Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker: New Vanity Fair Editor Odds

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This week’s Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker delves into the wicked world of media—specifically, the rumor circulating thatVanity Fair editor-in-chief Graydon Carter could soon be ousted. You know Vanity Fair. That’s the magazine that had a naked, pregnant, and spray-painted Demi Moore on the cover like 12 years ago. Vanity Fair is also the preferred magazine of choice for fat mommies all over the world to read during their weekend at the beach. After the jump, Jeff Koyen, former editor of the New York Press and resident media crank, breaks down the odds on to whom the editorship of the foppy-haired magazine maven will go.

Everyone’s favorite cream-topped Canadian-born magazine dandy,Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Graydon Carter, is once again rumored to be on the outs with Condé Nast overlord S.I. Newhouse Jr. What’s behind this latest alleged spat between these titans of publishing?

Could it be that, despite the huge publicity, “I’m the Almost Dead Guy They Called Deep Throat” is a dull, 7000-word sales pitch written by an attorney-journo hunting a payday on behalf of Mark Felt’s cash-strapped family? Carter, no doubt, will snag an executive producer credit on the Imagine production of the movie based on John D. O’Connor’s story, while the Felt family will see jackshit for selling their big secret. Fortunately for the 91-year-old Deep Throat, increased dementia means dog-food dinners taste like foie gras.

So then, who takes the throne if Carter gets Si’s famously pointy boot in the ass?

Kurt Andersen, Co-founder of Spy with Carter, magazine dogma:

Spy co-founder Andersen is second only to Carter himself for
most disappointing career trajectory: from upstart punk to fauxtellectual blowhard. He’d drop his New York column and NPR show, and be lunching with Michael Wolff before the ink was dry.

Odds:3-1

Tina Brown, former Talk editor, canned TV show host:

That TV thing didn’t quite work out, and sitting around the house with husband Harry is wearing thin. The level of starfucking at VF is up to her standards, so why not a homecoming?

Odds:5-1

Arianna Huffington, failed politician, socialite, blogger:

“No, no, you take the job Tina, you deserve it dahling.”

“Don’t be daft, Arianna, it’s a lovely chance for you to have a real
outlet.”

Cat fight! Cat fight!

Odds: 20-1

Michael Wolff, media columnist, failed New York magazine buyer:

The man who would be King of New York is a solid writer and by
all accounts a surly motherfucker. The perfect editor. Considering his predecessor’s equestrian hairstyle, bald wouldn’t be a handicap.

Odds: 25-1

Toby Young, former Vanity Fair writer, prick:

Nothing less than a kick in Graydon’s nuts. Longshot, but fingers are
crossed.

Odds: 200-1

Some British Dude We’ve Never Heard Of:

You’d be surprised how many English people actually speak English.
Some, better than us. Give one of ‘em a crackerjack American copy editor and a team of interns, and count the minutes until The New York Times brings out the ol’ “British Invasion” headline.

Odds: 2-1

Art Cooper, former editor of GQ, dead:

Yeah, and so what? It’s a figurehead position anyway.

Odds: 500-1

Previously: Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker: Paris Hilton Engagement [Oddjack]