Seventy Five Dollars To Try This Crappy Poker Room
READ MORE: Free Money, Online Poker, Poker
Is there any such thing as a free ride? At the online casinos there is. While nearly every site offers some sort of deposit bonus, is there anyone out there that will just give you cash without a deposit? Duggle Bogey has a line on a good deal called “Instant Bankroll”:
Go check out the details at Duggle’s spot, but don’t count on anything more than nickel and diming it at Titan Poker. Small player base and nothing but cheap tournaments over there.
$500,000 Freeroll Poker Tournament with $100,000,000 Jackpot Hand
Obvious Advice To Win Poker Tournaments
READ MORE: Multi-Table Tournaments, Online Poker, Poker
CJ from Up For Poker cashed in over five multi-table tournaments this weekend, grossing over $8K for his troubles. How does he do it? How about some obvious advice, courtesy of CJ:
1. Play premium hands strong, get paid off.
2. Lay down hands when you’re pretty sure you’re beat.
3. Don’t slow play unless you’re positive that next card won’t hurt you.
4. Avoid dumb plays (Fancy Play Syndrome is generally wrong).
5. Suckout at least once.
6. Survive a suckout at least once.
7. Win a couple coin flips.
8. Avoid big stacks late.
9. Avoid desperate stacks late unless you have a strong idea you can bust them.
10. Get lucky.
He missed #11, “When you flop the nuts, you probably have the best hand,” and #12, “You’ll know you’re still in the tournament if your number of chips is greater than zero.” Two or three more nuggets of wisdom, he’ll have enough for his poker primer.
The luckbox speaks [UpForPoker]
Judging Your Opposition Online
READ MORE: Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Party Poker, Poker, PokerStars, poker bloggers
Is it easy to pigeonhole the players at the most popular online sites? Toddcommish thinks so, and has a primer for who you’re facing in sit-and-goes and tournaments online:
“So, to recap the basic strategies of the online players:
Party : Any two cards should see the flop, any ace or bottom pair should go to the river, middle pair is worth a raise, top pair is worth an all-in, betting 400 into a pot with 75 chips = Power Poker, pocket aces should never lose.
PokerStars : Any sooted cards, small pockets, or face cards should see the flop, all backdoor flush draws should be played aggressively, the cognoscenti know that it’s called RiverStars because it’s fixed so that draws always hit, calling with no pair is a good idea because you need to see what the other guy had, pocket aces should never lose.
FullTilt : Always raise on the button because you have position, top pair should always raise, trips should always check-raise, draws should push all-in to try and win right there, any small pocket pair should push preflop to get the ragged faces out, show every bluff because Jesus said so, pocket aces should never lose.”
This is actually a pretty astute assessment. PartyPoker’s players are terrible and love the overbet, you can’t shake a guy off a draw at Pokerstars, and everyone at Full Tilt thinks they’re a genius. We’d add that Pacific’s players are really timid, and the poker rooms tied like an afterthought to a sports book (like Bodog’s) are full of players who have absolutely no idea what they’re doing. Now go make some money.
Adjustments [ToddCommish]
Deep Stack Tournaments - Thumbs Up
READ MORE: Deep Stacks, Online Poker, Poker, PokerStars
In most every poker tournament we’ve ever played, the structure of the tournament turns it into an all-in festival after only a couple hours - if you’re lucky. Most of the daily tournaments thrown by the Vegas card rooms, for instance, get to push-monkey stages within 90 minutes, as they want you to bust out and spend your poker money in the raked games. That’s why it’s nice to see an online site who gets it.
PokerStars has been offering what they call “Deep Stacks” tournaments a few times a day, and we’re in love. We played our first Deep Stacks tourney on Saturday night (No Limit Hold ‘Em, $30+$3 buy-in), and had what was easily our most enjoyable tournament experience ever. The tournament starts with 5/10 blinds, but you get 5,000 in chips and blinds change every 30 minutes (instead of 1,500 in chips with 10 minute blind increases). Unless you’re recklessly throwing your chips around like a maniac, you can afford to play patient poker for the first few hours. Compare this with any other multi-table tournament, where if you don’t quadruple up in the first two hours, you’ve effectively entered “panic mode.” We finished 76th out of 766 (13 out of the money), but got six and a half hours of play for our $33. If you’re interested in playing poker as opposed to pushing all-in and have eight to ten hours to kill, we can’t recommend the Deep Stacks at Stars highly enough.
