Paddy Power’s Finger Firmly Pressed to Pulse of NFL

READ MORE: Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, Monday Night Football, NFL Betting, Paddy Power

As we saw last week, Paddy Power proves that unless it’s just showing the straight line on an NFL game, it has no idea what it’s talking about. Observe this week’s lovely “First Touchdown Scorer” prop bet for the Minnesota Vikings. We’re sure Keenan Howry, deactivated from the team almost a month ago, is pleased to know he’s an 18/1 favorite to score first, ahead of tight end Jermaine Wiggins and personal friend of Paddy Power “Jimmy” Kleinsasser.

First Touchdown Scorer [PaddyPower]
Paddy Power: Handicapping MNF Like the Drunks They Are [Oddjack]

Betting on the Lilting Bark of the Bingo Caller

READ MORE: 2005", Bingo, Caller, Paddy Power

When we’re old, lonely and incontinent, we fully intend to join as my many Bingo clubs as possible. In fact, we may do it sooner just because we love the smell of old people. That’s what happens when your first job is in a nursing home.

In keeping up with their shameless betting propositions, the oddsmaking liver spots at Paddy Power are offering odds on Bingo Caller of the Year 2005. Yep. Hollerin’ Brett Hyrjak (South of England) is the heavy favorite at 15/8, followed by Matt “The Uvula” Adlington(Midlands) at 2/1. Longshot odds go to Gary Wilson(North East) at 9/1 who doesn’t deserve a nickname.

Bingo Caller of the Year 2005 [PaddyPower]

Paddy Power Places Odds On The UK’s Best Breasts

READ MORE: Bernice and Todd, Bombs, Boobs, Breast Ever, Paddy Power, Page 3

Irish bookmaker Paddy Power attempts to redeem itself for its Monday Night Football follies, by offering odds on will be named The Sun’s “Breast Ever” Page 3 girl. For those not familiar with the notorious Page 3, well, it’s basically just a page devoted to young English girls with their tops off dancing in fields. Wee. Prepare for the not safe for works links to follow.

The odds on favorite for rack royalty is Keeley at 5/2. At the other end of the spectrum is 40/1 longshot Vivien Neves, who is most likely close to 50-years-old at this point and not sporting the same perkiness that helped her get onto Page 3 more than 30 years ago. Poor thing.

Page 3 [Page3]
Who Will Be Crowned The Sun’s ‘Breast Ever’ Page 3 Girl? [PaddyPower]

Paddy Power: Handicapping MNF Like The Drunks They Are

READ MORE: Dallas Cowboys, Monday Night Football, NFL Betting, Paddy Power, Philadelphia Eagles

We can knock Irish bookmakers Paddy Power about a lot of things—their propensity for prop bets about seemingly anything on the planet, being the first—and here’s another one. When trolling their prop bets for tonight’s NFL game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys we noticed some interesting names listed on their clumsy “First Touchdown Scorer” line:

That highlighted name is supposed to be journeyman wide receiver Darnerian McCants, who is currently listed as the fifth wide receiver on the Eagle’s depth chart. We’re assuming that the Irish guys just figure that without Terrell Owens, any old wide receiver has 14/1 odds at scoring first in tonight’s game. Even ones who won’t even play. We’re also happy to see that fullback Jon Ritchie has 18/1 odds of scoring, given that, well, he’s been cut from the team. And Reno Mahe’s chances of recovering a fumble on punt return duties are apparently as strong as third-down back Lamar Gordon at 33/1. Imagining a few reckless Irish punters screaming at the television tonight to “Throw the ball to Ritchie!” just makes our day so much more fun.

First Touchdown Scorer [PaddyPower]

Pageant Betting(Again): Mr. Gay UK Likes To Play Peek-A-Boo

READ MORE: Mr. Gay UK, Paddy Power, Pageant Betting, Will Leitch Likes Dudes

Ah, England. We never thought that there were so many things these regal people would care about—let alone bet on. But, of course, if there’s any kind of competition, there are Euros to be tossed around. Take the Mr. Gay UK pageant in which a group of homotastic young dudes battle it out in a spledid display of well-oiled masculinity. Right now, the favorites are Mark Dunn of Manchester and Richard Carr of Birmingham who are both listed at 6/1 to prance, prance, prance off to victory. Longshot odds belong to Thomas Taylor of Leeds, who we can only assume just can’t dance.

We’ve also just realized there is probably no chance in hell any Oddjack readers will click any of the above links. God, we suck as an editor.

Mr. Gay UK Betting Odds [Paddy Power]
Pageant Betting: I’m Miss World 2005 [Oddjack]

Pageant Betting: I’m Miss World 2005

READ MORE: Miss World 2005, Paddy Power, Pageant Betting

Whoopa. It’s that time of the year again where long-legged ladies from all across the globe get all dressed up in evening gowns, perfect hoola-hoop routines and memorize their country’s national anthem. Yep, it’s already Miss World 2005 season. Its seems like only last year it was Miss World 2004. The Paddy Power hooligans have all of their odds set for this year’s competition, which is supposed to be a good ol’ fashioned alley cat screecher. Miss Philippines is the lead favorite at 8/1, with a logjam at the second spot between Miss England, Miss Norway and, goodness gracious, Miss Namibia all at 12/1. The spritely vixen from the United States is only getting 50/1 odds. Longshot odds go to Miss Congo Democratic Republique at 200/1. Awww.

