Mrs. Arieh Wants Your $11 For These Lousy T-Shirts

READ MORE: Josh Arieh, Poker

Our good, close and personal friend Josh Arieh was feeling a little less than talky today. Thank god for the little woman, right? Angela Arieh loves her man, but is a little disturbed over his business acumen—or lack thereof. He was never going to make it big in fashion. Here’s Angela:

“As most of you know, Josh got in a little over his head with this Poker Garb thing. While I think the concept he had is wonderful, the overall feeling of the actual shirts was underwhelming and now we have a large quantity of shirts being sent to our house…once the invoices are paid that is. Very large invoices I might add. So, as much as I hate to become a salesperson out of my garage, it looks at though that will be my next quest. We have had some requests for the shirts through emails of readers and once I get them, we will answer those requests. I don’t know what a fair price will be yet but it will be the bare minimum amount just to ATTEMPT to cover our losses. I will even force Josh to sit down and sign ever damn one of those shirts if I have to. You can always sleep in them or something right?? Use them for dust rags, to wash your car, or wear to do yardwork, I don’t care just buy one!! Otherwise, Josh will be in the doghouse for quite a while for this one… In case you haven’t noticed, Josh is a little A.D.D and loses interest in most of the projects he starts before they are actually finished. I won’t say that is what happened with the Poker Garb stuff because it wasn’t, but this isn’t the first project that I’ve had to finish for him!”

She’s a lovely woman (look at her fondle that dolphin!), but she should ease back on the desperation just a little bit. You can’t hustle 7500 poorly inked t-shirts by whining. What they need is one of those catsup-popsicle-to-a-white-gloved-eskimo types of sales guys, maybe someone with suspenders, slicked back hair and a pinky ring. Of course, we’re just dancing around the whole purpose of this post here. It’s been too long, we just can’t let it go without saying it just one more time… Cinnabon. Damn man, we miss you Josh. We’ll always have pastries.

Blog from Little Ole Angela [JoshArieh.com]
Josh Arieh Archive [Oddjack]

Josh Arieh: Turned 31 and We Missed It

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh

Sigh. So, yes, we have rescinded our fangs and are no longer chomping on the meaty neck of our favorite poker player Josh Arieh, but we would be remiss in mentioning that since our silence, we’ve also missed his birthday. Josh has had some very outstanding posts in our absence: his wife took him to a birthday dinner, a heartfelt message to his fans, followed up by an off-the-handle rant that was vintage Bon. Oh, those were the days. However, we did put together a birthday card for him.

Happy Birthday Me!!! Aruba Addition [Josh Arieh]

Josh Arieh: More Cinnabon Revolt

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh

From another cranky reader upset over the death of Cinnabon:

Look here, you faggots, either you continue bashing that asstool Josh Arierusudxj;fs!**@ or I remove your bookmark from my toolbar.

THANKS!
Dan

Our fledgling readership or our dignity? Sigh.

Previously: Josh Arieh: R.I.P Cinnabon [Oddjack]
That’s Mr. Puss Bag to You [Oddjack]

That’s Mr. Puss Bag to You

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh, Reader Mail

Yesterday, we said goodbye to Cinnabon and today we get flamed by an irate reader who apparently liked being hit over the head with the same joke 55 times. Or he really hates Josh Arieh. Tough call:

i can’t believe you’re not going to make fun of Josh
Arieh any more. Is there are reason for this? Did he
threaten to sue you or somthing? He’s a douchbag and
needs to be continually ridiculed as much as possible.

you guy are a bunch of puss bags, if you stop.

For the record, we did not get sued. Thank you for asking, however.

Josh Arieh: R.I.P Cinnabon

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh, Poker Players

Today is a sad day for us at Oddjack as we bid farewell to our merciless heckling of Josh Arieh, aka Cinnabon, forever and ever. No longer will we be scrutinizing his confounding blog, his pastry face and his over-sized ego. We had no mission. We had no reason to pummel him with junior high insults other than the fact that it was fun for us and an annoyance to many. We’ve been told that perhaps this is not the best way to endear ourselves to people. Lesson learned—partially. If you’d like to enjoy Oddjack’s Josh Arieh bashing, well, there are magical web archives and a glorious search menu for you to troll through. We wish Josh well and we will never forget him and we thank him for his patronage. Adieu, Cinnabon.

Previously: Cinnabon Archives

Josh Arieh’s Cinnabon Wikipedia Moment

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh, Poker Players

Because, sometimes, we just like to do things for the sake of doing them.

Josh Arieh [Wikipedia]
Josh Arieh [Josh Arieh]
Previously: Anatomy of an Asshole: The Josh Arieh Compendium [Oddjack]

Anatomy of an Asshole: The Josh Arieh Compendium

READ MORE: Iggy, Josh Arieh, Party Poker Blog, WSOP 2004

It’s unfortunate when other blogs cover Josh Arieh. We don’t know what to do with ourselves. Especially when they do such an exhaustive profile. But for those of you curious about the ascent of the Cinnabon—as we are, natch—check out Iggy’s revisitation of our favorite chubbed-out poker player. This is the Infinite Jest of poker blog posts, but well worth it. The post includes e-mails from Erick Lindgren, Daniel Negreanu, Paul Phillips, et al commenting about Ariehs’ infamous WSOP 2004 outbursts. An excerpt from Negreanu’s letter:

I

consider Josh a friend but the purpose of this post isn’t to defend his behaviour during the WSOP broadcast. Anybody who watched it, INCLUDING Josh knows that he was out of line on a few occassions.

The reason for this post is to illustrate how much power we (the players) give over to the people putting on a show when we sign those release forms. Basically, once we sign those papers they can tell any story they want to tell, and they can tell it any way they feel with get the best ratings. Hey, I can’t say I blame them.

What I can say is that it was pretty clear to me that they took those few bits (where Josh was out of line) and summed up his character based on those actions.

For example, there was one clip where they focused in on Josh looking flustered by Matt Dean’s call with JJ. Josh was just looking over at Erick like, “What the?” He wasn’t saying anything to Matt, he wasn’t going off on him or anything like that, but they used that shot to make Josh look even worse.

Iggy’s Arieh Post [Party Poker Blog]

Josh Arieh: Promises More Cinnabon Tantrums on TV

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh, Poker, WSOP 2005

Josh Arieh has awakened from his pastry-induced slumber and given us a great entry today on his blog about watching himself in the Pot Limit Omaha tournament on the ESPN’s World Series of Poker. He reminisces about last year’s outing by wormy Norman Chad as poker’s new King Twat, questions the generous amount of coverage to Chris Ferguson, and then, in what surely must’ve been a Jesus toast-like epiphany, he considers how he comes off on television:

Anyway…. I have come to realize that being an asshole on TV is much more entertaining. Maybe Phil Hellmuth was on to something when he thought of being a baby…..

Where do I go from here??? I dont know… I’m not sure what to do… people say that its always easiest and more entertaining to just be yourself…. I think that being myself was extremely boring and dull to watch. Maybe next time I will throw a chair or something or trip and fall when coming back from the bathroom….

That sounds like pay-per-view material to us. What would even be better is if he actually ate the chair. That’d be something. But, anyway, welcome back, Josh. Oh, how we missed your soulful musings and backfat charm.

Thoughts of 2005 PLO @ WSOP [Josh Arieh]
Previously: Josh Arieh: Earnestness to the Point of Nausea [Oddjack]

Josh Arieh: Earnestness to the Point of Nausea

READ MORE: Bodog, Cinnabon, Hurricane Katrina, Josh Arieh, Poker

Okay, we get it. Josh Arieh is upset over the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina. He started his poker career in Biloxi. He has friends there. We feel bad. However, this is just a little bit over-the-top and unnecessary coming from anybody:

Check out what my boys at Bodog.com are doing. Guys do me a favor, email them and let them know how cool it would be if I could personally present the check to whatever charity they send it to. Biloxi is where my poker career began and it holds a spot in my heart. Watching the destruction sent chills downd my spine. It would really mean a lot to me to be able to go down there and deliver the check myself.

Eh, means well? Sure. That just seems like it’s something you’re asked to do and you willingly accept as opposed to lobby for. So, don’t e-mail. Bodog knows who Josh is. They’ll ask him to present a check in Biloxi if they need him to. And obviously, he’ll go. But, dude, come on…lay off on the e-mail campaigning.

Bodog To Host Benefit Poker Tournaments for Hurricane Katrina Victims [Josh Arieh]
Bodog Poker Tournament for Hurricane Katrina [Bodog]

Josh Arieh: Tunica Gets a Taste of Cinnabon’s Wrath

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh, Tunica

Amazingly, Josh Arieh has stuck to his commitment to provide live updates from the Tunica tournament and is actually doing a fine job keeping us abreast of how he’s doing. We can only hope that he offers more scintilating exchanges with amateur players such as this. As always the (sic) is universal:

after the break when everyone gets back to the table, the guy immediately to my left asks me “who won that last pot?” Oh man, he had to be joking…. i reply “WHAT?” ,he says “did you win the last pot?”, im steamin now, “Dude, it doesnt take a rocket scientist figure out that I didnt win the pot, I have like 6 chips sitting here and that pot had 20k in it…. you figure it out”… I felt kinda bad for jumpin on the guy, but damn, i had hte second biggest stack at the table before the hand, now my stack is almost the smallest at the table….Oh well

The Bon is on the warpath. Please be advised not to feed the Cinnabon during this tournament, lest we have more unfortunate incidents such as this.

Tunica Day One Summary [Josh Arieh]
Previously: Josh Arieh: Tee Box Rankling Causes Cinnabon Stir [Oddjack]

Josh Arieh: Tee Box Rankling Causes Cinnabon Stir

READ MORE: Cinnabon, Josh Arieh, Poker

Yes, once again we have another suffered through another long restive from our poker blogging superstar Josh Arieh as he decompresses at home, on the golf course and at the numerous pastry shops in HOTlanta. But he apologizes, so we can almost forgive him. ALMOST. What is patently unforgivable is Mr. Arieh’s use of air quotes when confronted by a crank on the golf course accusing puffy pants of building a lifestyle on illegitimate income:

The guy introduces himself(i dont remember his name, if i did i would expose his ass)… pulls out a club from my bag and acts as if he is adressing a ball. This guy, i guess he was in his mid 40’s says “Soooo, did your illegitimate income buy you these?” SAY WHAT???? I said “excuse me?”, he says “yea, did you buy these with your gambling winnings?” I’m pissed now, this guy really pushed the right button. “Well actually SIR, I play poker, I dont gamble. And if you must know, the answer is yes, everything I have is from my (hand quotations are flying) ‘illegitimate income’”. Man I was steaming.

It’s best to back away from the raging Cinnabon lion when he projects “flying hand quotations”, lest one wants to fall victim to the next level of nettled gesticulation: The dreaded “talk to the hand” maneuver, perfected by Queen Latifah on the TV show Living Single. We’re not expecting Mr. Arieh to go all mobster on the gent, however, a snappier more masculine verbal comeback should surely be in his arsenal the next time a tax-paying citizen wants to verbally jostle him.

Man I Almost Forgot How to Log In!!! [Josh Arieh]
Previously: Josh Arieh: Ego Outsizes Tunica [Oddjack]

Not WSOP 2005: Rumors and Innuendo

READ MORE: Josh Arieh, Poker, Tunica, WSOP 2005

Is this what you look like after you get Aces cracked, losing to a gutshot straight draw? A big, hulking albino? Or is that the look of today’s Internet wunderkind - pasty and doughy from that combination of Cheetos and a lack of sunshine? Unfortunately, Jason Kirk, reporting live from Tunica on the WSOP Circuit Series beat, didn’t get that question answered, so we’re left with nothing but wild assumptions. Like a guess that today’s posterboy, Matt Smith, must have some fantastically rare body temperature condition to be rocking a parka in the Mississippi summer.

The $500 PL Hold ‘Em tournament didn’t attract any pros either, but Jason did pass along a rumor that everyone’s favorite frosted pastry treat is on his way to Tunica for the bigger money events. We gleefully await the minute-by-minute updates of Cinnabon-y wonderment.

Event #7, Day Two [Jason Kirk]