Deep Stack Schedule [PokerStars]
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60 Minutes Looks At Online Gambling
READ MORE: 60 Minutes, Gambling, Gambling Laws, Internet Gambling, Online Gambling, Online Poker
Last night, CBS’ 60 Minutes ran a short piece on Internet gambling. Did they cover any new ground? Hardly. CBS reported that online gambling is a huge industry, illegal in the US, and based offshore. We learned that the Vegas casino companies want in, but are hamstrung by our laws that prevent them from competing in this market. They also mentioned - repeatedly - that the government’s stance on Internet gambling costs our government billions in potential tax revenue every year. After the jump, we’ll loop you in to some of the buzz around the ‘Net this morning in the wake of this report…
EAR TO THE GROUND
Dan from Pokerati thinks there’s a distinct difference between playing poker and shooting craps online, and maybe we need to look at this as a society:
“I’m not sure it went far enough in differentiating online poker from other forms of online gambling. Maybe that’s relevant, maybe it’s not. But it does suggest that the masses are starting to be made aware of the need to change all sorts of outdated poker laws that make just about every person reading this site a criminal.”
Iggy at Guinness and Poker found a 2+2 Forums thread that sparked some conversation:
(Cribbed from the 2+2 Forums) This was great! Newbies learned that:
· Party Poker is the #1 most popular site. Guess that’s probably a good place to go then!
· Whenever I see a ‘.net’ ad, they really mean I should go to .com for real gambling!
· If I’m an underage minor, Golden Palace is an excellent place to get to play!
· 12 Million Americans are playing, and they haven’t complained - maybe this ‘internet gambling’ isn’t so shady after all!
Of course, laws would need to be changed for Internet gambling to be legalized. Make You Go Hmm raises the salient point about the winds of change (and provides the screen shot for this post):
Basically the terrestrial casino point of view: if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. One comment I found particularly curious: that when the US gets an “enlightened” President and Attorney General internet gambling will be regulated, taxed and legalized.
CBS’ News own 60 Minutes site features our favorite part of the discussion. Late in the interview, Nigel Payne, the owner of SportingBet.com and Paradise Poker, asks for one argument against regulating Internet gambling. Lesley Stahl replies, “Because it’s bad for you.” Here’s the outcome:
Payne doesn’t think people will ever stop gambling.
“Do you think the Internet’s suddenly going to go away? So what are we going to do in ten years time, when this industry is ten times bigger than it is today?” ask Payne. “I often say to people, ‘Please give me one solid plausible argument why you shouldn’t regulate it.’”
And Payne rejects the argument that it is bad for you. “If you regulate it, you control it. If you regulate it, you set limits. Is that bad, when the comparator is ‘Ah, just let them do what they want.’ Is that really bad? I don’t think it is.”
Did anything get solved? Not really. If you gamble online you probably know you’re breaking the law, and despite the US Government’s attempts to try and make gambling more difficult, there will be no way to shut off the spigot completely. So until the US Government finds a way to make this morally palatable to the voting public, we’re probably going to be stuck in the land of denial. With or without the government’s approval, keep tossing the cards. With millions of people gambling on the ‘Net on a weekly basis, there’s very little chance our government can do anything but create circumventable laws and continue to bark about this non-problem. See you at the tables.
War on Poker: CriminalPoker.com [Pokerati]
I Sure Like These Short Little Posts [Guinness and Poker]
60 Minutes special focuses on internet gambling [Make You Go Hmm]
I-Gaming: Illegal and Thriving [CBS News]
Matriculate This
READ MORE: Absolute Poker, Online Poker, Poker
Jeremy Olisar, a 21-year-old student at Carnegie Mellon University, won an online tournament at AbsolutePoker.com. That’s good. What’s also good, but not great, is the prize—a year’s college tuition and books. Now, as all college students (and their parents) know, that’s nothing to sneeze at. In Olisar’s case it comes to a tidy $15K (which seems a bit low for CMU).
