Fashion Fantasy

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We’ve met very few women that understand the draw of fantasy football. It’s tough to explain how we can get upset when Jeb Freaking Putzier gets the look near the goal line instead of Mike Anderson, but now women have something equally incomprehensible to explain—Fantasy Fashion League. The Detroit Free Press tries their best:

“Each player has a roster of designers and celebrities that make up the player’s team. There are six teams in a league. Players log points for celebrity and designer sightings in three categories: red-carpet events (such as the Oscars); daily trade publications (basically Women’s Wear Daily and InStyle.com); and 15 monthly fashion magazines.”

So pre-Oscars on E! your girlfriend is chanting “Show Dakota Fanning in Versace… show Dakota Fanning in Versace” under her breath, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that common ground you’ve been missing since she won’t let you do that thing to her anymore.

Football widows turn to Fantasy Fashion League [Detroit Free Press]

If a Plane Crashes in Denver, Blame It On Fantasy Football

READ MORE: Denver International Airport, Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports

Apparently there is much more to distract airline employees than the usual things like booze,faulty landing gear, and box-cutter wielding hijackers. Denver International Airport suspended access to CBS Sportsline’s fantasy football page after the site saw more than 30,000 hits in one day from internal servers on Sunday, Sept. 18th. The airline said that it will now require employees to use the public computers—costing $1 for every four minutes of use—if they want start scouring the waiver wires during game time. We wonder if the JetBlue employees were all wrapped up in a similar fiasco when that plane had to make an emergency landing a few weeks back?

Denver Airport Cuts Off Access to Fantasy Football on Employee Computers [Summit Daily News]

Poker Night Need a Boost? How About a Gal Pal?

READ MORE: Craig's List, Fantasy Sports, Gal Pal, Gambling, Poker"

As if poker playing, fantasy sports-loving dudes needed any more assurances of their nerd-dom, one enterprising(or deranged) young lady has decided that a good majority of these men are in need of reacquainting themselves with female companionship.

From Craig’s List New York City:

I’m the one you want!

Are you a group of 20something guys, who hit the bars, play poker, and have fantasy sports teams? Well, what you need to round out your group is a gal pal. Because what a gal provides no guy can give you. A gal pal is not a girlfriend but a girl who is a friend. She will take you shopping if you need a girl’s eye, be your movie buddy (and you don’t have to pay for her movie ticket, unless of course you WANT to!), and tag along to all events(she has respect for the boys only nights and won’t ruin your fun)—not to mention help you plan dates and relate to women.
Gay guys welcome, but in my experience you have more than your share of women hovering and cooing in your midst—I don’t want to compete with that =P

If you are a guy with a solid group of guy friends that is missing a gal pal, please contact me. I’m 24, single, sassy, smart, and sitting here waiting to here from you. Though dating within the guy group is strictly prohibited I have a ton of single girl friends and I am an excellent wing—trust me, I’ll never cockblock you

I used to have a group of guys in college who I gal palled for, but they all moved away or stayed put but got attached and disappeared….I miss being a gal pal, won’t you drop me a line and spice up my life?

Need a Gal Pal for Your Guy Group? [Craig’s List]

The Commodification of Pro Athletes Continues

READ MORE: Fantasy Sports, Futures Markets, ProTrade

Monday’s launch of ProTrade shows just how more and more the fantasy sports industry is starting to resemble legitimate market predictors—and how you can better marry your Wall Street knowledge and your sports obsessiveness. Set up like other futures markets like Intrade and Tradesports, Pro Trade enables the investor to buy and sell athletes based on their performances on their own virtual stock market. Right now, its only NFL Players and no real money is exchanged—for now. But there are cash prizes awarded to members for winning various incentive based competitions on the site. The system was started by Mike Kerns and Jeffery Ma with Michael Lewis’ “MoneyBall” as an inspiration. It’s a data-heads dream and is not reccommended for the casual fantasy sports nerd—this is more geared toward the Football Outsiders crew then let’s say the Yahoo Fantasy Sports’ enthusiast. Right now, however, the site is for some reason not running. Tease.

Online Sports Market Turns Atheletes Into Stocks [MSNBC]
ProTrade Home [ProTrade]

First Fantasy Casualty of the Season: Javon Walker

READ MORE: Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports, Green Bay Packers, Javon Walker

Plenty of fantasy football teams took a major blow to their starting wide receiver corps when the Green Bay Packers’ Javon Walker went down with a knee injury in the third quarter of yesterday’s loss to the Detroit Lions. It’s pretty apparent that the Packers will suck all sorts of ass this year and Walker was probably going to be the lone bright spot them.(Ahman Green sweats too much.) But, alas, he has a torn ACL. Watch how many people pick-up Robert Ferguson this morning, then point and laugh.

Walker Could Be Done For Season [Yahoo Sports]

Fantasy Sports: Scott Engel Chews Through His Cage

READ MORE: ESPN Insider, Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports, Scott Engel

We’re absolutely terrified of Scott Engel. Sometimes we won’t even open our Insider account during football season just because his spooky-ass visage may pop up and scare us:

See? Scary! Imagine you’re just reading a nice letter from a fantasy football league owner discussing whether or not he should start the Pittsburgh Steeler’s Willie Parker or the Carolina Panther’s Stephen Davis and then….

YAGGGH! He’s terrifying. ESPN needs to do something about this. And for the love of god, please don’t let Engel have one of those creepy animatronic heads like some of the Page 2 columnists. We’ll have nightmares for that will last a lifetime.

