So Does This Make Negreanu The Latter-Day Koko B. Ware?

READ MORE: Doyle Brunson, Poker, Professional Wrestling, Ric Flair

Is online poker rigged? This is the question that has replaced the previous topic that once sparked Great Debate among the more conspiratorially-inclined among us—is professional wrestling rigged? The answer to both questions is the same—of course not. There are absolute truths that we will believe until they put us in the ground—donkeys always draw, and Hulk Hogan is The Real American.

And many of today’s poker superstars have ascended to the lofty heights of heroism and supervillany that used to be the preserve of overinflated gentlemen wearing Spandex and knee-high boots. If you think the comparison is overstated, that just means you haven’t read the latest from Donkey Puncher, which proves there are eerie similarities among the top competitors in both endeavors. To wit:

“Doyle Brunson – Ric Flair: He’s known as “the man, the myth, the legend”, won ten world titles, competed at a high level even at an older age, and possesses some solid man-boobs. Which guy am I talking about?”

Pro Wrestling Vs. Poker [Donkey Puncher]

Danny Dropped?

READ MORE: Chris Moneymaker, Daniel Negreanu, Doyle Brunson, James Woods, Jennifer Tilly, Johnny Chan, Poker

Interesting gossip from Prof at Las Vegas Vegas last night:

“I heard earlier today that Daniel Negreanu is, “…as of this week he is no longer with them (the Wynn).” This newsflash comes from a 100% reliable source.”

If Negreanu is no longer with the Wynn, will the casino attempt to find a replacement for him? After the jump, we’ll handicap the probabilities…

WHO’LL REPLACE DANIEL AT THE WYNN?

· Doyle Brunson - While there is no better ambassador of the game, Wynn would have a hard time prying him loose from Bobby Baldwin and the Bellagio, where Doyle hosts “The Big Game” - 100-1

· James Woods - We talked to Prof about some possibilities last night, and he thought Woods would be a good pickup for Wynn. He’s recognizable, engaging, and obviously loves his poker. Whether or not he’d be willing to dedicate himself to spending a ton of time in Vegas would be the question - 30-1

· Jennifer Tilly - Tilly is an underrated presence in tournament poker right now, but if she really does have talent and can increase her face time as a player on TV, her popularity will go through the roof. Plus, she’s charismatic and past her prime as a starlet. Interesting choice to say the least - 25-1

· Chris Moneymaker - In a totally unscientific measure of popularity, Googling Moneymaker’s name returns more results than Greg Raymer or Joe Hachem, proving he’s at least a bit more marketable than either of the two WSOP champs that followed him. Why wouldn’t Wynn take the likeable Moneymaker, play his Cinderella story to the hilt, and turn him into the face of poker at the Wynn? The only knock is Money’s “Everyman” story might not play well with the high-end Wynn image - 20-1

· Phil Hellmuth - If we’re Wynn, we start negotiating with Hellmuth immediately. People know the name, and anyone who watches poker has an opinion of the guy. While you can absolutely give your poker room legitimacy by bringing a Main Event Champ into the fold, the underrated aspect of choosing Hellmuth for your ambassador is that people from all over the country would want to sit with Phil, beat him with a bad hand, and go home to tell all their friends they set Phil on tilt. Imagine the possibilities - 15-1

· Johnny Chan - Speaking of legitimacy, picking Chan up allows the Wynn to say they’ve got as many WSOP bracelets on their poker room ambassador as anyone else. Johnny’s still a huge name in the game, with his two-time Main Event Champ resume and the reverence shown to him by the writers of Rounders. Not only that, but you’ve got to figure that having the most well-respected Asian poker player in the world under your roof could do good things with Asian tourists - 10-1

Daniel Negreanu no longer with the Wynn? [Las Vegas Vegas]
Wynn Las Vegas

WPT Doyle Brunson Classic - Did Carmel Make It?

READ MORE: Carmel Petresco, Doyle Brunson, Poker, WPT

They’re finally down to the final TV table at the WPT Doyle Brunson North American Classic, with the table kicking off tonight at 7PM Vegas time. Dr. Pauly is live-blogging the event, which makes nearly 40 Vegas-based tournaments he’s blogged this year so far. Does it ever get old? The final table:

Here’s who made the final WPT TV table including seating assignments and chip counts, courtesy of Poker Wire:
Seat 1: Tony Grand 118K
Seat 2: Minh Ly 3.056M
Seat 3: Dan Harrington 2.937M
Seat 4: Don Zewin 552K
Seat 5: Gavin Smith 1.368M
Seat 6: Jan Sorensen 370K

No, Carmel Petresco didn’t make the final table, but she did play in the tournament. That, of course, gives us an excuse to run her picture. There’s just something about those Eastern Bloc women, especially the ones that have that sunken-eyed orphan look. You can keep your Evy Ng, we’re crushing on Carmel.

