The Rake: Wil Wheaton, Poker Is The New “Getting Laid,” and a Looney Claim
READ MORE: Poker, Rake
· Wil Wheaton celebrates 33rd birthday by doing the same thing you doughy bastards are doing every Friday and Saturday night - playing online poker. Congrats to Wil on your SNG win. [Wil Wheaton]
· “Poker Counselor” John Carlisle is back, dealing with someone who claims their sex drive has waned since playing poker online “every extra minute” he has. We always said the only thing separating online poker from perfection was a distinct lack of bee-jays. [Poker News]
· Greg Raymer busted out of the WSOP? Why didn’t anyone tell us until now?!?!?! [Philadelphia Daily News]
· In tonight’s episode of Veronica Mars, Veronica investigates missing winnings from a poker game. Hint - they’re in our pants, front pocket. [Chicago Tribune]
· College campus poker addiction is compared to the onset of crack. The drug. By a guy named “Ed Looney.” Insert joke in this space please. [AlterNet]
The Rake: Poker Survivor, Bay 101 Insanity, and The Beast Takes On Poker
READ MORE: Poker, Rake
· Writer muses the “flavor” of poker, states online poker is vanilla. Bullshit, with all those calling stations and suckouts, it’s more like Rocky Road. [The Desert Sun]
· Poker blogger -EV recaps the insanity from The Travel Channel’s rebroadcast of last year’s Bay 101 event. “My goodness it was like a Party .50/1 NL game at that final table.” [Fool and His Money]
· Reality TV stars are being lined up for the next season of Bravo’s Celebrity Poker Showdown. Can we all agree to vote this show off the island next time Probst comes around? [PokerFilter]
· Milwaukee’s Best beer is sponsoring “The World’s Largest Poker Table.” Let’s see, two cards per player, three burn cards, five on the board… No one ever accused Wisconsonians of being rocket scientists. [Poker 777]
· Forbes magazine offers their “best of the web,” which had our Gizmodo associates doing “the robot” to old Pointer Sisters albums in glee all day yesterday. They did, however, pick an assortment of poker sites too. We was robbed. [Forbes]
· We’ll link this here because we found it via a poker blogger: Vegas flights just got cheaper. [Res Ipsa Poker]
· Coming to a moose lodge near you: The Great Canadian Poker Tournament. Finally, some love for our well-mannered mongoloid cousins to the North. [Marketwire]
The Rake: Seven Gets You a Mil, Worst Poker Gift Ever, and Tilly/Gershon On Our Mind
READ MORE: Jennifer Tilly, Poker, Rake
· Online website Noble Poker offers $1M to anyone who can win seven consecutive sit-n-go tournaments. Should be offering $1M to anyone willing to stick it out on their crappy site for seven consecutive days. [Emediawire]
· New “Shuffle Zone” Hold ‘Em playing surface features clearly marked spaces for the flop, turn, and river. Now taking the lead in the “crappy poker-related gift your mom thinks you’ll like this Christmas” sweepstakes… [ArriveNet]
· Jennifer Tilly is being credited as playing a part in poker’s popularity. Between that and the “bringing hot lesbo action to the big screen” thing she did with “Bound,” Jennifer Tilly gets a lifetime pass from the wrath of Oddjack. [Las Vegas Sun]
· Now competing for poker’s online gambling dollars: online backgammon. What’s next? Shuffleboard? Do we need to wear socks with our sandals and those big elderly sunglasses to fit in with this new fad? [Business Wire]
· Poker blogger Asia K makes the case for why she could give a shit if there are women-only events or not in the WSOP. We assume all Internet girls are hot until their webcams prove otherwise. [aK(a): asia K]
· How about a headline that needs no punchline: Entrepeneur (sic) Invests Life Savings into “Poker Player Cologne.” [Emediawire]
· Sears to offer poker chip set branded with your favorite NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series drivers. Lines already forming outside Sears stores in Alabama, Tennessee, and Mississippi. [Truck Series]
· University of Alberta’s poker AI robot “Poki” lost the World Series of Robot Poker to an amateur program. Actual quote, “We have some analysis that shows that we played better…” Robot poker is so rigged. [Pokerfilter]
The Rake: Table Wimp, Neuroblastoma, and No Poker, No Peace
READ MORE: Doyle Brunson, Greg Raymer, Poker, Rake, WPT
· Poker Counselor’s Corner returns with question from 98 lb weakling tired of being pushed around at the tables. We advise mirrored sunglasses, a PartyPoker hat, and your best heavy metal t-shirt. That should make people take you seriously. [PokerNews]
