Oddjack ‘05

READ MORE: Oddjack, Yearbook Post

Nickname: “Franchise Killer”

Favorite food: Liverwurst, whitefish salad

Favorite band: Pearl Jam

Favorite quote: “Am I woman enough to be your man?”

Extracurricular Activities: Key Club, JV football, Jazz Band, Cross Country

Thank you Mom, Dad, sis Col, b-in-law Stvn, Polar R.I.P. Thank you William F., Gillin, Aileen—B-table4EVR! Cooke, Giant Boy, Tuuuuesday,l.boog, dorfmancaneatthegobblersideways, and campbowery. Youmyfavritscrap. Thanks gwkers:lhart, ndenton, gridskp, dngresin,scott, defame, the double jew crew of oxfeld/coen. krucoffowesme$337. big ups to bg—always be +ev in my book. j.press—you called it. thankyouindiathankyouterrorthankyoudisillusionment. o.jack, out. seeyainthe06! fin…

Oddjack…One Last Encore With the Lights On

READ MORE: Announcements, Farewell, Oddjack

So, this is a legitimate farewell. I’d like to take this opportunity to let those with gambling problems and shoddy credit that there are plenty of other places out there to get your daily fixins of picks and lines and arbitrage and all that other garbage you so very much enjoy. However, most of these places do not curse as eloquently as I do. You won’t find the word “goose twat” over at Covers, but you will find the best resource for gambling news on the web. The boys at Sedge Court Journal provide hilarious rundowns on football picks, but they do not know the meaning of the word “taint farm.” Of course there is also Gambling 911 which even though has two completely humpable ladies on its staff, it will not ever use the phrase “cave fisting.” Alas, there are many, many more. I will let you know about these places periodically throughout the day. The lights are on, however, and I will pay the fines to the arena up until a certain point. But, do remember, I got no job.

G’Morning. It’s Thursday.

READ MORE: BG, Gambling Blues, Oddjack, Thursday

G’morning. It’s Thursday. Apologies for the late posting, but we’d like to point out that our West Coast readership is just getting up right now. And happy casual Friday to our readers in Vladivostok, Russia. As this is our last Thursday here at the old Oddjack, we’ll do our best to keep our focus on things at hand and promise only limited pictures of dead animals. Unless, of course, a wild zebra is killed at the Taj then you’ll be forced to suffer. However, be forewarned that any poker posts today and Friday will most likely not help improve your game AT ALL. BG bid farewell yesterday and he was the only one who understood all that stuff. We just think poker players are fucking dorks who like to count. Sorry. We do. And also, we’d also like to formally rid ourselves of this annoying royal “we” crap. It’s retarded and it makes me sound so much more pretentious then I actually am. But this is what blogs do to emphasize a bit of authority that’s seldom there. I never had it. See? I feel better? Don’t you?

Now, let’s start making fun of Bodog.

Oddjack “Blog of the Week”: Best Poker Blogs

READ MORE: Best Poker Blogs, Best Poker Blogs Oddjack, Blog of the Week, Oddjack

We’re happy that a poker blog called “Best Poker Blogs” is featuring us as their blog of the week, as it’s possible that these fine folks are completely unaware that we’re not going to be around anymore. Good times. So, we love to return favors and fuck up Technorati, so we’ll give “Best Poker Blogs” our own blog of the week award and feature them as well. Feature them, featuring us, what could possibly go wrong?

Here’s what’s new on Best Poker Blogs:

Sunday, 27 November 2005
This week we honor “Oddjack” for entertainment value and excellence in site design.

What’s with the name Oddjack mean?
Oddjack has actually nothing to do with gambling whatsoever. It’s a euphemism for tantric sex with home appliances.- Oddjack’s FAQ

Stay tuned for more updates on what’s happening on Best Poker Blogs!

Oddjack: Blog of the Week [Best Poker Blogs]

Oddjack Announcements: Buh-Bye

READ MORE: A.J. Daulerio, Nick Denton, Oddjack, Will Leitch Dances With Sailors

Hello, dear, seldom readers. As you may(or may not) have heard, this plucky little gambling site which rarely reported gambling news or serviceable insights will be no more. Thank yous across the board to those who cared enough to stop by and say nice things. Thank yous across the board to those who took the time to be negative as well. It was an honor to be such a blemish. Over the next couple days, we’ll do our best to post stuff that’s interesting to four or five people. I hope you enjoy it. Here is a sample of what you’ll be seeing:

Yes. Dead panda photos.

On a personal note, I am thrilled to be constructing a resume. I am looking forward to entering the office life again with its ashen cubicles and casual Fridays. I am ecstatic to have a job that will require I wear pants. My parents will be delighted to talk about my unemployment with friends and relatives over Thanksgiving dinner. I look forward to seeing them awash with pride.

It is a glorious day. It’s raining and there are six bottles of wine with my name on it. I shall commence wallowing for three hours and then try to find my shoes. What’s that? You want to see the dead panda again? Of course you do. Here:

Farewell, blog.

Oddjack Shuttered [NickDenton]

NFL Betting: Eight Picks Are Better Than One

READ MORE: Football Up Your Ass, Free Picks, NFL Betting, Oddjack

· Baltimore Ravens (2-6) at Jacksonville (5-3)

PICK!: JAX -6

· Kansas City Chiefs (5-3) at Buffalo Bills (3-5)

PICK!: KC +2.5

· Houston Texans (1-8) at Indianapolis Colts (8-0)

PICK!: HOU +18

· New England Patriots (4-4) at Miami Dolphins (3-5)

PICK!: NE -2

· San Francisco 49ers (2-6) at Chicago Bears (5-3)

PICK!: SF +14.5

· Green Bay Packers (1-7) at Atlanta Falcons (6-2)

PICK!: GB +10.5

· Washington Redskins (5-3) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-3)

PICK!: WAS ev

· St. Louis Rams (3-5) at Seattle Seahawks (6-2)

PICK!: STL +7.5

NCAA Betting: Eight Picks That’ll Make An Ugly Chick Shriek

READ MORE: Football Up Your Ass, Free Picks, NCAA Football Betting, Oddjack

· Michigan State Spartans (5-4) at Minnesota Golden Gophers (6-3)

PICK!: MICHSTATE +6

· Maryland Terrapins (4-4) at North Carolina Tar Heels (4-4)

PICK!: NC -3

·(12) Florida Gators (7-2) at South Carolina Gamecocks (6-3)

PICK!: SC +4

· Navy Midshipmen (5-3) at (7) Notre Dame Fighting Irish (6-2)

PICK!: ND -23

· Kansas Jayhawks (5-4) at (2) Texas Longhorns (9-0)

PICK!: KAN +34

· (1) USC Trojans (9-0) at Cal Bears (6-3)

PICK!: CAL +19

· (17) Auburn Tigers (7-2) at (9) Georgia Bulldogs (7-1)

PICK!: GEO -2.5

· (5) LSU Tigers (6-1) at (3)Alabama Crimson Tide (9-0)

PICK!: ALA +3

Oddjack FUYA: Go Hug An Old Guy Carrying a Flag

READ MORE: Football Up Your Ass, NCAA Football Betting, NFL Betting, Oddjack

It’s Veterans Day. The time of the year where every local newspaper in America will have a picture of an old dude in a wheel chair clutching an American flag to his heart. And the fucking bank isn’t open and we lost our ATM card. Good times. It’s also another NFL/NCAA weekend that has us a little perplexed about what to do. We can’t for the life of us figure out why the Kansas City Chiefs are underdogs at Buffalo. And have the Bears even scored 13 points in any of their victories so far this year let alone giving that amount to San Francisco? And the Colts giving 17 1/2 seems too high against Houston. Well, maybe not.

The weekend in college football is essentially a snoozer, except for two games. The spotlight matchup has to be Florida traveling to South Carolina to face Spurrier again. We’d love nothing more if the Gators go in and trounce the crap out of him, but we have a feeling that’s not going to happen. The Gamecocks are only five point dogs and we’re sure that line would be about ten if anybody else was coaching that team. And then there’s Cal and USC. Cal’s only getting 18 points and that should be enough to cover this game for them easily. And at the beginning of the year, a lot of people saw this as the game where USC could get knocked off. Then BCS upheaval would ensue and, God knows what would happen. Good times. Our eight picks for both NFL and NCAA will come later in the day. Or maybe they won’t. We’re having trouble feeling our face this morning. We’ll do them at some point just so we can frustrate our fiery scoreboard-touting friend at American Gambling News. We’ll commence with ass-upping. Pounding out aggression, turns into obsession.

