Fantasy Football: Hurricane Katrina Claims Another Victim

READ MORE: Deuce McAllister, Fantasy Football, New Orleans Saints, Tristan Cockroft

Oh, how we hate doing these stories. New Orleans Saints’ running back Deuce McAllister’s torn ACL has put him on the waiver wire for the season and completely ruined the seasons for many fantasy football owners nationwide. Yeah, Antowain Smith? Tremendous. Aaron Stecker? Yay. And ESPN Insider’s filthy-named columnist Tristan Cockroft goes even a step further and pretty much tells us that anybody having a New Orleans offensive player in their lineup should pretty much start writing the check now:

A quick look back at some of the most significant season-ending injuries to top-10 fantasy running backs over the past decade indicates we should be worried:

Edgerrin James, 2001: His knee injury in Week 7 caused the Colts to go 3-7 in their final 10 games, averaging four fewer points per contest with Dominic Rhodes as the starter than with James. Peyton Manning, meanwhile, had his worst non-rookie season. In six games with James around, he completed 66.9 percent of his passes and averaged 270.8 yards and 2.0 TDs; in his next 10, those numbers slipped to 61.3, 250.6 and 1.4.

Jamal Lewis, 2001: His season-ending knee injury happened in the preseason, but the impact on Elvis Grbac was readily apparent. His completion percentage slipped from 59.6 to 56.7, his passing yards per game from 277.6 to 216.6, his touchdown total dropped by 13 and he threw four more interceptions.

Oh, and there’s more, don’t worry. For more grim news, steal somebody’s account number and log onto ESPN Insider.

The Big Not-So-Easy [ESPN Insider(sub.req.)]

Fantasy Baseball: Throw Rafael Palmeiro Into the River

READ MORE: Fantasy Baseball, Rafael Palmeiro, Tristan Cockroft

ESPN’s Tristan Cockroft examines the value of holding onto the Baltimore Orioles’ medicinally confused first baseman Rafael Palmeiro now that he’s back in the Orioles lineup. Guess what he said? It wasn’t offer your best pitching prospect immediately, let’s put it that way. Cockroft says that at this time of the year, Palmeiro’s playing time will be so sporadic(and ineffective) that it’s best to drop him. Yes, we know already knew that, but we always like to see Cockroft get all feisty and annoyed with players. It’s rather amusing.

Raffy’s Return [ESPN]

Fantasy Baseball: Palmeiro Suspended, Owners Shouldn’t Feel, Um, Deflated

READ MORE: ESPN, Fantasy Baseball, Rafael Palmeiro, Tristan Cockroft

When Baltimore Orioles’ first baseman Rafael Palmeiro failed his steroid exam, the big story was the impact it’ll have on his career and how much of an idiot he looked like after being so adamant in front of Congress last March 12th during the major league baseball steroid hearings. But those of you who drafted him in the sixth or seventh round probably let out a collective ‘eh’ when the 10-game suspension was handed down. In his Out of the Box column, ESPN’s Tristan Cockroft pretty much summed up the feelings of Palmeiro fantasy owners everywhere:

The funny thing is that, as a fantasy baseball junkie throughout Palmeiro’s career, I can’t remember a single season in which anyone would have listed him as an “elite” player. He certainly never would have been a No. 1 overall pick — that instead would always go to your Barry Bonds, Pedro Martinez, Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez types — and most everyone would knock on the guy merely because he played first base or designated hitter — and those, of course, were “easy” positions to fill.

And it still is. You can get 28 home runs and 92 RBI equivalents off the waiver wire some place. Even in deep leagues. And even when Palmeiro comes back he may just be a spot starter anyway. We say toss him to the wolves and let other people fight over him. He’s a waste of roster space especially around playoff time.

Palmeiro Suspended [ESPNInsider(sub. req.)
Cancel Palmeiro’s Ticket to Cooperstown [MSNBC]

Fantasy Baseball: Time to Take Mike Piazza for a Long Car Ride

READ MORE: Fantasy Baseball, Mike Piazza, Tristan Cockroft

Even though he’s hitting some home runs, it appears New York Mets’ catcher Mike Piazza has finally fed up ESPN Insider’s Tristan Cockroft to the point to where he says any owner that has him is in a very precarious position and should rid themselves of him and his dirty sanchez mustache as soon as possible. No, we know most fantasy leagues don’t count defensive liability against its players, but in his Out of the Box column Cockroft points out that the future Hall of Famer is always one crouch away from the disabled list and that his batting average and OPS are eroding rapidly. However, deeper leagues short on quality catchers may still covet Piazza because of his home run potential. But also realize that, at this point, Piazza is a lower ranked catcher than the Toronto Blue Jays’ Greg Zaun. Oof.

A Star Falls in Flushing [ESPN Insider]

Fantasy Baseball: Kerry Wood’s Broken Mirrors

READ MORE: Fantasy Baseball, Kerry Wood, Tristan Cockroft

The troubles for Chicago Cubs’ pitcher Kerry Wood continue. He’s ineffective a large portion of the year and goes on the DL. He comes off the DL and he looks like the dominating pitcher everybody keeps thinking he’ll be. Then he gets hurt. AGAIN. Maybe he’s Kerry Wicker? Or Kerry Deadwood. Groaaannnn.

Anyway, ESPN’s fantasy oompa-loompah Tristan Cockroft examines Kerry Wood’s bad luck streak on his fantasy owners and scratches his beach ball-sized head in haste. He also dropped one of the most nerd-a-lific fantasy sports inside jokes in history:

“In essence, Wood is looking a lot like the fantasy baseball equivalent of NFL running back Fred Taylor.”

And guess what? We laughed. We all can’t be comedy geniuses like Cockroft. So, back off.

Knock on Wood [ESPN]

Fantasy Sports: A.J. Burnett Could Regain Studliness in Baltimore

READ MORE: A.J. Burnett, Baseball, Tristan Cockroft

So says ESPN’s pheromone-friendly huckster Tristan Cockroft in today’s Out of the Box column. He insists that Florida Marlins’ pitcher A.J. Burnett’s problems before last night’s encouraging performance at Arizona are probably due to all this messy trade talk. Cockroft says fantasy owners of Burnett should swell massively in their shorts over the prospects of him heading to Baltimore. New location,pennant(ahem) race, and Lee Mazilli’s pasta dishes every day should straighten him out. But we do feel bad that Burnett will have to shower with the sagging skin and soft bones of Sammy Sosa on a regular basis as well. That could damage a man’s psyche, we’re sure.

Open Auditions [ESPN]