Monday Morning Oddsline
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FROM THIS WEEKEND IN SPORTS
· Odds that even Wayne Allyn Root is making fun of us after a brutal weekend with our NFL picks - 6-5
· Odds that WIP Radio in Philadelphia is being inundated with positive phone calls about the Eagles’ season - 5,000-1
· Odds that BG is never going to shut up about his pick of 15-1 shot Intercontinental in the Filly & Mare Turf this weekend - EVEN
LA-LA-LAND LINES
· Which upcoming Stallone vehicle will make more money: Rambo IV or Rocky Balboa? - Rocky Balboa (-160)
· Odds that the return of The OC on Fox do better in the ratings than the World Series games that bumped it from the schedule (and temporarily, our hearts) - 1-9
WHAT WE’VE GOT IN THE OFFICE POOL
· On what date will GWB have to withdraw the nomination of US Supreme Court candidate Samuel Alito? - November 17
· How many years in prison for Scooter Libby? - NINE
· Will the judge in the Dover “Intelligent Design” trial rule for allowing ID to be taught in classrooms? - ARE YOU KIDDING US? (-360)
Monday Morning Oddsline
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From a Great Weekend of College Football
· That unless a Paris Hilton three-way sex tape surfaces, USC goes two-in-a-row for the Heisman Trophy - 6-5
· That Vince Young is the week 8 starter for the Detroit Lions in 2006 - 8-1
· That Joe Paterno is the next cover subject for AARP Monthly Magazine - 10-1
· That even Al Groh doesn’t know what he has with his Virginia Cavaliers until the final gun sounds every Saturday afternoon - EVEN
La-La-Land Props
· Over/Under on number of lease payments rapper Cam’ron had left on his Lamborghini, leading to his resistance of the attempted carjacking - 32
· Number of times in a row we could listen to Eurovision’s top song of the last fifty years before taking the life of the closest motherfucker nearby - 14
· Number of Queer Eye guys who apparently had a hand in Ken’s (of Ken & Barbie) makeover - 1.5
What We’ve Got In The Office Pool
· Iteration of the compression of the names of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn that will finally be accepted as the standard by the media - “Vaughniston” - 3-1
· Date the Bush administration finally withdraws the nomination of Harriet Miers - November 4th
· Age at which one of the two thirteen-year-old white supremacist teen singer girls brings home a non-appropriate significant other (lesbian, non-white, interracial allowed) - 17.5
Monday Morning Oddsline
READ MORE: Cultural Oddsmaker, Monday Morning Oddsline
IN THE WAKE OF USC/ND SATURDAY
· Matt Leinart is the front-runner in the Heisman Trophy race once again - 3/2
· Rumored new Leinart roommate Nick Lachey will spend the next month getting nothing better than his roomie’s castoff ass - EVEN
· A two- or three-loss Notre Dame team will still find a way to get a BCS bowl bid - 4/1
· Notre Dame WR Jeff Samardzija has cemented his status as State Farm Insurance’s Top Sales Performer in the Greater Valparaiso, IN area for 2010 based on cache earned in Saturday’s game - 5/1
LA-LA-LAND ON THE OVER/UNDER
· Number of episodes Freddie Prinze, Jr./Brian Austin Green vehicle Freddie will air before it’s permanently shelved - 5
· Number of gossip rag photos printed this week of the starlet belly bulging with the Cruise/Holmes bastard spawn - 8
· Percentage of Doom ticket buyers who still can’t tell the difference between The Rock and Vin Diesel - 33%
FUTURES WE GOT FIVE BUCKS ON
· What time will the Alaskan moose finally fall to his death from the ledge on which he’s trapped - TUESDAY, 4:45AM TO 4:45PM - 12/1
· Outcome of the Iraqi Constitutional Referendum - GEORGE BUSH DECLARED IRAQI PRESIDENT BY FLORIDA SUPREME COURT - 25/1
· Name New York Times reporter Judith Wilson will finally reveal as her source in the Valerie Plame debacle - SADDAM HUSSEIN - 50/1
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