NFL Betting: Eight Picks To Get Beat Up Naked For

READ MORE: Football Up Your Ass, Free Picks, NFL Betting, Oddjack

Cincinnati Bengals (6-2) at Baltimore Ravens (2-5)

PICK!: CINCY -3

Oakland Raiders(3-4) at Kansas City Chiefs (4-4)

PICK: OAK +4.5

Tennessee Titans (2-6) at Cleveland Browns (2-5)

PICK!: TEN +3

Chicago Bears (4-3) at New Orleans Saints (2-6)

PICK!: CHI -3

Atlanta Falcons (5-2) at Miami Dolphins (3-4)

PICK!: ATL -2

Seattle Seahawks(5-2) at Arizona Cardinals (2-5)

PICK!: SEA -4

Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2) at Green Bay Packers (1-6)

PICK!: PACK! +3.5

Philadelphia Eagles (4-3) at Washington Redskins (4-3)

PICK!: PHI +3

Oddjack FUYA: So Many Controversies, So Little Time

READ MORE: Football Up Your Ass, Oddjack

How can we possibly bet on the NFL this weekend? It’s just craziness. We’ve got T.O. doing his T.O. thing in Philly(and a questionable Donovan McNabb) with the Eagles as 3 point dogs, the Vikings starting Brad Johnson and being favored in Detroit, the start of the Charlie Batch era in Pittsburgh, and all sorts of lines showing threes and ones that have left us mighty confused. And in the NCAA, all we know for sure is the fact that we are never, ever betting on Wannstedt again(again). The Pitt Panthers had every opportunity to cover last night against Louisville (and hit the over, mind you) yet because they are saddled with a mustached-devil coach with a propensity for yanking off his headset at even the most inconsequential calls, well, we ate it.

We’ll take our usual lot of eight and eight later this afternoon and, hopefully, win enough NFL games to pass that ornery little spitball at American Gambling News. We have too. We can’t even afford to buy him beers at the end of the season at the rate we’re going so far.

Oddjack FUYA: Don’t Mess With Dead Giants

READ MORE: Free Picks, NCAA Betting, NFL Betting, Oddjack

Well, that was a shitty NFL weekend. NCAA, not so bad. NFL? Eesh. We’ve learned our lesson on the Redskins and been exposed to the frauds they are. We’ve also learned that when Wellington Mara dies, it’s best not to bet against the Giants at home. It was also pretty stupid to bet against the Texans this week. They had to win at some point and Cleveland was probably it. So much for the Vikings being “inspired” by their post-boat-orgy victory. That was flawed logic. We projected our own feelings about playing a game after a sex boat orgy and figured it would carry over. And Daunte Culpepper can finally relax. Good for him. Anyway, NFL record over the weekend: 3-5

NCAA was a little better. The Tereshinski push in the World’s Largest Vomit Fest was good enough to keep us at 5-3-1. Penn State continues to dominate. Carolina’s 21 points was a gift. Maryland proved they’re not double-digit underdogs. Temple showed that they legitimately need 30+ per game to have any chance at covering against anybody.

Overall weekend rundown: 8-8-1. We lost the vig.

NCAA Football Picks: Hard Eight [Oddjack]
NFL Betting: Eight Picks Before Brunch [Oddjack]

NFL Betting: Eight Picks Before Brunch

READ MORE: Free Picks, NFL Betting, Oddjack

· Minnesota at Carolina: PICK!: Minnesota +8,5

· Miami at New Orleans: PICK!: New Orleans -2

· Oakland at Tennessee: PICK!: Oakland -1

· Washington at New York Giants: PICK!: Washington +1.5

· Cleveland at Houston: PICK!: Cleveland +2

· Arizona at Dallas: PICK!: Dallas -9

· Jacksonville at St. Louis: PICK!: Jacksonville -3.5

· Tampa Bay at San Francisco: PICK!: San Francisco +12