MLB Betting: Oof, It’s Getting Ugly
READ MORE: Atlanta Braves, Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, Chopping Lines, Houston Astros, Los Angeles Angels, MLB Betting, New York Yankees
MLB PLAYOFF YTD= 2-4
Houston Astros 10, Atlanta Braves 5
Status=LOSS
· There’s not much we can say about the Braves other than the fact that we feel sorry for them. We feel sorry for their fans. It must be frustrating to win a division every year and then get smoked in the playoffs. Well, we don’t feel that bad.
LA Angels 5, New York Yankees 3
STATUS=LOSS
· Maybe there’s something to this whole “Rally Monkey” thing? Still seems like the Yankees’ series to lose with Randy Johnson still set to pitch. We have trouble betting against pitchers more than 7-feet-tall. We also have trouble seeing over them.
Chicago White Sox 5, Red Sox 4
Status=WIN
· Our fat guy theory held up. Finally. Something that makes it seem like we know what we’re doing. Why does this series still feel like it’ll go five games for some reason?
MLB Betting: Not A Good Day To Be Named ‘Clement’ or ‘Oddjack’
READ MORE: Chicago White Sox, Los Angeles Angels, MLB Betting, New York Yankees, Recap, San Diego Padres, St. Louis Cardinals
St. Louis Cardinals 8, San Diego Padres 5
Status=LOSS
· Well, apparently that whole Jake-Peavy-will-take-over-the-world theory wasn’t the best approach to take in yesterday’s St. Louis Cardinals-San Diego Padres game. The Padres pulled together a rally a little too late to keep us interested, but we were pretty sure the toothless Padres didn’t have a six-run 9th innning comeback in them. That was the one thing we were right about this game. The rest of the series appears to be all St. Louis—especially now that Peavy’s done for the year with a rib injury.
Chicago White Sox 14, Boston Red Sox 2
STATUS=WIN
· Matt Clement may have been the most over-hyped free agent since the Philadelphia Phillies signed Danny Tartabull as their clean-up hitter in 1995. Clement endeared himself to the Chicago White Sox faithful by promptly giving up eight runs yesterday in the White Sox 14-2 trouncing of the Red Sox. We’re happy Contreras came through for us, plus we hit the OVER bet thanks to Clement.
New York Yankees 4, LAA Angels 2
Status=LOSS
· Bartolo Colon betrayed us. What happened to that first-inning dominance? After Colon got popped around in the first inning, that was all the New York Yankees’ Mike Mussina needed after he went six shutot innnings, then Gordon, then Rivera, then ballgame. A Yankees versus White Sox LCS would be interesting.
Chopping Lines: No, That’s Not a Weeble With an Afro Pitching
READ MORE: Chopping Lines, Los Angeles Angels, MLB Betting, New York Yankees
8:00 p.m.
New York Yankees
at
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
We should’ve known better about the Padres and Cardinals game. We were told many times that our choice was a sucker bet, but we got all swoony about Jake Peavy and now we’ve paid a dear price for it and have to watch the foppy-haired step-cousin do a verbal jig for 45 more minutes. Anyway, we still have two more left today. And Bartolo Colon at the Yankees tonight is a choice we’ll standby even if it does poop itself after the first inning. Colon’s record against the Yankees is about similar to Yankees’ starter Mike Mussina, but we’ll give the homefield nod to those rabid LAA fans. Well,not rabid, really. Rally-monkey-clap-happy? Either way, look for an Angels victory and the over or we’ll shave our mustache tomorrow.
PICK!: LAA -120
Chopping Lines: Ride the Fat Man With a Halo
READ MORE: Chopping Lines, Los Angeles Angels, MLB Betting, Oakland Athletics
10:05 p.m.
Oakland Athletics (74-56, B. Zito)
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Los Angeles Angels (73-57, B. Colon)
It’s time everybody just stata zita with this Barry Zito already. I know about the 1-6 start and how his turnaround sparked the Oakland A’s turnaround into hopes of winning their division. And I know there are some who say he’s a lock for Comeback Player of the Year Award. Call me crazy, but I see a unreliable, streaky pitcher who has always had his way with the cock-massaging media. Listen, anybody who fucked Alyssa Milano is good copy. But up against the Angels, and Bartolo Colon (17-6) no less, I just see Zito looking like the 12-10 pitcher he is. Colon is red hot, giving up just three runs in his last six starts. And he hasn’t lost since mid July. I’d take Chuck Zito over Colon here. Not Barry Zito. The play here is Los Halos.
