NFL Betting: Which Team Will Terrell Owens Have To Apologize To Next?

READ MORE: Drew Rosenhaus, Futures, NFL Betting, Philadelphia Eagles, Terrell Owens

Well, for those of you who just witnessed super agent dickhead Drew Rosenhaus completely make the Terrell Owens’ situation 400 times worse, it’s time for the betting to begin. BetCRIS is the first to offer lines on which team Terrell Owens will play for. The front-runner at this point is surpsingly the jilted brides of the Baltimore Ravens at 10 to 1. The Green Bay Packers are second favorites at 11 to 1. The Atlanta Falcons and Miami Dolphins are listed as 18 to 1 favorites. The Philadelphia Eagles are given 20 to 1 odds right now, which may be a great bet considering how well the team receives his half-hearted apology to the organization. Here are the full list of odds:

TERRELL OWENS TEAM FOR THE 2006 SEASON

• ATLANTA FALCONS 18 to 1
• BALTIMORE RAVENS 10 to 1
• DALLAS COWBOYS 20 to 1
• DENVER BRONCOS 18 to 1
• GREEN BAY PACKERS 11 to 1
• INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 20 to 1
• JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 20 to 1
• KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 20 to 1
• MIAMI DOLPHINS 18 to 1
• MINNESOTA VIKINGS 20 to 1
• NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 20 to 1
• PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 20 to 1
• SAN DIEGO CHARGERS 20 to 1
• SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 20 to 1
• NONE 22 to 1

Which Team Will T.O. Play For in 2006? [BetCRIS]

NFL Coaching Props: Tice May Be Impaled Via Viking Orgy

READ MORE: Coaches, Futures, NCAA Betting, NFL Betting

If the piss-poor start, the troubles at quarterback, the injuries had Mike Tice’s coaching tenure hanging by a tattered string…well, the Viking sex boat orgy may just clipped it. According to betting sportsbook WagerWeb.com, Tice is now getting 1/1 odds to be the first coaching casualty of the year in both college and professional football. The St. Louis Rams’ Mike Martz and his alien heart ailment are at 4/1 and Dom Capers and his shitty crew of Houston Texans is at 6/1. The leading college coach to get the boot mid-season is Bobby Ross of his woeful Army team. We always thought Ross had a striking resemblance to company Sergeant Hulka from Stripes, so that kind of makes sense in weird, ironic sort of way.

Coach to Be Fired or Resign? [WagerWeb]
Bet on the next NFL Coach to Be Fired or Resign For the NFL Season [Gambling911]

MLB Playoff Betting: Side Bets For the Frivolous Spender and Champagne Enthusiast

READ MORE: Futures, MLB Betting, Parlays, Player Props, Side Bets

· Pinnacle MLB Pick 4 parlay paying out a huge amount of money: take STL/HOU/BOS/LAA to make final four win +7218 [Pinnacle Sports]

· Padres are +330 to win Divisional Series over Cardinals. You know there’s a reason to wear that Xavier Nady jersey. [WagerWeb]

· First homer in Yankees/Angels game? How about Steve Finley at 7/1. Just the type of guy to turn it on in the post season. [Bodog]

· Bartolo Colon getting same odds as Mike Mussina for most strikeouts at BetCRIS. We’d absolutely put our dog or our 82-year-old grandmother on the line to get that. [BetCRIS]

· Angels score first +110 at BetMaker. Bag it. Tag it. Sell it to the butcher in the store room. [BetMaker]

MLB Betting: Congratulations Padres! Now, Leave.

READ MORE: Futures, MLB, MLB Betting, Playoffs", San Diego Padres

After winning the National League West pennant last night, the San Diego Padres have quickly established themselves as one of the most chump-tastic franchises ever to reach the postseason, sporting a lofty 79-79 record, which in many ways has oddsmakers dismissing them from the playoffs all together. Right now, the Padres are +800 to win the National League pennant according to bookmaker BetonSports.com and may see even greater odds from other sportsbooks as soon as they finish making their post-season lines. The Padres will most likely face the St. Louis Cardinals—barring the Philadelphia Phillies win the wildcard(NOPE)—which will most likely be done in three games. However, our Corky-esque sibling over at Deadspin seems a bit worried about his Cardinals for some reason. Ah, Midwesterners.

Odds Stacked Against Padres [Covers]

No More Dreaming [SF Gate]

Betting Houses Offer Betting on Houses

READ MORE: Futures, Housing Market, Pinnacle Sports

Pinnacle Sports, jocked-out home of sports betting galore, has taken a cue from all the Hedge Street boys and started offering odds on the U.S. housing market. Pinnacle has opened betting lines on the median home prices forthe third quarter of the year in more than 40 markets where bettors can wager on the over/under at -105 (i.e., win $1 for every $1.05 bet). No you can’t bet on housing prices in Biloxi, Mississipi or New Orleans, so don’t ask.

You Can Bet Home Prices Will Continue to Rise [PR Newswire]

Bet on Roger Clemens for Steroid Use Now!

READ MORE: Futures, MLB Betting, Roger Clemens, Steroids

Oddjack has received a tip from a reputable sports reporter that the rumors circulating about Houston Astros’ pitcher Roger Clemens testing positive for steroids are true and that MLB will release a statement this Monday. WagerWeb is still offering +200 on Clemens testing positive.

MLB Futures [WagerWeb]
Betting on the Giambi Juice [Oddjack]

NHL Betting: Do They Know He’s Not Playing?

READ MORE: Futures, NHL Betting, Phoenix Coyotes, Wayne Gretzky

Apparently, Sportsbook.com is drunk. They’ve slashed the odds on the Phoenix Coyotes’ Stanley Cup hopes from 100/1 to 30/1 after former hockey great Wayne Gretzky signed on as coach. The Coyotes, who have yet to win a playoff series in their short history in the NHL, are now apparently proportionally better thanks to Gretzky’s stoic, pretty boy leadership. We hope Gretzky realizes that sometimes hockey players get checked and may even have to drop their gloves and grapple with an opposing team for the sake of momentum. Gretzky plans on motivating the old-fashioned way like new Notre Dame coach Charlie Weiss who showed his team Rudy during one of his first meetings as head coach. Gretzky will follow the same tactic, although he will show some of the memorable films from his wife Janet Jones’ career. Look for the Coyotes to be reciting lines from Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach to psyche themselves up before games.

Sportsbook.com Improves Phoenix Coyote’s Odds with Gretzky Behind Bench [PR Newswire]

NHL Betting: Free Agent Craziness Moves Future Lines

READ MORE: Futures, NHL Betting, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Toronto Maple Leafs

Hey, does anybody out there realize that hockey’s back? Well, not yet, exactly, but in a couple months every home in America will have their televisions set to nightly NHL games and be engaged in arguments over dinner about whether or not the Phoenix Coyotes did enough in the off season to shore-up their blue line. Okay, that won’t happen.

However, that has not prevented Sportsbook.com from releasing its updated NHL odds for this year’s potential Stanley Cup champion. The surly cheesesteak loving brutes of Philadelphia are the favorites at 5/1 to win the Stanley Cup but other clubs, thanks to very active offseasons, have moved up considerably in recent weeks. The Toronto Maple Leafs recent signing of cloudy-headed center Eric Lindros improved their odds from 15/1 to 12/1 and the Pittsburgh Penguins drafting of hockey phenom Sidney Crosby saw their odds jump from 100/1 to 35/1. Hopefully, your town is close enough to the Canadian border where you can follow all the action and not have to wait until playoff time in the spring to keep up with what’s going on.

