The Brits Are Kicking Up A Betting Storm
READ MORE: Cricket, England, Rugby, soccer
How can it be that the greatest gambling weekend in the world is apparently in England this weekend? Well, because those crazy bastards across the pond are absolutely fired up to gamble on anything and everything like who’s the most handsome British homo. But tomorrow, well, it’s something special for the madcap punters. With England’s cricket, rugby and football teams all playing international matches on Saturday plus the first big chase of the new National Hunt season taking place at Cheltenham, bookies are predicting a national betting frenzy. Paddy Power says it will be one of the biggest betting weekends ever. Then they said this:
“Everyone will be watching something and you can guarantee they will be having a tenner here and there. We know how popular the first scorer, most runs or a flutter on a horse is at the moment.”
And now we’re completely confused. Horse fluttering sounds so…dirty.
Fantasy Football News: Ah, Europe…
READ MORE: Fantasy Football, soccer
Why the crap did we draft Tomlinson so high then?
Fantasy Football [FEFA]
(Non-American) Football Betting: It’s Come To This
READ MORE: Ajax, Arsenal, Benfica, Football Betting, Larry Johnson, Manchester, Paddy Power, United", soccer
Fuck this NFL shit. We’re sick and tired of losing each week on dumb-ass plays because this early season horseshit is just killing us. We’ve offically retired from NFL betting until like, oh, Week 6. Then we can get some footing back and make up for some of our losses. (Seriously, Chiefs, what the crusty donkey twat was going last night? Larry Johnson fumbling? Why couldn’t he pretend it was his girlfriend’s throat? At least we know he would’ve held on.)
Alas, we’ve moved on to the sissy games across the pond and are now resigning ourselves to betting on(limp-wristed drumroll, please…) “soccer.” And we dont’ even know anything about these matches today, but we figure it’s just as good as us betting on the NFL at this point. (Seriously, we suck. How much do we suck? We’re moving to Delaware next week just to be closer to bankruptcy lawyers.)
And also, since we’re betting on this thing they call “soccer” we get to experience the beauty of the Asian Handicap, which allows us to post this picture again:
Yep. Now, anybody know anything about Ajax or Benfica?
Ajax vs. Arsenal [Paddy Power]
Manchester United vs. Benfica [Paddy Power]
Celebrity Betting: Roonaldo!
READ MORE: Celebrity Betting, Paddy Power, Wayne Rooney, soccer
This is how we can tell that soccer is not popular in America. Most of us probably have no idea who Wayne Rooney is. We know David Beckham, sure, but that’s because he wants to be American sooo desperately that we just tolerate him. However, apparently there is another “footballer” named Wayne Rooney who is quite the cat’s ass overseas. Good for him. And apparently he is ready to procreate because Paddy Power will soon be releasing odds on the little kicker’s name. Wayne and Coleen(the mother, supposedly) are the favorites at this point, but with Footballer’s penchant for giving their brood proper noun names, there are some other potentials like Everton, Rio, Cricket all sporting definitive longshot odds.
Novelties [Paddy Power]
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Asian Handicap Betting—Not What You Think
READ MORE: Asian Handicap Betting, Football, Gambling, soccer
Don’t be fooled by the name. We saw the story on “Asian Handicap Betting” as well and got very excited about the prospects of betting on something similar to Spike TV’s Most Extreme Elimination Challenge where the competitors compete in those wacky obstacle course-like challenges. Except this time the competitors would have wheelchairs and ankle braces. Not the case. In fact this is the definition of Asian Handicap Betting according to Gambling911:
Asian-style handicap betting was primarily created as a means of making betting on soccer matches more attractive to the customer and is very popular in the Far East. A handicap is created to give a roughly equal chance to both teams. The favoured team will have to overcome a deficit of goals, while the other team will have a head start in goals.
Boooooo. Anyway, the story gives novice footbal(read: soccer) punters a list of the online sportsbooks that allow this type of bet.
Asian Handicap [Gambling 911]
Soccer: Was a Farmer, Had a Dog, JINGO Was His Name-O
READ MORE: Futures, Sports Betting, World Cup, soccer
America kicks ass. From the country that brought you everything that’s great, like The Beverly Hillbillies, Tex-Mex cuisine, and Paris Hilton, we bring you one more thing to wave your 1776 freak flag high over.
AMERICA IS RANKED HIGHER THAN ENGLAND IN SOCCER.
Call it football if you want to, we’ll send Ray Lewis and Ed Reed over to your “flat” for “high tea” to end that discussion. It’s soccer. And we rule. America is better than you are. Always. Don’t forget it you crumpet-chewing Queen-lovers.
And god bless those crazy nationalistic bastards across the pond, they refuse to acknowledge our absolute domination. Paddy Power lists England at 7-1 to win the next World Cup, and the USA is a 100-1 overlay. England’s own William Hill bookie shop has England at 7.5-1, and the USA at 101-1. Get your money down now, we’re going all Manifest Destiny on your asses.
It’s official: USA are better than England [SoccerNet]
CONCACAF Gold Cup: Bluntly, Jamaica Waits in the Weeds or America Smokes the Competition?
READ MORE: Concacaf, soccer
Don’t bogart that remote, dude! Saturday afternoon, we oddjackoffs will join the masses and tune in to The CONCACAF Gold Cup’s most watchable teams as they go head-to-head. In battle of the midfield generals, SoCal’s homegrown idol Landon Donovan will be burning it up at both ends against high-scoring superstar Jermaine Hue. At Bet365, Team USA are heavy favorites (2/7) while Jamaica’s Reggae Boyz (7/1) play underdogz. The Jamaicans have played to four ties in six games while the US has three in six. So our buds have made a joint decision – we’ll be scoring some green if the match sparks a draw (7/2).
CONCACAF Gold Cup odds [Bet365]
CONCACAF Gold Cup [home]
CONCACAF Gold Cup: USA v. Costa Rica
READ MORE: soccer
Is Landon Donovan the greatest soccer player America has ever produced? Ask Canada and Cuba, who were kicked to the curb as the US’s first round opponents in The CONCACAF Gold Cup. The good folks over at Bet365 agree, posting Donovan and the Americans as 4/9 favorites in tonight’s game against Costa Rica. The speedy midfielder has three goals in two games and the American are perfect thus far. The C-Ricans take more dives than Greg Louganis – three of their four scores have come on penalty kicks. They’ll spend a lot of time on the ground grabbing their shins – let’s hope Donovan is as good at upstaging injured phonies than he is at polishing off the opposition.
CONCACAF Gold Cup odds [Bet365]
Gold Cup info [SoccerNet]
Bayern Munich: Kicking the Away Teams While They’re Down
READ MORE: soccer
As Basil Fawlty so elegantly put it, when dealing with the Germans, “whatever you do, don’t mention the war!”. But when it comes to German football you can’t fail to notice that watching the so-called Beautiful Game is like watching Panzer tanks being built – it’s an assembly line of low-scoring, ball-control game-play. What makes the situation in the once mighty Bundesliga all the more frustrating is the deterioration in quality – no one but the fierce Bayern Munich can keep up with the international competition. So you shouldn’t be surprised that Intertops is offering a skimpy 3/1 that Bayern will go undefeated at home. We like those numbers and, in the fall, we’ll don lederhosen and watch Bayern shut down their offence after the first ten minutes of the play to complete 1-0 yawners.
Will Bayern Munich Go Undefeated At Home This Season? [Intertops]
Bundeslega Stats and News [Goal.com]
Cuba v. USA Soccer: Come On In Here, Boy, Have a Cigar…
READ MORE: soccer
The best US talent takes the field against Cuba Thursday in Seattle and Bet365 shares a lot of love for the gringo imperialistas. Bruce Arena’s team is experienced if a bit long in the tooth – isn’t goalkeep Kasey Keller eligible to join AARP yet? The Cubans, meanwhile, roughed up Trinidad AND Tobago (one nation, joined at the hip like Tom and Kate!) to win an improbable Caribbean bid. We like Cuba in this spot at 11/1. The girls of Varadero Beach have been good to us. Their goalie just sold us a box of Cohiba Siglos in the mens’ room at Pike’s Place Fish Market. Plus the Feds have been harboring a man who bombed a Cuban airliner. We owe them big time and a CONCACAF soccer game might be a good place for the Cubans to start.
CONCACAF Gold Cup: Cuba v. USA [Bet365]
Latest News, Highlights and Stats [CONCACAF]
CONCACAF Gold Cup: Hotter Than Tomatilla Sauce, Just As Difficult To Pronounce
READ MORE: soccer
Everyone else in the world calls it The Beautiful Game, but we call it soccer and nod off while our nephew Sid is playing at the local patch. Laying money certainly improves our concentration, however. On Thursday, Mexico’s veteran national soccer team gets down to defending her CONCACAF Gold Cup Championship, opening against a depleted South African squad. The Championship, encompassing The New World (North/Central/South America and the Caribbean), plays out in seven US cities. Bet365 likes Mexico a bunch in this round – get them at 4/6 while a bet on the South Africans (playing by invite – thanks for butting in, you wannabe cartographers…) will net you some Rands at 7/2.
CONCACAF Gold Cup [Bet365]
US Team Coverage [ussoccer.com]
Soccer: Kicking Round Balls Is Fun
READ MORE: soccer
We’ll admit it. We have no idea what the hell people are talking about when they bring up soccer. We still think of Airplane! when we hear the word “striker” and think a yellow card is still a band teenagers make out to in their dad’s car. But, we’re ignorant Americans. What can we do? But, alas, it’s a big world out there and plenty of people care about their beloved “football” as evidenced by the early lines and brief synopsis about the Premiership odds for 2005/2006 put forth by the spritely Brits over at Ladbrokes. (And we’ll learn more about soccer. We’ll go watch our 10-year-old nephew’s game this weekend, or something.)
Premiership: Winner 2005/2006 [Readabet]
One day, everything will be a wager, from a hand of poker to the likelihood you'll be struck down by a bioterror attack before the next brain backup. One day. For now, there's Oddjack. It's a sneak peek at the future of gambling.