BENZAPICK!: LAA -113
(YTD 7-4)
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Chopping Lines: That is a Blue Jay in Our Pocket and We’re Thrilled to See You
READ MORE: Chopping Lines, Los Angeles Angels, MLB Betting, Surfin' Byrd, Toronto Blue Jays
10:05 p.m.
Toronto Blue Jays (61-57, S. Downs)
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Los Angeles Angels (69-49, J. Saunders)
Best Line: Blue Jays +176, Angels -123
If Paul “Surfin’” Byrd was making his scheduled start today, we’d totally be all over the Angels. However, since he’s back on the DL(again) we have to go with our nemesis Toronto Blue Jays’ starter Scott Downs. After this freak pitched a two-hitter last week against the Detroit Tigers and Jeremy Bonderman, we’re firm in the belief that we must ride the Scott Downs short bus until it careens off a craggy precipice into shark-infested waters. And the Angels are sending Jon Saunders out to make his first career start against an offensively potent Blue Jays squad. Maybe not a blow out, but at this price, the BJ’s are well worth the investment. (Insert paying for a BJ joke RIGHT HERE.)
PICK!: Blue Jays +176
Chopping Lines: Surfin’ Byrd
READ MORE: Chopping Lines, Los Angeles Angels, Oakland A's, Surfin' Byrd
3:35 p.m. EST
Los Angeles Angels (65-48, P. Byrd)
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Oakland Athletics (65-48, J. Blanton)
When Los Angeles Angels pitcher Paul Byrd pitched with the Philadelphia Phillies a few years ago there was a story about how a young, cocky Brett Myers walked into the locker room, saw Byrd changing and chortled “Dude, put a shirt on!” So Byrd has man boobs? Not his fault. Today, however, man boobs is the underdog in a powerhouse match-up between he and the A’s starter Joe Blanton, who like every other pitcher on the A’s the last two months, has been practically unhittable. But first place goes through Byrd for the A’s and on hot days like today it’s always best to have the more well-endowed pitcher. Plus, we still feel LAA is the better team. Ignore the sweaty nipples and throw some money on the Byrd. Yes, we know that’s the third time you’ve had somebody tell you that today.
PICK!: LAA +129
Chopping Lines: He’s Not Your Bitch, He’s Your Lackey
READ MORE: Baltimore Orioles, Chopping Lines, Los Angeles Angels, MLB Betting
Baltimore Orioles (51-55, E. Bedard)
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Los Angeles Angels (61-45, J. Lackey)
Best Line: LA Angels -140
Mired in the rut of a seven-game losing streak, the Baltimore Orioles can ill afford to lose Rafael Palmeiro to a 10-game suspension for steroid use. It is hard to believe that only a few months ago the Orioles were atop the AL East and 14 games over .500 on June 21. Now, Baltimore has lost 13 of 14 games and find themselves a whopping 9.5 games out of first place. Last night the O’s woes continued as they Sidney Ponson got bombarded for eight earned runs and 10 hits in 5 1/3 innings at L.A. Angels to drop to 7-10 on the season. Bartolo Colon’s 10-1 win propelled the portly pitcher to 13-6 on the season. Vladimir Guerrero might be heating up from this year’s awful start. He homered twice and drove in five runs for the Angels, who opened a six-game homestand after going 1-5 on a road trip to Toronto and New York.
Charged with stopping the seven game slide for the O’s is Eric Bedard (5-3, 2.32 ERA). Bedard will try to overcome another poor start last week. Bedard allowed four runs and five hits over five innings in his last start against the ChiSox as the Orioles lost 7-2. The 26-year-old southpaw is now 0-2 with a 3.18 ERA in three starts since returning from the DL for a sprained know. Bedard earned a no-decision in his only game against the Angels in his career.
John Lackey (8-4, 3.70 ERA) will be on the mound for the Angels as he tries for his ninth win of the season. His last time he was part of a marathon 18 inning game against the Blue Jays. Lackey allowed only four hits in eight innings of shutout ball. The Angels eventually lost that game in the 18-inning, 2-1. The righty is 2-0 in his last three starts and has allowed just two earned runs in 20 1-3 innings. In three starts against the O’s Lackey is 2-1 with an enormous 6.06 ERA.
PICK! LA ANGELS -140
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