nice fluff piece about Midland, Michigan native Brandon “Link” and his experience about having a movie made about his life.

· Then there was the IMDB page he made for himself under Brandon “Link” because of his stirring uncredited role in Two For The Money.

· And now we have Bodog partnering with Brandon Lang, replete with a spanking new website for Brandon Lang with no acknowledgement anywhere of the fact that this man is out of his fucking skull.

But go see Two For The Money! Released nationwide today! Christ…

Bodog, Brandon Lang Team Up to Form Dynamic Presence in Gambling World [Bodog Press Release]
Brandon Lang’s website [Brandon Lang]
Previously: The Sociopathic Tendencies of Brandon Lane [Oddjack]
Brandon Lane: Enjoying 15 Minutes More Intensely Than Most [Oddjack]

The Schizophrenic Tendencies of Brandon Lane

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, Brandon Lang, Brandon Link, Two For the Money

The crazy-ass former football picking wunderkind Brandon Lane, whose life story is being “retold” in the gambling movie Two For the Money apparently lives a double-life which just confuses the crap out of us. This AP story addressed him as “Brandon Link” which we thought was a misprint, but then we trolled further and found out that “Lane” may actually be “Link”:

“Brandon Link came face to face with his own life when he attended the premiere of a new movie last week.

“Two for the Money,” which opens Friday nationally and stars Matthew McConaughey, Al Pacino and Rene Russo, is based on the former Midland man’s career as a sports handicapper.In the film, the Link character - Brandon Lane (played by McConaughey) - is a former college football player with a talent for predicting game results. He’s recruited by Walter Abraham (Pacino), the head of a sports consulting operation. Lane finds success, at least at first, and a father/son relationship develops between Abraham and Lane. But the two soon are at odds.”

Wait…who’s Link? Who’s Lane? We thought the lead character in Two For the Money played by McConaughey was called “Brandon Lang”, also. Head-shaking. Seizures. Blaggh.

But then we found this little thing on IMDB. Apparently our buddy Brandon is also an aspiring actor. Or he may have thought the small, uncredited cameo role he played in Two For the Money deserved an IMDB mention. And be sure to check out the photo page, which appears to show a picture of Link/Lane/Lang dressed in some sort of pajama outfit standing in a family room with a deranged look on his face. We hope that’s his family room and not some random family whose home he invaded.

Two For the Money Based on Life of Midland Man [Lansing State Journal]
Brandon Link [IMDB]
Brandon Lane’s Homepage [BigGreenMachine]
Previously: Brandon Lane: Enjoying 15 Minutes More Intensely Than Most [Oddjack]