Revel In Your Corpulence: Tomer Benvenisti, Friend To The Fat Man

READ MORE: 2+2, Felicia Lee, Gastric Bypass, Poker, Tomer Benvenisti

If stomach stapling is the diet of choice for today’s active poker player (cough), then why does it seem that only mama’s boys and whining little wannabe Zen Buddhists don’t seem to have taken Little Debbie and the Twinkies Cowboy hostage in their jowls?

Like beer-league softball and the great sport of bowling, America has found a pasttime for our morbidly obese. And we’d like to nominate Tomer Benvenisti as the Patron Saint of fat-ass poker players everywhere.

Why Tomer? Well, first off he’s Italian. We fully support the complete range of cured meats that end in vowels, as well as the variety of dishes with awesomely fun names to pronounce like “braciole” and “gabbagool.” Second, he’s delightfully doughy. Look at him, there’s no way he disarms two muggers like Greg Raymer. He’s the perfect role model for today’s sedentary man.

There are lots of fat guys out there to choose from, but give us a guy whose pores reek like the trash can at an Italian deli. Give us a guy who licks his fingers clean, but only after his fifth cannoli has built up the appropriate amount of residue. You can have your Polish and your German tubby folk, give us Tomer Benvenisti and a pound of Prosciutto. He’s the man.

Previously: The Incredible Shrinking Robert Williamson [Oddjack]
Previously: More Gastric Bypass Poker Playing Goodness: Howard Lederer [Oddjack]

More Gastric Bypass Poker Playing Goodness: Howard Lederer

READ MORE: 2+2, Felicia Lee, Gastric Bypass, Howard Lederer, Poker

Think stomach stapling is only the domain of slovenly fat-ass housewives who eat so much sausage (not a euphemism) their fingers permanently taste like fennel? You, my friends, would be wrong.

Enter Howard “The Professor” Lederer, who has turned a talent for cards into a gig where he sits nearly immobile for up to 18 hours a day. That’s gotta be a great lifestyle for your health. Since we’re prone to leaping to wild assumptions, we’re going to tell you we assume Lederer took the easy way to losing a reported 140 pounds with the surgery, and now subsists on a half an apple and three Capri Sun juice pouches per day.

Frankly, we liked him better when he looked like he had just devoured Commander Riker.

Previously: The Incredible Shrinking Robert Williamson [Oddjack]

The Incredible Shrinking Robert Williamson

READ MORE: 2 + 2, Felicia Lee, Poker, Robert Williamson

The know-it-all posters at 2 + 2 have deviated away from their usual batch of hand histories and strategies and are wading in the murky depths of Oddjack territory. The topic? Poker player Robert Williamson’s complete body makeover thanks to gastric bypass surgery. But, apparently, Williamson isn’t the only former fatty who’s gone under the knife. Poker blogger Felicia Lee claims within the thread that she knows at least “a few dozen” who’ve had the procedure. A few dozen? Has this vanity come about because of poker’s popularity and the chance to be on television or is it due to a genuine concern about good health? Any other names of former poker fatties would be greatly appreciated and should be sent here.

Robert Williamson the Heavy [2 + 2]