But where’s the CASH? Tuition isn’t FUN. Where’s the bar-hopping until 6AM as you ride the crest of the adrenaline high? Can you find a stripper willing to trade a lap dance for your used copy of Advanced Polymer Chemistry? A bittersweet victory indeed. But Olisar doesn’t sound like any 21-year-old tournament winner we’ve ever encountered. When asked about his future plans, the senior (who is double-majoring in clarinet performance and music education…you can major in clarinet? How about air guitar?) said this:
“I don’t see myself living off of poker,” Olisar says. “I am probably going to pursue a career in music, and right now I am planning to go to grad school for a master’s in teaching.”
Wait, hasn’t he ever seen Rounders? He’s supposed to think he’s a poker god and quit school and start playing 60 hours a week. Is it possible that Olisar is…a reasonable college student? Yeah, we’re scared too.
CMU student wins tuition in poker tournament [PittsburghLIVE.com]
Making Mobney
READ MORE: Jopke, Mobney, Online Poker, Paul Phillips, Phil Hellmuth, Poker
I think we’d all agree that Phil Hellmuth is a tireless and enthusiastic self-promoter. So you’d think by now he’d be a little bit better at the job. As discovered by Paul Phillips, winner on the World Poker Tour and the patient chronicaler of many bizarre Hellmuthian episodes, this is sadly not the case:
A reader alerts me of the content presently at phil hellmuth’s web site:
“For a second year in a row, Phil Hellmuth makes it to the Tournament of Champions final table.”
Talk about your back-to-back performances!
Year One: Ten (invited) players total. Phil surprisingly manages not to go out 11th. ONE FINAL TABLE IN A ROW.
Year Two: Phil fails to qualify for the event. A lifetime of acting like an idiot makes him sufficiently attractive to a sponsor that he is allowed to play anyway at a direct EV cost to everyone else in the tourney. But it’s not enough to acquire $250,000 at the expense of others who qualified fairly. No, let’s brag about it. TWO FINAL TABLES IN A ROW.
You’d also think that after all those columns bemoaning the beats he’s suffered Phil would be a bit more skilled with the keyboard, but, again, nope. Thanks to Paul we all know that Phil is a total JOPKE, and now we know that Phil’s creative spelling doesn’t end there:
We’re almost loathe to mention this, because Phil might think it’s a great idea. But Hellmuth really should have a webcam on himself when he plays online. We’d watch the car wreck, wouldn’t we?
TWO YEARS IN A ROW [Paul Phillips]
JOPKE JOKE JOPKE JOKE [Paul Phillips]
Anger Comes In Many Different Flavors
READ MORE: Online Poker, Poker, Tilt, poker bloggers
If you play poker, you’ve been on tilt. The game is designed to induce states of temporary insanity that will make you doubt your belief in statistics, in God, in yourself. But there are more flavors of tilt than even Baskin-Robbins could cope with, and a list of the most bitter and vile was compiled by Otis from Up For Poker. A tiny taste, after the jump…
TILT-A-RIFFIC
Otis had some ideas, and opened up comments for more. Here’s a few of our favorites:
“Stuck Tilt—This tilt appears after having played a lengthy session only to find one’s stack is smaller—usually significantly smaller—than it began. Stuck Tilt manifests itself in a common symptom of unfortunate poker play: “Getting Even.”
Yes, we’re quite familiar with that variation.
“Happy Tilt—Another common form of tilt, Happy Tilt appears in the middle of a profitable or otherwise fun session. Whether a player is winning or simply having fun with his buddies at the table, Happy Tilt can prove to be an unhealthy leak that causes players to “gamboooooool” indiscriminately. Happy Tilt is often made worse by mass consumption of alcohol.”
