Oddjack Polls: Congratulations, Scott Engel, You Spooky SOB
READ MORE: Fantasy Football, Oddjack Polls, Scott Engel
We posed the question and you answered. Scott Engel, ESPN’s fantasy football elephant man, won our poll in a landslide. His parents, wife, and children must be so proud.
Oddjack Polls: Fantasy Football Writers [Oddjack]
Fantasy Football: Maybe Daunte Culpepper Needs to be Burped?
READ MORE: Daunte Culpepper, Fantasy Football, Scott Engel
The scary mug of ESPN’s Scott Engel chimes in this morning about the troublesome quarterback situation in Minnesota with Daunte Culpepper. Engel’s wrankled, he’s chafed—he’s as upset about your number one fantasy football pick as you are:
Culpepper has been done in by the loss of Randy Moss and the invisible play of his current receivers in his first two games. A limp running game hasn’t helped, either. Consider benching Burleson until he shows signs of playing better, while avoiding all other Vikings as starters except for Culpepper in the near future. Starting Culpepper in Week 3 will be no easy decision, but facing the New Orleans defense should be easier than the units he faced in Weeks 1 and 2 (Tampa Bay, Cincinnati).
Engel’s aghast. He didn’t even shave this morning he was so distraught. Does he even have to shave? We imagine him growing one of those weird Wolfman-style jowel growths like Cliff Clavin grew during the beard growing competition in Cheers. Enough about that. Engel also thinks Detroit Lions’ quarterback Joey Harrington needs to be put to sleep. Everybody knew this guy was Heath Shuler part II. Don’t be suprised if Harrington is donning a baseball cap on the sidelines for another team next year.
FFL Sunday Review [ESPNINSIDER (sub. req.)]
Fantasy Football: Ah! Scott Engel! Yaggh!
READ MORE: Fantasy Football, Scott Engel
We know most of you are too terrified of ESPN fantasy football writer Scott Engel’s strange looking headshot to even click on his weekly roundup, but luckily for us, we’re brave enough to do so. (We spent the weekend practicing clicking on the page and then prying our eyes away from the photo just so we could get enough information for Monday. We had the same problem when we saw “Mask” the first twelve times.)
· Engel thinks San Francisco wide receiver Brandon Lloyd has some viability in fantasy leagues.
· He thinks Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson may fuck shit up for Priest Holmes owners. Not too much, though.
· He says the Minnesota Vikings offense looks “shaky”. It’s the first game, dude. We know this is just him projecting his anger onto Mike Tice. Not everybody can be Marcus Shenkenberg, Scott.
· He uses the homo-erotic subhead “The Cadillac a Great Ride” in praising Tampa Bay Buc’s running back Carnell “Cadillac” Williams.
· He says the Miami Dolphis aren’t pushovers. Tight End Randy McMichael and running back Ronnie Brown are still good options. McMichael’s fine, but there’s still no reason to believe the Dolphis will put up points like this on a regular basis. Engel’s a retard.
· Engel says Pittsburgh Steelers’ running back Willie Parker could be a mainstay in the Steelers’ offense. Bold statement. What with two over-the-hill yardage and goal line backs in the team’s arsenal, why would they want to use somebody who is actually quick?
But, of course, if you’re not paying for ESPN Insider you always miss this every week…
YAGGGH!
FFL Sunday Review [ESPN Insider (sub. req.)]
Fantasy Sports: Scott Engel Chews Through His Cage
READ MORE: ESPN Insider, Fantasy Football, Fantasy Sports, Scott Engel
We’re absolutely terrified of Scott Engel. Sometimes we won’t even open our Insider account during football season just because his spooky-ass visage may pop up and scare us:
See? Scary! Imagine you’re just reading a nice letter from a fantasy football league owner discussing whether or not he should start the Pittsburgh Steeler’s Willie Parker or the Carolina Panther’s Stephen Davis and then….
YAGGGH! He’s terrifying. ESPN needs to do something about this. And for the love of god, please don’t let Engel have one of those creepy animatronic heads like some of the Page 2 columnists. We’ll have nightmares for that will last a lifetime.
FFL Mailbag [ESPN INsider(sub.req.)]
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