Oddsmakers Like the Leafs Chances After Lindros Signing [Covers]
NHL Futures [Sportsbook]

NBA Futures: Shareef Don’t Like It

READ MORE: Futures, NBA Betting, New Jersey Nets, Portland Trailblazers, Shareef Abdur-Rahim

Many bookmakers put the New Jersey Nets as a top favorite to win the Eastern Conference when it was announced they were in the process of finalizig a trade for the Portland Trailblazers’ forward Shareef Abdur-Rahim. Well, now that the trade has been rescinded, so have most of the NBA future lines. Gambling 911 reports that VIPsports.com was one of the only bookmakers to still have their lines set at 30 to 1 for the Nets. There was no official report as to what caused Rahim to fail his physical, but we can take a guess that it had something to do with him being on the Trailblazers. In the last few years, this team has become the Cypress Hill of the NBA thanks to its affinity for all things dope. In fact, it was rumored that the Blazers encouraged the use of hemp products like team towels, socks, and former assistant coach Jim Lynam.

Nets Kill Trade for Rahim: Futures Off the Board [G911]
Nets Rescind Trade for Rahim [Portland Trail Blazers]

NFL Betting: The Least Fun Thing to Do in New Orleans is Watch Football

READ MORE: Futures, Jim Haslett, NFL Betting, New Orleans Saints, Props

The New Orleans Saints are once again destined for mediocrity sprinkled with moments of greatness in 2005. Although loaded with offensive talent, the Saints suspect defense and inconsistency make them once again a team not likely to make the playoffs or win more than 8 games. The win total for the Saints this year is 7.5 and they have 55-1 odds to win the Super Bowl this year, however, Covers Stephen Noyer says both those lines are ones that should be completely ignored by bettors this year. Instead, they should focus on the fate of Saints head coach Jim Haslett. Haslett is listed by Canbet as 5-1 to be the first NFC coach fired, which may be a blessing for the beleaguered former defensive coordinator. Dude looks like he just needs to get away from this horrible franchise and start over.

NFL Season Preview: New Orleans Saints 2005 First NFC Coach to Be Fired or Resign [Canbet]

MLB Betting: Three Teams to Look at For Future World Series Payouts

READ MORE: Baseball, Betting, Futures, Oakland Athletics, St. Louis Cardinals, Washington Nationals

Oakland Athletics, +8000: Sure they always fall apart in the playoffs, but their pitching is always solid, the Angels are starting to fall apart and the Yankees and Red Sox could always wear each other out. And MC Hammer was once their bat boy.

Washington Nationals,+2000: Window may be closing, but stranger things have happened. Look at the Marlins two years ago for a prime example of a team from nowhere going all the way. With Hernandez hurt(but playing), it may be too late for the Nats, but still a solid investment at +2,000. However, all of this depends on how the Supreme Court nomination hearings play out. Judge John G. Roberts is allegedly a Braves fan.

St. Louis Cardinals, 15 to 4: So, apparently you can still make money off of this team that is seemingly going to dominate throughout the entire year and could very well dominate in the World Series as well. Can we really make money off betting on the Cardinals? Not enough to pay for our daughter’s wedding, but we could possibly get her a limo for prom night.

World Series Odds (Left Side of Page) [Gambling 911]

NBA Futures: Bettors See Brown’s Bags Packed

READ MORE: Coaching, Futures, Larry Brown, NBA

If the books at Pinnacle Sports are correct, former Detroit Pistons’coach and Samsonite pitchman Larry Brown will be coaching the New York Knicks next season. The latest lines have shifted Brown from 9/4 to 1/2 favorite. The odds are 8/5 that he won’t coach in the NBA at all or 17/1 that he will coach another NBA team. Brown, a master at turning piles of hen shit into gleaming piles of diamonds, will most likely have the toughest job in his coach career as he tries to guide Isiah Thomas’ patchwork of overpaid, overrated players into something resembling a winning team.

Bettors Back Larry Brown as Next Knicks Coach [PR Newswire]