Oddjack Expert: Madden ‘06

READ MORE: Madden '06, Oddjack Expert, Side Bets

So, a lot of those TKE guys in accounting took off today, huh? Good for them. They have the right idea as this is traditionally one of the most fun days to embrace suspended adolescence and not feel too bad about it. Yes, it’s officially the release of Madden ‘06. Order up the Domino’s 555 deals, get the gravity bong cleaned, and, hey, instead of banking your money on the standard head-to-head match-ups with your favorite teams, why not try these side bets to make this joyous day of mindless, jerk-off fun somewhat profitable for those of us who really suck at Madden? Here’s a list of side bets you can use to make this glorious Tuesday a money maker if you can’t win anything else. Might as well, jump…

MADDEN ‘06 SIDE BETS:

· FIRST PLAYER TO GET A SORE THUMB

· FIRST PLAYER TO HAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND CALL

· FIRST PLAYER TO CALL HIS GIRLFRIEND

· PLAYER WHO DOESN’T CHIP IN FOR FOOD

· PLAYER MOST LIKELY TO WEAR A FOOTBALL JERSEY

· FIRST PLAYER TO GO HOME EARLY

· LAST PLAYER TO GO HOME

· PLAYER MOST LIKELY TO CALL OUT TOMORROW AS WELL

· PLAYER MOST LIKELY TO SUGGEST DESIGNING OWN UNIFORMS

· PLAYER MOST LIKELY TO BUY CD OF BAND BECAUSE THEY HEARD SONG ON MADDEN

· FIRST PLAYER TO USE THE PHRASE “MY BITCH” TO THEIR OPPONENT

· FIRST PLAYER TO BRAG ABOUT HIS ONLINE RECORD IN MADDEN 2K4

· OVER/UNDER ON AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES YOUR ROSTER TWEAKER TO FINISH MAKING THE ROSTERS “RIGHT” BEFORE GAMES CAN BE PLAYED

· FIRST PLAYER TO ACCUSE OTHER PLAYER OF LOOKING AT HIS PLAYS

· FIRST PLAYER TO THROW CONTROLLER

· FIRST PLAYER TO ABUSE HIGHLIGHT FUNCTION

· FIRST PLAYER TO PUNCH WALL/FLOOR/HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE