WSOP 2005: Woke Up This Morning, Won Myself a Bracelet

READ MORE: 2005 WSOP, ESPN, Phil Ivey, Poker

What would a Tuesday be without a little WSOP action on ESPN? Well, it’d be just like a Wednesday, but that’s a lousy punchline. Anyway, two new episodes of poker grace the tube tonight, highlighted by a classic match between Robert Williamson and Phil Ivey in the $2500 Pot Limit Omaha with rebuys tourney. Excuse the spoiler, but the circumstances of Ivey’s participation in this tourney are too good not to relay. From Las Vegas Vegas:

Phil Ivey wasn’t going to play in Event #27 $5000 Pot Limit Omaha with Rebuys. He was sleeping at the time that the event was scheduled to start. Barry Greenstein noticed he was not registered, so he woke him up with a phone call. Barry knew that Pot Limit Omaha is one of Phil’s better games and insisted that Phil get over to the Rio to play. Phil Ivey mainly concentrates on cash games these days and he chose to play a light tournament schedule this year. It’s a good thing that Phil Ivey woke up and answered Barry Greenstein’s phone call because he picked up his fifth WSOP bracelet.

The PLO tourney is hour two, hour one is good ol’ Hold ‘Em action (Event 24, $2500 NL) with nearly no big names in sight. When Farzad Bonyadi is the guy you’re asking for autographs out of this bunch, you can probably guess the rest of these guys aren’t TV-table material.

WSOP on ESPN Tonight… [LasVegasVegas]
Event 27 (PLO) [Tao of Poker]
Phil Ivey Wakes Up to Win 5th Bracelet [LasVegasVegas]
Event 24 Wrapup ($2500 NL) [LasVegasVegas]
Event 24 [Tao of Poker]

WSOP 2005: The Old Guard Fights Back

READ MORE: ESPN, Poker, TJ Cloutier, WSOP 2005

Tonight’s 9PM EST ESPN WSOP televised event is June’s $5K No Limit Hold ‘Em final table featuring the likes of Todd Brunson, John Hennigan, Dustin “neverwin” Woolf, and active seniors John Bonetti and T.J. Cloutier. No spoilers here, but if we head back to Dr. Pauly’s live blogging of the event, we can assure you of a dramatic ending:

11:19pm… $5K NL Final update: (OneGuy) reraised preflop about $250K and (OtherGuy) went over the top all in. (OneGuy) who was pot-committed called. (OneGuy) had A5 and (OtherGuy) had AK. The flop was: 6-8-9. The turn: J. (OneGuy) had seven outs… and a 7 spiked on the river for a straight. (OtherGuy) won $352,620 for second place. He played amazing poker for three days and it took a suckout to prevent him from winning… (a) WSOP bracelet. (OneGuy) won $657,100.

By the way, the mullet in the picture? Todd Brunson baby. That’s a good look for him.

Event #13 Final Table [Tao of Poker]
2005 WSOP on ESPN TV Tonight [LasVegasVegas]

Jay Cronley: You Might Be A Bad Horseplayer If…

READ MORE: ESPN, Horse Racing, Jay Cronley, Travers Stakes

From the files of “we told you so,” ESPN’s Jay Cronley checks in with the following brief about “problem gamblers” at the track:

It has long been my contention that the five warning signs of problem horse race gambling are:
1. Can’t get ahead.
2. Can’t quit ahead.
3. Plays too many tracks at once.
4. Drinks too much.
5. Routinely plays stakes races at all the best tracks.

Most top-of -the-line stakes races have one of everything that could win the race: speed, a stalker, a stalker of the stalker, ground-savers, tactical wonders and closers, most of which are well bred and fit. Great races take from a sticks-track player this very important handicapping tool: an eye for bums.

Sure, the big races are sexy. But is there a handicapper on the planet who wouldn’t have advised you to box up Flower Alley, Bellamy Road, and Roman Ruler for the Travers last weekend? If you have a hard time weeding out the garbage runners, don’t feel bad about dropping down to the Claiming ranks at a smaller track. That’s where the real money is made at the windows anyway.

Picking the big-time a whole new game [ESPN]
Previously: You’re Dead Money At The Track [Oddjack]

WSOP 2005: Norman Chad Needs An Intervention

READ MORE: ESPN, Norman Chad, Poker, WSOP 2005

Hey Normie, what’s with the self-loathing? Just because you’re the voice of poker on ESPN doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty for taking a dump on the world of online poker. Keep reading after the jump…

WITH ALL THE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS OF A LAMPSHADE

Quoting Norman’s latest at Inside Bay Area:

Still, I’m struck by a notion — online poker is great for the game and lousy for the greater good of America.

(Alas, I must address a question: Am I a hypocrite? Admittedly, if I did not live near a card room or I was incapacitated for any length of time, I likely would play poker online. Plus, I am a lifelong pro-gambling advocate who now promotes poker on TV. So, on this hypocrite thing, I am somewhat guilty as charged.)

Online poker has a pretty simple dynamic:

You withdraw into your home.

You play whenever you want.

You interact only with your mouse, your mouse pad and your keyboard.

You eventually emerge from your isolation — sometimes richer, sometimes poorer — with the interpersonal skills of a lampshade.

Between those television teeth of his you’ll find - yes, that’s right - the hand that feeds him. Oh, and maybe someone should tell him that the tinfoil hat isn’t distracting anyone from the truth about his hairline. He’s starting to make Kareem Abdul-Jabbar look like Lew Alcindor. We are, however, prone to agree with his “Internet associates:”

(By the way — and my Internet associates tell me I’m an idiot every time I say this — I don’t trust online poker, either. I believe it is easier to cheat online. I don’t care what the programmers say about the software being impenetrable, if there’s that much money at stake, somebody sometime somewhere somehow is going to try to be smart enough to crack the system. Eventually, we will have an online poker scandal that will make the 2002 Breeder’s Cup pick-six betting scam look like a Soapbox Derby fix.)

Maybe next week he’ll tell us that the avatars on Full Tilt Poker are peeking at his hole cards. We await his next dispatch with baited breath.

Online Poker Players Need a Life [Inside Bay Area]

ESPN Goes to the Dogs Dogs It Isn’t Very Funny

READ MORE: ESPN, Poker

If this picture doesn’t convince you of the comedy genius behind “Celebrity Dogs Playing Poker” on ESPN’s Page 2 today, then maybe the following “quote” from canine shill “Spuds” MacKenzie will:

“That’s right. Iams has hired me to promote its new line of erectile dysfunction medication. It’s called “Dog Bones,” and trust me, a couple of these with your kibble and there isn’t a pant leg in the world you can pass up.”

Woof.

Celebrity dogs do it better [ESPN Page 2]

ESPN Poker Coverage Is Rigged?

READ MORE: 2005 WSOP, ESPN, Paul Phillips, Poker

Professional poker player Paul Phillips examines a hand from ESPN’s Tuesday night telecast of the Lake Tahoe WSOP Circuit Event, and comes away a little more than skeptical:

…on the first hand they show jeff lisandro raise with TT and ivey call with 99. The flop comes 444, lisandro bets and is called. The turn is a 5, lisandro bets, ivey goes all-in, and lisandro folds. There is not one chance in a million lisandro held TT on that hand.

…people often misunderstand what’s going on here. It’s not that they set out to invent alternate holdings because they think it’ll make more exciting television, it’s that the information is not recorded but for whatever reason they wind up broadcasting the hand anyway. So they wing it, asking the players what they had or just taking a guess if necessary. After 2003 I got the impression they had come to understand why this is completely lame and that if they want any respect from knowledgeable players they must stick to the facts, but the lisandro/ivey hand smacks of a return to old habits.

Wait… Reality TV sometimes fakes it? Color us irretrievably disillusioned. We’ll never watch poker on TV again, at least not until next Tuesday’s WSOP telecast.

ESPN almost certainly inventing hole cards again [Paul Phillips]

WSOP 2005: ESPN Says “We’re Almost There”

READ MORE: 2005 WSOP, ESPN, Phil Ivey

Tonight’s ESPN World Series of Poker telecast is - again - not an actual WSOP event not-so-plausibly live from the Rio, but another one of those “circuit” events, this one from Harvey’s Lake Tahoe Resort back in May.

We won’t spoil it for you, but wunderkind of poker Phil Ivey is sitting at the final table. He’s pretty good at playing cards and all, but we’d beat the shit out of him in Slap Jack until his fingers swelled to the size of a Ball Park Frank. Bring it on Tiger Woods.

ESPN Presents WSOP Poker Tonight [Las Vegas Vegas] (spoilers)

Horse Racing: ESPN’s Sunday Afternoon Delight

READ MORE: Breeders Cup 2005, ESPN, Horse Racing

What a perfect weekend for horse racing on TV. Football isn’t upon us yet, we’re not looking at any decent golf on the tube this weekend, and we’ll watch baseball only when we’re drunk or sleepy. Breeders’ Cup day is only a couple of months away, however, and the stakes race schedule is in full swing across the country.

Sunday at 5PM EST, ESPN is covering four big races. If you like Jeanine Edwards as much as we do, you’ll be riveted for the entire two hour telecast.

We’ll get a little more in depth - after the jump…

LIKE CHRISTMAS AND ARBOR DAY ROLLED INTO ONE

The schedule? We’ll see the Test Stakes and Whitney from Saratoga, followed by the Matchmaker and Haskell live from Monmouth.

The Grade I (GI) Test Stakes will be run on Saturday, and features three year-old fillies looking to point to the Distaff division for the Breeders’ Cup card. The favorite is J. Eric Kruljac’s Leave Me Alone under Kent Desormeaux. Keep an eye on Patrick Biancone’s Sense of Style in this spot too, as she’s currently sporting an undefeated record at Saratoga.

