Chopping Lines: Welcome To The Kyle Orton Era

READ MORE: Chicago Bears, Chopping Lines, NFL Betting, Washington Redskins

Sunday, 1 p.m.

Chicago Bears (0-0)

at

Washington Redskins (0-0)

Best Line: CHI +6, WAS -4.5, O/U 33 - 33.5

If we can dig deep through our pot-riddled memory to pull our Junior High School education back into service, the above line generates the following equation: X + (X-6) = 33. So dividing by pi and double checking our abacus gives us a projected final score in this game of 20-13. Seems low, but let’s check the rosters. Oh yeah, Kyle Orton versus Patrick Ramsey. That explains it. Our NFL sources tell us that Washington had the second worst offense in the league last year (15.0 ppg), and the third worst passing attack (164.5 ypg). Chicago? 14.4 ppg and 137.0 passing ypg. So if last year’s form holds… wait, we’ve almost got it now… Yes, that’s right. This game is going to suck. But that O/U line is a sucker bet. They just want you to add up 15 and 14.4 and think there’s no way on god’s green earth these teams find a way to put the ball in the end zone. We’d take the under at 35 or 36, definitely at 39, but 33 is way too risky.

That leaves us with the points. We’re not like our compadres at Covers who apparently got columnist Stephen Nover likkered up and got him to pick Chicago to win the NFC North. Um, nuh uh. But this is a good defense facing a pretty bad offense. The Bears can keep Ramsey on his ass, Clinton Portis bottled up, and Santana Moss from running up and down the field on them. This we believe. So long as Orton doesn’t wilt under the pressure in his first big game under center, we don’t see any way possible Washington exceeds the six point spread. As a matter of fact, we’re tempted to play Chicago’s money line. We’ll strongly advise the points, but like a 12 year-old boy just finding the bra section in the Sears catalog, we might not be able to help ourselves later.

PICK!: CHI +6