Not well acquainted with Happy Tilt, as that would require winning the occasional early pot. Well acquainted with the mass consumption of alcohol part…maybe a bit too well accquinted.
And then there are tilts that are uniquely personal, and unique to one specific moment. Here’s an example related by Joaquin Ochoa, who was tempted to commit felony assault thanks to:
“Mexican Tilt - When a guy pisses you off at the table and you tell him to step outside to settle this shit. I was put on this tilt this past weekend at the Taj when the old folks at the stud table slow rolled me…not once, but twice. I then proceeded to super-super-slow role them since I couldn’t take a 70 year old senior outside and smack him around. I’m going on tilt just writing this.”
We’re only dodging picket lines and hate crimes allegations due to the author of the above really being named “Joaquin Ochoa.” Poker. It’s just a game, people. OH GOD, we hate when people say that after they beat us out of a big pot. Hey, there’s another tilt right there.
Poker Tilt—Definitions [Up For Poker]
Phil Ivey Throws Down
READ MORE: Full Tilt Poker, Online Poker, Phil Ivey, Poker
A little Phil Ivey smack, courtesy of DonkeyPuncher:
“I found Phil Ivey playing heads up against David Oppenheim. Oppenheim had the grand balance of ZERO dollars under his name. It looked like Ivey just busted him. Oppenheim then reloaded.
What I gather from the conversation is that he wanted a loan from Ivey so that they could continue their heads up battle. And when Ivey declined, the namecalling began…”
Wednesday Quickie [DonkeyPuncher]
What A Crappy Way To Lose
READ MORE: Online Poker, Poker, poker bloggers
In all our years playing online, we’ve never heard anyone resort to the “I’ve got to take a dump” excuse before. TripJax was playing this guy heads-up, he drops a deuce, then comes back to play this hand:
“I forgot to mention, this guy pulled a royal flush out of his ass (pun intended) versus my flopped fullhouse. I had Kc3c to his JhQh. The flop came down 3sKhKs and of course I slowplayed him into his open ended straight flush draw when the turn brought a 10h. The river was a very stinky Ah. That sucked. That’s when things went into the toilet for me. I lost only a few hands later. Stinky!”
Of all the ways to lose, that’s got to be one of the shittiest.
Stinky Poker [TripJax]
Crushing Crusher
READ MORE: Online Poker, Poker, PokerStars, Wil Wheaton
Internet Celebrity Wil Wheaton throws a tournament on Friday nights at PokerStars, where he’s been named a member of their “team.” We think that means he gets to wear the satin jacket and brings Raymer and Moneymaker coffee when they need it. Anyway, bust Wil in his Friday tournament and you get a bounty. What’s the bounty?
He names the next tournament after you. Our own BG rivered a straight with Ace-Queen against Wil’s 77, and gets the honors for next Friday. As for his eventual 12th place finish? How’d you like your Aces cracked by Jack-Nine flopping two Nines on the board? Yeah, we know… Embrace the bad beats. Email us if you want in for next week. Maybe BG will be in a generous mood after making $3.30 profit tonight.
Party’s Pool of Retards
READ MORE: Online Poker, PartyPoker, Poker
Don’t let anyone tell you the players at PartyPoker aren’t special. Short bus special. During their “Three Billionth Hand” celebration this week, everyone at the table on that milestone deal got $10K, with $50K added for the person who would go on to win the pot. Iggy from Guinness and Poker cribbed this post from the 2+2 Forums:
“Humorously, 4 of the 6 players at the table folded before the river. Apparently the 10,000+:1 odds on their money to chase a miracle runner-runner were not appetizing enough to warrant a call. At least one player was clearly aware of the situation at hand proclaiming “we did it” in the chat box before the flop. The same player folded after the flop.”
There is no mercy in the passing lane… [Guinness and Poker]
One day, everything will be a wager, from a hand of poker to the likelihood you'll be struck down by a bioterror attack before the next brain backup. One day. For now, there's Oddjack. It's a sneak peek at the future of gambling.
