Brandon Lane: Not As Good As He Thinks He Is

READ MORE: Brandon Lane, NFL Betting, Sedge Court Journal, Two For the Money

Apparently, superstud football picking phenom Brandon Lane has yet to recapture the magic touch of his youth which prompted the release of his lifestory on the big screen in the upcoming Two For the Money. So far this year, Lane’s free picks have been rather ordinary to say the least. Brandon’s free pick tally so far this year? 5-8-1. His pre-season picks? 0-3. With that kind of record we wonder if a sequel to Two For the Money is in the works based on the lifestory of Gambling 911’s Lisa “The Greek” Perry.

(Thanks to Rob from the incomparable Sedge Court Journal football picking crew for the heads-up.)
Previously: Brandon Lane Enjoying 15 Minutes More Intensely Than Most [Oddjack]

The Art of Language in Football Picks

READ MORE: Bloggers, Football Betting, Sedge Court Journal

Leave it to the Sedge Court Journal crew to add some color to their football betting picks for the week—especially from a fella named Vinny the Squirtz:

Whazzup bitches, Vinny coming at you from San Diego with some fresh picks for the week. But before I do that I want to clear up a few things…. 1. Oklahoma sucks fat dick and blew my 4-team parlay last Saturday by not showing up yet again. Hear this Adrian Peterson, whoever thought you could play in the NFL LAST YEAR should be shot. 2. The Michigan State-ND game will be the game of the year, Drew Stanton is a darkhorse canidate for the Heisman. Watch him blow up next week against Michigan..but beware of this week, MSU plays like shit after dominating a top 10 squad.

Hmm. Are we surprised that this man is named Vinny? Or “Squirtz” for that matter? But we love his logic about Michigan State. We are not however certain of Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson’s sexual orientation.

3-1 Overall This Week in College Ball…4-0 This Week? [Sedge Court Journal]

NFL Betting: Has Wayne Allyn Root Lost His Mojo?

READ MORE: Handicapping, NFL Betting, Sedge Court Journal, Wayne Allyn Root

Or did he ever have any? The cranktastic Midwestern handicapping grunts over at SedgeCourtJournal are keeping a running total of handicapping icon—and multi-millionaire—Wayne Allyn Root’s football picks and, so far, he’s been sitting in their charming “Shit the Bed” category all year at 0-6. Reason #4,565 not to pay for handicapping services.

Week Three Report Card [Sedge Court Journal]

Wannstedt’s Mustache Hides the Number of the Beast

READ MORE: Dave Wannstedt, Sedge Court Journal, University of Pittsburgh

After another demoralizing loss as 14 point favorites on Friday night against THE—wait, ahem, sorry—Ohio University, University of Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt has already seen his young coaching tenure turn to runny poo thanks to two horrible performances back-to-back. Yet, the messianic cranks over at Sedge Court Journal are thinking all Iron Maiden about Wannstedt these days. That he is, in fact, the Anti-Christ:

Our ancestor’s used Numerology to make sense of a complex and mysterious world. Using this ancient art we can examine his name in a search for answers. 13 is universally recognized as an unlucky number. Guess how many letters are used to spell Dave Wannstedt? 13! Or just for a moment consider this: Wannstedt uses 9 letters to spell his last name. Using numerology we can do this very simple calculation which potentially identifies him as the one “The Book of Revelations” called the “Beast” 3+3x3=18; 18= 6+6+6!!!!! Coincidence? I think not.

We have to agree since we took Pitt as well. We forget—did Al Pacino sport a mustache in The Devil’s Advocate?

Is Dave Wannstedt the Anti-Christ? [SedgeCourtJournal]

Sedge Court Journal vs. Wayne Allyn Root

READ MORE: NFL Betting, Sedge Court Journal, Wayne Allyn Root

Will the potty-mouthed football-bloggers from the Midwest with their overalls and hickiefied drawls be savvy enough to pick apart the Gordon Gecko-esque polish of Wayne Allyn Root’s handicapping mob? It’s a challenge the fellas at the Sedge Court Journal are throwing down when the season premiere of Wayne Allyn Root’s “The Winning Edge” airs Saturday. The Sedgies are tracking Root’s picks all year and plan to neddle and poke him in his expensive suits and poofy-haired glory as much as possible. We highly encourage this type of behavior.

The Winless Edge [SedgeCourtJournal]

Best NCAA Football Betting Pick So Far

READ MORE: NCAA Football Betting, Sedge Court Journal

Via the cranky cappers at Sedge Court Journal:

Temple (+31) at Arizona State.

I am rolling with the Owl’s on this one. 31 points is a lot to give against a suspect and cocky Arizona State. I say who gives a fuck that Temple just benched 7 players for academics. The starters and benchwarmers are all of the same level of suckiness ,so I don’t see that much of a difference in the owls performance. Arizona is not a team that blows their oppenents out. This line is out of whack. Take the points.

Listen Up Idiots, I’m Done Screwing Around [SedgeCourt]

We Knew It. Handicap Services Are For Shit

READ MORE: Football Handicapping, Sedge Court Journal

So says the potty-mouthed ruffians at the Sedge Court Journal who ably answer our hypothetical question about why anybody would pay for a handicapping service:

Our thesis is simple: The Free Picks are the strongest plays a handicapper releases.

Now of course the “Pro’s” will claim that it’s the other way around; but any ounce of common sense should tell you that releasing mediocre plays that fail to provide positive results is not a successful formula for gaining new clients.

And if you have been paying attention you will notice that many of the more popular professional handicappers are giving out all kinds of free picks all over the web, airwaves, and phone lines, week after week. Take for example the famous handicapper Larry Ness. Larry contributes to the winningedge.com, covers.com, vegasexperts.com, freepicksbyemail.com, he has a 800 number service, he has free picks in “The Edge” weekly newsletter, and he provides his “best bet” weekly on the Winning Edge television show. With all these free picks why would anyone ever want to pay for handicapping advice? And more importantly with all these free picks how does he have time to truly handicap the games he is charging for?

(Ignore the shout out to us and read the rest of the text.)

Shout Out to Oddjack [Sedge Court Journal]

Free Football Picks Galore From Men Who Curse

READ MORE: Free Picks, NFL Betting, Sedge Court Journal, Sharp Juice

It’s amazing to us how so many people plop down some cash for handicapping services based on a few minor runs. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. That’s the best advice we can give. And also seek out the places that give away the free picks on the web and use their logic sparingly. Sharpjuice is on a roll so far, as is this cranky bunch at the Sedge Court Journal, which combines sound football handicapping skills with a love for creative profanity and exclamation marks. We can happily admit to having a non-homo crush and a prolonged admiration as long as they win some of the time. Under on the Steelers/Eagles last night however was a bad fucking call. But who are we to talk?

Hey, it’s a long season(and still pre-season), you cocks.

Battle for the Keystone State [Sedge Court Journal]