Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker: New York City Subway Attack

READ MORE: New York City Subway, Oddjack Cultural Oddsmaker

Because we live in New York and are planning on taking the subway at some point over the next few days, it seems only fair that we gauge our chances of survival in the midst of all this Subway! Terror! hoopla. Yes, we’re fearful, but yet so brave. We can only hope that we’re better at predicting our own fate than we are at playoff baseball. After the jump, open your code orange-colored eyes and your black briefcases get some action on whether or not we’ll be dead this weekend. Special thanks to these fine folks, for helping out.

The N/R train gets bombed and that blind guy playing the violin will be a suspect—35/1

The 7 train will be targeted all because of what John Rocker said a few years ago about it being loaded with homosexuals and drug addicts— 15/1

All Wall Street people carrying black briefcases will suddenly be looked at with the same nervous suspicion as 85 percent of New York City cab drivers—2/1

Mayor Giuliani will pop up at some point to be a calming presence throughout the city and talk mostly about the Yankee game—-7/2

The New York Yankees will have somebody in the organization wearing NYPD/FDNY merchandise during rest of playoffs just to remind the rest of the nation that we are, in fact, the center of the universe—2/1

The G line that runs between Brooklyn and Queens gets the worst of it—750/1

The Naked Cowboy will have his guitar case examined for more than 12 minutes—6/1

Subway masturbation incidents decrease dramatically—4/1

Number of undercover police officers masturbating on the subway decreases dramatically—3/1

Mayor Michael Bloomberg is riding the 6 train all weekend because he’s still Jenny from the Block—4/1

Mayor Michael Bloomberg blows up in the 6 train and just hates himself for being so damned earnest in the afterlife—500/1

Oddjack capitalizes on a potentially horrifying disaster for the sake of our own sagging traffic—EVEN

Nothing will happen and we’ll all feel foolish once again—1/100

Fun With the Over/Under

Number of people walking to work over the next week—2,456,376

Number of boxes of peanut M & M’s confiscated from teenagers looking to raise money for their “basketball teams”—75

Number of New York Post stories written throughout the weekend that will be done to intentionally scare the crap out of people— 34

Number of Red Sox fans reading Bill Simmons’ “Now I Can Die In Peace” on 5 train while it’s blown up—14

Number of New Yorkers engaged in terror-fucking right this minute—4,760

Amount of suitcase bombs made from Canal Street leatherwares—12

Number of homeless people on F train when nail bomb explodes—45.5(including man with no arms legs who wobbles through on a skateboard)

Number of copies of The Taking of Pelham One Two Three Blockbuster rents over the weekend—2

Number of Kevlar vests Bloomberg will be wearing when his 6 train blows up—4

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