The GI Whitney is one of the most well-known and respected primers for the BC Classic division, and should be an excellent race with a big-name field. The favorite is Saint Liam, but the dual-entry of Commentator and Sir Shackleton is close behind. Only 30/1 shot Wiggins is an unknown quantity, even to the casual horseplayer, with Pollard’s Vision, Limehous, Eurosilver, and Swingforthefences suiting up as well.

Sunday’s Monmouth stakes card starts with the GIII Matchmaker Stakes, which preps to the BC Fillies and Mares Turf class. Early entries for this one aren’t available, but keep your eye on closers rather than front-runners on the turf. It always seems like the pace-setters get nipped in the final strides in these races.

Of course, this all leads up to the GI Haskell Invitational on Sunday afternoon. This is another BC Classic prep, and has a few other big names that didn’t choose to run in the Whitney on Saturday. Look for Sun King and Roman Ruler (one of our favorites) to lead the charge at the windows.

Test Stakes [NYRA]
Whitney Handicap [NYRA]
Matchmaker Handicap [NYRA]
Haskell Invitational [NYRA]

Fantasy Baseball: Palmeiro Suspended, Owners Shouldn’t Feel, Um, Deflated

READ MORE: ESPN, Fantasy Baseball, Rafael Palmeiro, Tristan Cockroft

When Baltimore Orioles’ first baseman Rafael Palmeiro failed his steroid exam, the big story was the impact it’ll have on his career and how much of an idiot he looked like after being so adamant in front of Congress last March 12th during the major league baseball steroid hearings. But those of you who drafted him in the sixth or seventh round probably let out a collective ‘eh’ when the 10-game suspension was handed down. In his Out of the Box column, ESPN’s Tristan Cockroft pretty much summed up the feelings of Palmeiro fantasy owners everywhere:

The funny thing is that, as a fantasy baseball junkie throughout Palmeiro’s career, I can’t remember a single season in which anyone would have listed him as an “elite” player. He certainly never would have been a No. 1 overall pick — that instead would always go to your Barry Bonds, Pedro Martinez, Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez types — and most everyone would knock on the guy merely because he played first base or designated hitter — and those, of course, were “easy” positions to fill.

Palmeiro Suspended [ESPNInsider(sub. req.)
Cancel Palmeiro’s Ticket to Cooperstown [MSNBC]

2005 WSOP: Come To Jesus

READ MORE: 2005 WSOP, Chris Ferguson, ESPN, Poker

So are we finally getting actual honest-to-god ESPN WSOP coverage from the Rio tonight? No, not yet. Instead, they’re trotting out another circuit event featuring a star-studded final table. We put our crack research staff on the case to dig up information on the participants:

· Prahlad Friedman - the world’s eleventh-ranked Hindi-Hassidic poker player.
· Jim Worth - heir to the Little League equipment-maker fortune.
· Chad Brown - former pass-rush linebacking Seahawk, now savvy Patriot veteran.
· Chris “Jesus” Ferguson - changing gutshots to the nuts since 1988.
· Mark Hanna - frequent Tonight Show guest, brought a koala bear and a rare Amazonian spitting gecko with him from the zoo.
· Reno Williamson - Fred Ward resurrects his role as a “dead” cop trained to become a secret government assassin - the adventure begins.
· Naseem Salem - linebacker out of Alabama drafted by the Niners a couple years ago. Showed promise, but has been dinged up throughout his young career.
· Alex Prendis Jr., Lonnie Alexander, and Keith Sexton - we got nothing.

Damned if we don’t have to get ourselves some new interns. Or maybe hire a fact-checker or two. Anyway, spoilers are all over the recap we linked to below, so click at your own risk. On the plus side, the article did say that due to the relatively low blind level at the time they got down short-handed, this table probably had the best percentage of hands played to a flop of any final table in No Limit WSOP history. Should be fun to watch.

Results of WSOP circuit event [PokerPages]

WSOP 2005: Norman Chad Lights Up Your Tuesday

READ MORE: ESPN, Erick Lindgren, Jesus Ferguson, Mimi Tran, Norman Chad, WSOP 2005

It’s Tuesday, so you know what that means… No, we’re not talking crab leg night at the Chinese buffet, we’re talking about new episodes of the World Series of Poker on ESPN. This episode is the last of the “circuit events,” this one the $10k Circuit Championship from Harrah’s Atlantic City.

Dancing like drunken monkeys for your pleasure tonight: Mimi Tran, Erick Lindgren, and Jesus Ferguson, among six others vying for top honors.

We’re linking you to our friends at Las Vegas Vegas for info, but be forewarned that they do reveal the winner - you didn’t think this was live, did you?

Tuesday Night is WSOP TV Night on ESPN [Las Vegas Vegas]