Matriculate This

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Jeremy Olisar, a 21-year-old student at Carnegie Mellon University, won an online tournament at AbsolutePoker.com. That’s good. What’s also good, but not great, is the prize—a year’s college tuition and books. Now, as all college students (and their parents) know, that’s nothing to sneeze at. In Olisar’s case it comes to a tidy $15K (which seems a bit low for CMU).

But where’s the CASH? Tuition isn’t FUN. Where’s the bar-hopping until 6AM as you ride the crest of the adrenaline high? Can you find a stripper willing to trade a lap dance for your used copy of Advanced Polymer Chemistry? A bittersweet victory indeed. But Olisar doesn’t sound like any 21-year-old tournament winner we’ve ever encountered. When asked about his future plans, the senior (who is double-majoring in clarinet performance and music education…you can major in clarinet? How about air guitar?) said this:

“I don’t see myself living off of poker,” Olisar says. “I am probably going to pursue a career in music, and right now I am planning to go to grad school for a master’s in teaching.”

Wait, hasn’t he ever seen Rounders? He’s supposed to think he’s a poker god and quit school and start playing 60 hours a week. Is it possible that Olisar is…a reasonable college student? Yeah, we’re scared too.

CMU student wins tuition in poker tournament [PittsburghLIVE.com]