Miss World 2005 Odds [Paddy Power]
Miss World 2005 [MissWorldHomepage]

Political Betting: The Wishful Thinking of Ireland

READ MORE: Bushgate, George W. Bush, Paddy Power

The lively punting chaps in Ireland are obviously dumbfounded at the fact that President George W. Bush is still in office. They reference the war in Iraq, the Karl Rove controversy, the Supreme Court screw-ups, the botched Hurrican Katrina aid, etc., and therefore, have issued a line on whether or not Bush will finish out the final two years of his term. Right now, Paddy Power is offering 10/1 if G.W. all of the sudden develops a weak conscience and decides to step aside. That’s the only way that’ll happen because, as we know, we only impeach our presidents if an intern blows them.

Bushgate? [Paddy Power]

Do They Know It’s Christmas Time At All?

READ MORE: Celebrity Betting, Choirboys, Paddy Power, UK Christmas Single, Westlife, William Hill

Every year Christmas seems to come earlier. In fact, this year, we noticed the line for Santa Claus at Macy’s beginning to form during Labor Day weekend. And in the UK, Christmas starts even earlier. Or at least the battle for UK’s number one Christmas single. Yes, apparently this is as big a deal in the UK, which automatically results in punting lines. Yes, both Paddy Power and William Hill have a giant list of potential number one Christmas singles to bet on. Paddy Power favors boyband Westlife and their single “When You Tell Me That You Love Me” a duet with cracked out Diana Ross, which is getting 2/1 odds. William Hill also loves Westlife, but also is offering 12/1 odds on rival boy band, the Choirboys, who are being hailed as the Backstreet Boys of choir music. They will release a cover of Eric Clapton’s “Tears of Heaven” to the UK charts because nothing gets people in the holiday spirit more than a song about a small boy falling out of a 50-story New York City apartment window and plummeting to his death.

UK Christmas Single [PaddyPower]
Christmas No.1 2005 [WilliamHill]
Choirboys and Westlife Set For Christmas Battle [ManchesterOnline]

Religious Betting: Betting On Ireland’s Favorite Saint

READ MORE: Paddy Power, Religious Betting, Saints

Disregarding the potential for blasphemy, the Catholic-happy punters over at Paddy Power have wagers on which saint will be named the favorite of Ireland in an upcoming vote via the Gerry Ryan show which will be named on All Saint’s Day of this year. Right now, the heavy favorite is Saint Anthony at 8/13, followed by St. Therese de Lisieux, 11/4, Pope John Paul II at 5/1, St Padre Pio at 8/1 , and St. Gerard get the longshot necklace at 20/1. As well know, Paddy Power takes religion quite seriously and in no way intends to offend Catholicism.

Who Will Be Voted Ireland’s Favorite Saint? [Paddy Power]

Celebrity Betting: Name the Space Fetus

READ MORE: Baby Names, Celebrity Betting, Dianetics, Katie Holmes, Paddy Power, Tom Cruise

Jesus-loving sportsbooks Paddy Power are trying desperately to capitalize on some of their notorious publicity by being the first to offer odds on the name of the alien offspring Katie Holmes’ Dianetics-poisoned womb shall eject. For those of you who can’t follow our purple prose, we’re trying to report that Paddy Power has odds on the name of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ baby. Right now, the knee-jerk favorites at 8/1 are “Tom” and “Katie.” The odds get a little steeper for names such as “Maguire” (66/1) and “Dawson” (40/1) and then go completely over the cliff with “Maverick”(100/1) and “Goose” or “Iceman” at 500/1. No Battlefield Earth references? No “Terl” or “Jonnie Goodboy Tyler” or “Ker?” We think Paddy Power needs to reacquaint itself with L.Ron Hubbard inspired humor.

What Will Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Call Their First Child? [Paddy Power]
Previously: Can Oprah Defeat Scientology? [Oddjack]

Irish Catholics 1, Paddy Power 0

READ MORE: Gambling Ads, Last Supper, Paddy Power

It didn’t take that many people to complain or bookmakers burned in effigy, but Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is pulling its “Last Supper” ads due to hundreds of protests. Paddy Power said it’s “disappointed” by the decision and said that people took the joke “a little too seriously.” But after Paddy Power realized all the publicity saved them millions on ad campaigns for the rest of the year, they all went out and got smashed.

Irish Billboards of Gambling Jesus Pulled [AP]

The Passion of the Paddy Power

READ MORE: Jesus Ad, Paddy Power

Online whiskey-guzzling sportsbook Paddy Power’s edgy new advertising campaign has wrankled some Christian groups who feel that the their latest advertisement is a little insensitive to Irish Catholics. The new ad depicts Da Vinci’s famous Last Supper painting as Jesus and his Apostles sit around the table drinking wine, looking all sad, and being Jesus-y. The Paddy Power ad has Jesus and his followers sitting around the table, drinking wine, and, um, gambling. The ads have been branded by by some Irish Catholic followers as “vulgarity at its worst.” Right now, Paddy Power has no plans to discontinue the posters, which are shown in some parts of Ireland, but is encouraging any and all opinions about the ads via its website. We wonder if Jesus took the Niners last night too?

Paddy Power In Last Supper Ad Row [Belfast Telegraph]