FFL Mailbag [ESPN INsider(sub.req.)]

Fantasy Football: Mike Harmon’s Awkward Crush on Joey Harrington

READ MORE: Detroit Lions, Fantasy Sports, Joey Harrington, Mike Harmon

We love the palapable amount of sincerity Yahoo Sports’ Mike Harmon pours into his every column; there’s so much earnestness and overall likeability about the guy you just want to pack him in a suitcase and take him everywhere you go. But, today, Harmon seems to be pushing the aw-shucks-I-don’t-know routine a little far when he’s offering up Detroit Lions’ quarterback Joey Harrington as a sleeper pick. We’re all aware that this guy has so many offensive weapons and that with Kevin Jones’ emergence there should be more time in the pocket for Harrington to throw to one of his 15 first-round draft pick wide receivers he’s got out there. But, a sleeper pick? Is round 17 really considered a sleeper pick? The Philadelphia Eagles’ Ryan Moats—that’s a sleeper pick. But Harrington? Come on, Michael. Don’t do us like that.

Harrington on the Hot Seat [Yahoo Fantasy Sports]

Fantasy Sports: More Local Columnist Perspective

READ MORE: Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports, Fantasy Sports Columnists

One of the best parts about fantasy sports season is when we get the local, rube-ish perspective outside of the usual so-called experts. Yes, in addition to the Brandon Funstons and Eric Karabells there also fellas like Mike Murphy of the Marion Daily Republican in Marion, Illinois. Good Ol’ Murph gives us the everyman perspective about what it’s like to be a fantasy dweeb. And he has the best picture out of any fantasy dork-a-sauras out there. Look at the face? You know he owns at least twelve pieces of clothing with “Murph” monograms. And our buddy Murph gives us the lowdown on his fantasy prep work:

I had bought two Fantasy Football Magazines several months before and usually spend at least a few minutes each night before bed reading about certain players and teams. The magazines cost about $8 each but are worth their weight in gold to a serious fantasy player. The Internet is also a valuable tool. So much so in fact, that you can subscribe to various Web sites that will update player injuries and indicate who might be ahead of who in the battle for starting spots on certain teams.

Yep, unfortunately Murph has also just entered the 90’s. We love him anyway.

Fantasy Sports Are Bigger Than Ever [Marion Daily Republican]

Fantasy Football: Player Insurance

READ MORE: Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports, Player Insurance

We all know how it goes: One of your top draft picks goes down and completely effs up your season. Oakland Raiders’ wide receiver Randy Moss injures himself in a bong-hit contest and is out until the playoffs. Philadelphia Eagles’quarterback Donovan McNabb breaks his leg. Or the ???? Saints’ running back Deuce McCallister tears his ACL. But now, for those of you in money leagues, you can protect your investment through the Fantasy Player Protection. For a small fee you can purchase insurance from a list of top players that can completely ruin your season if they go down and save yourself some lost income.

Fantasy Player Protection [Fantasy Player Protection]

Fantasy Football: It’s an Absolute Nerdfest at Yahoo Sports

READ MORE: Brandon Funston, Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports

Come September, all of these types of stories will be gone. Hopefully. However, right now, until every fantasy sports reporter goes through their 897th draft, we’ll have to read about their scintilating draft strategy. And today’s is a doozy. Yahoo Sports’ lead band geek Brandon Funston pulls together a gaggle of his bestest fantasy boobs and has them dissect round-by-breathtaking-round of Funston’s Yahoo Experts and Family League draft. Set aside a few minutes to read it over—some of the stuff is interesting—but then you’ll realize half way through it that, you too, have no life.

Experts Draft: Daunte Drops [Yahoo Fantasy Sports]

Fantasy Football: Sometimes You Can Geek Out Too Much

READ MORE: Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports

Fantasy football columnist Jeff Birnbaum gets all chesty with fantasy players and their little games they play to try to improve their season:

Yes, for those of you who truly bleed pigskin, September is a time for over-analyzing, second-guessing and reading lots of overpriced fantasy football magazines in hopes of getting even the slightest edge over the rest of the fantasy owners in your league.You’re wasting your time. Put down that stat sheet. Cancel your subscription to ESPN Insider. Stop playing little mind games with your friends by lying to them about who you’re going to pick just to see if they’ll open up and tell you who they’re going to pick. It won’t work. So don’t try.

Bernie’s Fantasy Football Advice [The Maneater]

Oddjack’s First Fantasy Football Team of the Year

READ MORE: Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports, Oddjack

Draft is over. Thank God. How long does it take for some people to pick a fucking kicker? Anyway, here is our first fantasy football team of the year. Yes. We know we don’t have a quarterback. Stop laughing:

Meet Heather on Plane 2005:

QB
C. Pennington
(NYJ - QB)

WR
C. Johnson
(Cin - WR)

WR
N. Burleson
(Min - WR)

RB
D. McAllister
(NO - RB)

RB
K. Jones
(Det - RB)

TE
T. Heap
(Bal - TE)

W/R
D. Foster
(Car - RB)

BN
R. Brown
(Mia - RB)

BN
Ro. Williams
(Det - WR)

BN
D. Branch
(NE - WR)
O
BN
J. Harrington
(Det - QB)

BN
N. Davenport
(GB - RB)


K
J. Carney (NO)

DEF
Buffalo