· Business Week claims Doyle Brunson is still in talks to take over WPT Enterprises. We’re not sick enough of Vince Van Patten to take over a company, but to each their own. [Business Week]
· “Mean” Gene Bromberg reads and reviews The Professor, The Banker, and the Suicide King: Inside the Richest Poker Game Of All Time. Our “ten/twenty” blinds are usually measured in dimes. The big game’s? Check it out. [Poker Magazine]
· “Todd Gusto” is apparently a musician who used to date Angelina Jolie and host celebrity poker tournaments. His new CD features the song, “I Spent $600 Text-Messaging Votes for Bo Bice and All I Got Was This Cheap Simulated-Leather Cell Phone Pouch.” We would spend $15 for his CD, but all we’d get is irritated and angry. [Metroactive Music]
· Virginia club schedules charity poker tournament to benefit rare brain cancer called “neuroblastoma.” Sounds like the title of the new Megadeth album, or just might be the most kick-ass disease of all time. [Roanoke.com]
· Is online poker legal in Thailand? Police Major Wacharin Jiratthitikarlwiwat says no. Child prostitution and rampant opium use is still a “grey” area. [Phuket Gazette]
· Televised poker is lumped in with competitive eating and made-up sports awards shows as “drivel” the networks trot out in the dog days of summer. Now, if they can only have Kobayashi go heads-up with Greg Raymer over a plate of Krispy Kremes, we could have it all. [Orlando Sentinel]
· Brief story on the “No Poker, No Peace” rally last week, where NYC protesters played poker to show their displeasure over the police busts of illegal underground poker clubs. They insisted, “poker is a game, not a crime.” Unless, of course, you’re playing in an illegal club that is making a profit from your activity. [Downtown Express]
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The Rake: Los Angeles Times, Bar Room Freebies, and Drew Barrymore Ruins Poker
READ MORE: Joe Hachem, Poker, Rake
· Yet another complaint, this one from Los Angeles Times Sports Editor Bill Dwyre, that poker is not worth the ink it’s getting. We’ll just point out Times circulation has fallen 7.9% and 6.5% in the last two years. Maybe trends are worth following after all Dwy-Dwy? [San Diego Union Tribune]
· No buy-in poker is under assault in North Carolina, with both sides debating legality. Yeah, three hours of bar poker to maybe win a t-shirt or lukewarm bottle of Coors’ is certainly worth getting worked up about. [Charlotte Observer]
· Poker pro Charlie “Scotty Warbucks” Shoten self-publishes auto-bio/self-help poker tome. Shoten is truly one of the good guys in poker. [LasVegasVegas]
· Press releases continue to choke the Net with various online poker sites patting themselves on the back over the finish positions of their reps. Joe Hachem beats chest, points to sky, screams “SCOREBOARD!” [ArriveNet]
· Should Northern Kentucky U “push their chips all-in” and move to NCAA D-I for sports? Wow! Poker can be a metaphor for anything! Now write one about how poker is like getting a freeway carpool lane budgeted through the state legislature! [Cold Spring Community Press]
· Getting a freeway carpool lane budgeted through the state legislature is just like poker. Sheesh, we were being facetious. [Los Angeles Daily News]
· Honest-to-god poker writer Steve Rosenbloom gets column syndicated to outlets nationwide. Definitely worth a weekly read. [Providence Journal]
· Who’s who of poker to appear in Drew Barrymore romantic comedy Lucky You. Hollywood makeup artists throw hands in air wondering what they need to do to make Barry Greenstein look even marginally less freaky-scary. [About.com]
The Rake: Potato Famine, Hachem’s (with)Holdings, and Holodeck Lovin’
READ MORE: Poker, Rake, WSOP 2005
· Irish newspaper claims hype for poker in UK is due to “Jo” Hachem and Belfast-born “Adam” Black. We could take a cheap shot and call this lazy reporting just another drunk Irish writer with a pen and fifteen minutes to write, but we’ll instead blame this on the potato famine. There’s nothing that distracts the Irish like a good potato famine. [Belfast Telegraph]
· Looks like Joe Hachem is likely on the hook for about a 48% tax hit on his WSOP win. Website reporting is called “Crikey,” which was a word we thought that Croc Hunter dude made up. Oh stereotypes, you fail to let us down yet again. [Crikey]
· Poker blogger explores when and why you absolutely should fold Ace-King late in a single table tournament online. It’s math-heavy, but makes a great point about late-game strategy in a tournament. [Poker Nerd]
· Survey asserts only 8% of poker players actually make money doing so, and only 50% of men find poker playing women sexy. That’s what you get for putting your poker survey in Details magazine. [Bill Rini]