Doyle Brunson North American Classic - Day 3 [Tao of Poker]
Carmel Petresco Archive [Oddjack]

Bobby Duvall Antes Up

READ MORE: Doyle Brunson, Poker, Robert Duvall

From Dan M at Pokerati:

Another little birdie tells me that Robert Duvall has been cast as Doyle Brunson in a forthcoming movie based on Doyle’s forthcoming autobiography, which possibly is going to be titled All In.

Maybe they can get the guy that played “The Donger” in Sixteen Candles to play Johnny Chan, and then Alec Baldwin can put on another hundred pounds to play the 1999 version of Howard Lederer. If we’re Duvall we jump at this role. Where else are they going to pay you a couple mill to roll around in a Rascal all day long and play pretend? (Pictures courtesy Pokerati)

Doyle Duvall Brunson [Pokerati]

Poker: A Fat Guy For Generation X-Box

READ MORE: Doyle Brunson, Fried Cheese, Gastric Bypass, Howard Lederer, Poker, Thunder Keller

While America’s overweight elderly can look up to Doyle Brunson and the baby boomer beer bellies to Howard Lederer, who can our fried-cheese youth look up to in the galaxy of poker stars?

Kids, meet 24 year-old heavyweight Thomas “Thunder” Keller.

Keller is the type of roly-poly rebel the X-Games (watching - not participating) generation can get excited about. He’s rocking the frosty tips in his hair which proves he’s cool. His nickname is wicked awesome. He name drops Affleck and Spider-Man in his interviews. He credits Rounders as an influence, and the Internet for shaping his game. He is, as the kids say today, “Huge.” “Blowing up.” “Living large.”

And he is a really, really fat guy. Surprisingly, we glanced through his archives at Card Player and there was not one single article trumpeting the joys of batter dipped chocolate bars. Consider us shocked.

Previously: The Incredible Shrinking Robert Williamson [Oddjack]
Previously: Revel In Your Corpulence: Tomer Benvenisti, Friend To The Fat Man [Oddjack]
Previously: More Gastric Bypass Poker Playing Goodness: Howard Lederer [Oddjack]

The Rake: Table Wimp, Neuroblastoma, and No Poker, No Peace

READ MORE: Doyle Brunson, Greg Raymer, Poker, Rake, WPT

· Poker Counselor’s Corner returns with question from 98 lb weakling tired of being pushed around at the tables. We advise mirrored sunglasses, a PartyPoker hat, and your best heavy metal t-shirt. That should make people take you seriously. [PokerNews]
· Business Week claims Doyle Brunson is still in talks to take over WPT Enterprises. We’re not sick enough of Vince Van Patten to take over a company, but to each their own. [Business Week]
· “Mean” Gene Bromberg reads and reviews The Professor, The Banker, and the Suicide King: Inside the Richest Poker Game Of All Time. Our “ten/twenty” blinds are usually measured in dimes. The big game’s? Check it out. [Poker Magazine]
· “Todd Gusto” is apparently a musician who used to date Angelina Jolie and host celebrity poker tournaments. His new CD features the song, “I Spent $600 Text-Messaging Votes for Bo Bice and All I Got Was This Cheap Simulated-Leather Cell Phone Pouch.” We would spend $15 for his CD, but all we’d get is irritated and angry. [Metroactive Music]
· Virginia club schedules charity poker tournament to benefit rare brain cancer called “neuroblastoma.” Sounds like the title of the new Megadeth album, or just might be the most kick-ass disease of all time. [Roanoke.com]
· Is online poker legal in Thailand? Police Major Wacharin Jiratthitikarlwiwat says no. Child prostitution and rampant opium use is still a “grey” area. [Phuket Gazette]
· Televised poker is lumped in with competitive eating and made-up sports awards shows as “drivel” the networks trot out in the dog days of summer. Now, if they can only have Kobayashi go heads-up with Greg Raymer over a plate of Krispy Kremes, we could have it all. [Orlando Sentinel]
· Brief story on the “No Poker, No Peace” rally last week, where NYC protesters played poker to show their displeasure over the police busts of illegal underground poker clubs. They insisted, “poker is a game, not a crime.” Unless, of course, you’re playing in an illegal club that is making a profit from your activity. [Downtown Express]