· Phil “Unabomber” Laak beats poker robot in heads-up competition. Robo-tech setback disappoints Trekkie nerds who realize they are no closer to Holodeck sex with Counselor Troi. [PokerNews]
· Annie Duke quoted saying “An interesting thing happens when you put a woman at a poker table.” Yeah, all of a sudden we have to get our own beers out of the fridge. [Globe and Mail]
· Local sports writer “gives this poker thing a try.” After reading this, we encourage Virginia’s John Harvey to deposit some real money online and to please look for us at the Hold ‘Em tables. [Virginia Gazette]
· Is it too late to do a hero-worship interview with Chris Moneymaker? He’s done exactly what now since the 2003 WSOP? Orlando Sentinel editors think this is news. [Orlando Sentinel]
The Rake: New WSOP TV, Poker Filter Launch, and Discount Seafood
READ MORE: Poker, Rake
· New episodes of 2005 WSOP events begin to air tonight on ESPN. Marginal chuckles at the wit of Norman Chad due to turn into burning acidic distaste by August 5th. [Boston Herald]
· WSOP craze credited for bringing more people to online gambling. God bless those crazy dead money bastards. [Online Casino Reports]
· Egghead laments that poker gets sports page status while bridge and chess relegated to “features” section. Also complains the “Jumble” is too easy, and truth-in-advertising laws should apply to paper’s personal ads featuring the phrase “weight proportional to height.” [Herald Tribune]
· Norman Chad explains how he and Lon McEachern do the commentary on WSOP events weeks after they happen from a studio. We only link because Chad’s father is quoted calling his son an idiot. [North Jersey]
· More of “this pokering on TV has got to go” griping. What’s the alternative? The WNBA? More shows where something/someone gets remodeled for $1000 or less? We’ll watch Popeil peddle the latest in Ronco technology before we sit through someone’s living room getting a discount decoration for the umpteenth time. [San Gabriel Valley Tribune]
· Blogger Bill Rini releases “Poker Filter,” a MetaFilter style source for poker information, comment, and commentary. Pretty cool. [Bill Rini]
· Binion’s Casino mulling over its own future in tournament poker. We go downtown for the $.99 shrimp, we stay for the fishy tourist poker games. [Las Vegas Sun]
· (Obvious joke ahead) Press release trumpets “Poker” is last week’s most popular Lycos search term, “pushing Paris Hilton (#6) to one of her lowest ranks ever.” Maybe it’s just us, but it isn’t that special anymore to see Paris Hilton going down. [Yahoo Biz]
The Rake: Annie Duke, Suckout City, and Poker-Faced Lesbians
READ MORE: Annie Duke, Poker, Rake, Vegas
· Thank god someone captured the celebrity supernova that is Norman Chad for an interview. We’re just as ridiculously pithy over here Chicago Tribune. Hey! Over here! [Chicago Tribune]
· Series called “Annie Duke Takes On The World” to begin production. Porn producers left scratching their heads how to turn that title on its ear for their own naked knockoff. [Yahoo Biz]
· Newspaper shows differences between blog coverage of WSOP happenings, pimping Dr. Pauly at Tao Of Poker along the way. Real difference is that CardPlayer is a huge team of hard working writers, and we’re pretty sure Pauly is just making it up as he goes along. [Kansas City Star]
· Colorado cop slapped on the wrist for playing poker in a weekly restaurant game. First mistake was using the poker nickname “Lieutenant Rick Tudor.” [Colorado Springs Gazette]
· We’re not sure what this article is all about, we didn’t click in, and it requires a subscription to read. However, we really enjoyed the teaser, which referred to “poker-faced lesbians.” [Boulder Daily Camera]
· Poker Counselor’s Corner returns with a gripe about all those idiots who call all-in with “junk” playing online. We promise emailing complainer “Huckabee” we’ll start check-raising you with 2-7 offsuit instead of just pushing all-in from this point forward. [PokerNews]
· Vegas Rock Star Poker Tournament announced for August at the Palms in Las Vegas. We’ve had B-list celebrities, NASCAR drivers, and now rock stars belly up to the table for “reality TV.” We just wish someone would develop a show with Annie Duke whose title sounds more like an open invitation for a gangbang than a poker tournament, then our lives would be complete. [Casino City Times]
One day, everything will be a wager, from a hand of poker to the likelihood you'll be struck down by a bioterror attack before the next brain backup. One day. For now, there's Oddjack. It's a sneak peek at the future of gambling.
